It’s never black or white when it comes to relationships. There are a lot of gray areas, a lot of in-betweens and a lot of questions that are hard to answer. There are times when you simply don’t know whether the better option is to leave or to stay and try to fix things.

The truth is it all depends on the situation and there are no two relationships in this world that are exactly alike. However, there are some similar difficulties that relationships can go through. Because of that, there are some common factors that can make your decision easier. There are some situations in which it is better to stay and patch things up and there are those that scream that it’s time to call quits on your relationship:

1. Ficar se as vantagens forem maiores do que as desvantagens

Tem de dar um passo atrás e olhar para a sua relação à distância. Será que toda a relação é má ou estão apenas a atravessar um período difícil? Houve mais coisas boas do que más? Houve mais sorrisos do que lágrimas no vosso rosto? Vale a pena ter tudo isto em consideração e, sem dúvida, deve ficar por perto, falar abertamente com o seu parceiro e ver o que ambos podem fazer para que as coisas voltem a correr bem.

2. Desistir quando não há respeito

If your partner doesn’t respect you, don’t think twice about leaving. Trust and respect are the foundations of any relationship and they are things that you should never compromise on. Two people in a relationship are equal, there shouldn’t be room for belittling, abuse or mistreatment of any sort. If they don’t respect you, if you don’t feel comfortable or like yourself around them, then it’s definitely time to show them the door.

3. Ficar quando precisam de espaço

Necessidade de espaço numa relação is not always a bad thing. The honeymoon phase of a relationship can’t last forever and being together nonstop can start to suffocate the relationship. Space might be exactly what you need, even if you are not aware of it. The time you spend together after will have more quality and it will feel so much better when you are finally together. So if your partner says they need space to pursue their own interests, or to spend some time alone with their friends or on their own, let them and see if the space might be helpful to your relationship.

4. Call it quits when they act like they don’t care

If they never make time for you and are always too ‘busy’ doing this or that, if they never bother to call or text and check up on you, if they never ask how your day went and if are you doing OK, if they act like they don’t care, believe them. Life is too short to beg for somebody’s attention, affection or love. If they don’t give it freely, it’s not worth your time.

5. Ficar quando se gosta da pessoa com quem se está

Stay if you accept them for who they are, with their flaws and their perfections, their strengths and their weaknesses. Stay if you feel like you can deal with each other’s kind of crazy, if you don’t spend your days thinking how things could be different if he would just change.

6. Desistir quando se está a implorar para que mudem

Nobody ever changes if they don’t feel the need to change or better said, if they don’t want to change themself. If they keep promising you they will treat you better, they will do things differently, they will invest more, but it’s all words and they never actually do anything then call it quits. An even worse case scenario is when you are stuck in something toxic and you keep thinking if you give it time, if you do things differently, maybe it will get better. Trust me, in those situations it never does and it’s better to call it quits than to allow them to keep messing up your life.

7. Ficar quando ambos querem trabalhar na vossa relação

Nunca parta sem dar uma oportunidade à sua relação. Se ambos sentem algo um pelo outro, mas começaram a sentir uma distância e há um desejo mútuo de reatar a relação, o mínimo que podem fazer é tentar. As coisas nem sempre estão estragadas de forma irreparável; se ainda se amam, se há compreensão e um desejo mútuo de salvar a vossa relação, é provável que consigam.

8. Call it quits when they don’t want to work on things

Mutual efforts are mandatory. If only one is doing all the heavy lifting and tries their best to make the relationship work, the relationship will break—it’s only a matter of time. Regardless of all the love and the strength you might have within you, you can’t do everything on your own. Both people involved in a relationship need to invest and work on things, everything else is a waste of time.