I never thought I’d be talking to you ever again. I thought once I got far away from you, I’d be saved, and that’d be the last time we hear from each other, but life has its way of showing me I should switch up and start looking the bigger picture.

I was thinking if I should introduce myself, but then it hit me that a predator always knows his pray, and I know you’d recognize me no matter where. You’d differ my ‘handwriting’ from somebody else’s everywhere because you know me perfectly well, don’t you?

You remember this insecure girl who needed somebody to love her because she wasn’t strong enough to love herself? Yeah, I knew you’d recognize me.

There are things that I haven’t told you and I have this skin-itching desire to give myself closure to our story. I need it so I can move on. I need it so I don’t grant you the last word in what happened between us.

I had no idea how weak I was, but you did. I was a perfect victim for your games and I was just the one you could manipulate,—so naive and so pure-hearted it would be a sin not to use me and satisfy your narcissistic ego, right? Boy, I was such a good catch to you.

Baixei a minha guarda.

Porque I didn’t know how to love myself, I needed somebody else to love me instead. I needed to have somebody by my side because I had no idea how it feels to feel good about yourself. That was so wrong. Whenever something bad happened, I guessed I was the one to be blamed, I thought it was my fault. I always thought I was the guilty one—what else is new?

Deixei-te entrar.

You taught me it’s not OK to let people in.

I never trusted someone like I trusted you. I believed you’ll be good to me and that you’d never hurt me. When I showed you my deepest feelings, when I poured my heart out in the open, when I whispered my fears the quietest I could, you showed me I should’ve kept them to myself.

Foste tu que me ensinaste a não amar.

I thought you’d taken care of me, but I survived every downfall alone. Every setback I had, you pretended you didn’t see. But it made you feel good, didn’t it—to see me at my lowest? That’s exactly where you needed me in order to feel better about yourself.

I was drowning and I was hoping you would be the one to save me. You would have pulled my hand if you were one of the good guys. But you weren’t. Now I know, you’d stretch your hand towards the water but not to save me—, it’d be just to push me in deeper.

Quero que penses na rapariga que usaste no seu momento mais vulnerável. Quero que penses na rapariga que te deu o seu amor sem receber nada em troca. Quero que penses na rapariga que só ficou com nódoas negras no coração do homem em quem mais confiava.

Agora, quero que penses na rapariga que merecia mais do que isso.

Quero que penses na rapariga que merecia mais do que ser ignorada.

Quero que penses na rapariga que merecia mais do que ser manipulada.

Quero que penses na rapariga que merecia alguém melhor do que tu.

Esta rapariga quer agradecer-lhe. I am grateful to you for treating me like I didn’t deserve a place in this world. I thank you for manipulating me, ignoring me, and playing me. I am grateful for each and every emotional beating you put me through. I want to thank you for not loving me. Because you made me love myself. 

Quando não havia mais ninguém para me amar, confiei em mim próprio. Quando não havia mais ninguém para me salvar, eu salvei-me. Quando não havia ninguém para me levantar quando me derrubavas, eu levantava-me sozinha. Podes não ter tido essa intenção, mas é a ti que tenho de agradecer por me teres tornado tão forte.

I learned to walk alone in this world. I realized that the love I deserve was never gonna come from you. I learned I am good enough for somebody else. I don’t need to be good for you—I am good enough for myself. I deserve all the love in this world because that’s all I was giving to others as well. I realized Eu merecia alguém melhor do que tu and that’s what gave me the strength to leave you just when I thought I could never live without you.

Tu sabes, Agora estou pronto. I am the healthy soul that’s finally ready to let somebody else in. That’s why I gave myself permission to think of you again. I’m doing it so I could say goodbye to you. I realize it’s not me that wasn’t good enough for you, but it was you that wasn’t good enough for me.

Podes pensar que me conheces perfeitamente, mas estás muito enganado. Estás tão enganado a meu respeito como eu estava a teu respeito no início da história. Tu eras a minha escuridão e eu deixei-te ir.

I am finally ready to move on and we’re finally done. You won’t recognize my caligrafia anymore because it’s a happy person that’s writing from now on. It’s this lucky person who learned to love herself and found somebody to give her the love she deserves.