8 passos para fazer a transição de amantes para amigos

Tornar-se amigo de alguém que já esteve apaixonado é extremamente difícil e nem toda a gente é capaz de o conseguir.

Mesmo que queira ser amigo de todo o coração, haverá sempre algumas barreiras que terá de ultrapassar para conseguir fazer a transição de amante para amigo.

If you’re sure that you’re ready to become friends with the guy you once loved, here are 8 steps that will help you in achieving it.

Don’t skip any of it because every single step is equally important if you want to build a true, unbreakable friendship.

Double check that you don’t have feelings for him

Pergunte a si própria se ainda sente algo por ele e se é sensato começar a trabalhar para se tornarem amigos.

Se tiver algum tipo de suspeita em relação aos seus sentimentos por ele, descarte a ideia de construir uma amizade com ele.

Precisa de se libertar completamente de todos os sentimentos que tinha por ele antes.

Only then will you be able to accomplish the transition from lovers to friends. Once you’ve checked this, you can proceed to a step two.

Não tenha pressa

Don’t rush things. Even if you’re sure that you don’t have any feelings attached to him, this doesn’t mean that you immediately ready to engage in any types of friendship activities with him.

Dêem algum tempo para poderem começar do zero. Ambos precisam de algum tempo a sós para compreenderem o que aconteceu e para ultrapassarem quaisquer sentimentos não digeridos.

É preciso aprender a ser livre de novo para começar a ser amigos depois de amantes.

Definir regras

Quando chegar o momento certo, a primeira coisa a fazer é estabelecer regras. Tem de o fazer com ele, porque ambos têm de as cumprir.

These can be rules regarding do’s and don’t and if someone fails at respecting it, you can think of some kind of a punishment that will prevent you from failing again.

Quando tiver limites firmes, será muito mais fácil passar por tudo e não terá de pensar se deve dizer algo ou não.

Saberão exatamente o que se espera de ambos e, se se mantiverem fiéis, tornar-se-ão amigos em pouco tempo.

Don’t even think of hooking up again

Whatever you do, please don’t even think of voltar a estar com ele.

That’s a real recipe for a catastrophe. Don’t let your impulse rule your mind if you want to nourish a true friendship with someone you once loved.

Deixar para trás os acontecimentos passados

Certifique-se de que se livra de todos os acontecimentos passados da sua relação anterior.

You don’t want your past to pop out every time you do something similar with him. If you’re still living in the past, it will be really hard to focus on the present.

Tudo vos fará lembrar o que costumavam ter e, quando isso acontece, a nostalgia é inevitável.

And, nostalgia makes us do things we normally wouldn’t consider doing.

Redefinir as suas expectativas

Another thing that you need to do is to reset your expectations. Don’t stick to the same expectations you once had in your relationship because now it’s a different story.

You cannot be mad because he didn’t reply to your text immediately because you are no longer in a relationship with him. If you want to be friends then you need act like that.

You cannot blame him for some things that you’ve blamed him for in the relationship as well.

If you do, you’ll destroy every single potential for becoming friends with him.

Lembre-se de manter a casualidade

Always keep your hanging out as casual as possible. Don’t go to some romantic places like you used to do when you were in a relationship.

The best choice is to hang out in groups for a start because that way you’ll avoid any possible awkward moments.

Keeping it casual means behaving casual and enjoying each other’s company. It means enjoying his company on a whole different level – friendship level.

And once you master it, you’ll most surely succeed in making the transition from lover to friends.