18 Honest Regrets Divorced Couples Have and 14 Things They Wish They’d Done Differently

Ninguém vai para o altar a pensar, Wow, I can’t wait to regret half my choices later! Mas fale com qualquer pessoa divorciada, e they’ll have at least um thing they’d redo in a heartbeat. Maybe it’s the way they communicated (or didn’t), the small things they took for granted, or that one argument over Tampas de tupperware que de alguma forma se transformou numa crise existencial total.

Hindsight is 20/20, and while we can’t rewrite the past, we pode learn from it. So, I did some digging—listening to histórias reais de casais divorciados que revelaram os seus maiores arrependimentos e as mudanças que desejo tinham feito antes de se despedirem. Algumas são de partir o coração, outras são surpreendentemente engraçadas, mas todas são reveladoras.

So let’s dive into the lessons from those who’ve been there, done that, and lived to tell the tale. Trust me—you’ll want to take notes.

1. Not Saying ‘I Love You’ Enough

If I could rewind time, I’d tell my past self to look into his eyes more often and say those three little words. We get so caught up in the hustle and bustle that expressing love becomes an afterthought. Neglecting to say ‘I love you’ was a small oversight that grew into a canyon of distance.

I remember nights on the couch, him engrossed in a movie, me pretending to watch but really just wanting to cuddle and connect. Those words could’ve been the bridge that closed our emotional gap.

Next time, I’m holding nothing back. Love deserves to be loud. Let’s promise to make those words a regular part of our conversations—not just reserved for anniversaries or when parting for work. Love is in the small, everyday expressions. Don’t let silence speak for you.

2. Ignorar o poder dos pequenos gestos

The little things we overlook often turn out to be the big things in disguise. I used to dismiss the power of a simple cup of coffee made just the way he liked it. Those small acts of kindness were like deposits into our love bank.

Quando deixámos de os fazer, começámos, sem o saber, a entrar em descoberto emocional. As manhãs passavam-se em silêncio, a ausência desses gestos gritava mais alto do que quaisquer palavras.

I’ve learned that love flourishes in the mundane, in those quiet moments of ‘I’ve got you.’ So here’s my advice—cherish those small gestures. They’re the whispers of love that say, ‘I see you, I appreciate you.’ It’s in these tiny acts of love that big regrets can be avoided. Next time, let’s brew more love with each cup.

3. Tomar uns aos outros como garantidos

Ah, the classic tale of taking someone for granted. I thought we had forever, so I didn’t rush to say thank you or show appreciation. We were like two ships passing in the night, assuming the other would always be there.

In hindsight, I wish I’d cherished each moment, savored each conversation, and paused to appreciate the little quirks that made us, us. Instead, I let the mundane swallow our spark.

We forgot to water our love garden, thinking it was drought-resistant. Spoiler alert: it wasn’t. So here’s a gentle nudge—don’t wait for a special occasion to appreciate your partner. Celebrate the everyday, the ordinary. Trust me, you’ll miss it when it’s gone. Let’s keep the romance alive, even in the routine.

4. Negligenciar os encontros noturnos

Date nights were the first to go when life got busy. We always thought there’d be time later, but later never came. Our relationship became a footnote in our busy schedules.

I sometimes wonder what would have happened if we had kept those dates sacred. Maybe we’d still be sneaking glances across a candle-lit table instead of reminiscing about what once was.

Here’s my golden nugget: don’t let life’s craziness steal your time together. Schedule those dates, protect them fiercely. Let it be your sacred tradition. Even if it’s just a walk in the park or a movie at home, make it a priority. Love needs nurturing, and date nights are the perfect fertilizer.

5. Perdermo-nos na paternidade

Parenthood is a wild ride, isn’t it? Somewhere along the way, we lost sight of ourselves as a couple, buried under diapers and school projects. We became partners in parenting, but strangers in romance.

I regret not carving out time to just be us—a couple without the titles of mom and dad. In the whirlwind of raising tiny humans, we forgot to nurture the relationship that brought us here.

So to all the parents out there—don’t forget who you were before the kids came along. Make time for just the two of you. Remember, a strong relationship is the foundation of a happy family. Next time, let’s promise to keep the romance alive amidst the chaos of parenthood.

6. Varrer os problemas para debaixo do tapete

Éramos campeões em evitar confrontos. Eu achava que ignorar os problemas os faria desaparecer, mas eles apenas se apodreciam à superfície. Cada problema não resolvido era um tijolo no muro que construímos entre nós.

Our home felt like a museum of unspoken words, each silence louder than a scream. I wish we’d faced our issues head-on instead of sweeping them under the rug.

So here’s the lesson: don’t let silence win. Talk, argue if needed, but don’t ignore. Address the small issues before they grow into insurmountable mountains. Next time, let’s lift the rug and clean house.

7. Não dar prioridade à saúde mental

Mental health was a topic we tiptoed around. I regret not prioritizing our individual wellness, assuming love alone could fix everything. Spoiler: it can’t.

Ignoring mental health was like ignoring a leaking roof during a rainstorm. Eventually, everything gets soaked, and it’s a mess to repair.

Therapy could have been our lifesaver, but we never gave it a chance. So here’s my advice: seek help when you need it, individually and together. Your mental well-being is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship. Next time, let’s put our mental health on the front burner.

8. Deixar o romance desvanecer-se

O nosso romance foi-se perdendo lentamente como areia por entre os dedos. Deixámos que a rotina diária extinguisse a chama que outrora ardia.

Arrependo-me de não ter planeado mais surpresas ou escapadelas românticas. Esses momentos são a cola que nos mantém unidos quando a vida tenta separar-nos.

Don’t let romance become an afterthought. Infuse your relationship with spontaneity and passion. Let’s promise to keep the spark alive, one surprise at a time.

9. Esquecer-se de comunicar

A comunicação é a tábua de salvação de qualquer relação, e a nossa estava a funcionar como suporte de vida. Falávamos, mas we didn’t really talk. Perdemos a nossa capacidade de partilhar abertamente, escondendo-nos atrás de agendas ocupadas e textos vagos.

Anseio por aquelas conversas profundas em que o tempo parecia parar, em que nos ligávamos a um nível mais do que superficial.

Here’s the takeaway: never stop talking. Share your hopes, dreams, and even your fears. Next time, let’s keep the dialogue alive. A relationship without communication is like a phone without a signal—useless.

10. Não estabelecer limites com os sogros

Ah, the in-law dance—it’s a tricky one. We never set clear boundaries, and it led to tension and misunderstandings. I regret not having those conversations early on about what was acceptable and what wasn’t.

Os limites são essenciais, não só para a sanidade mental, mas também para preservar a santidade do nosso casamento. Permitimos que influências externas se infiltrassem no nosso espaço privado, criando fissuras nos nossos alicerces.

Next time, let’s have those conversations early and often. Protect your space with kindness but firmness. Your relationship deserves that sacred boundary.

11. Guardar rancor

Grudges were our silent killers. I held onto past hurts like trophies, not realizing they were weighing me down. I wish I’d let go sooner.

Cada rancor era um muro e, pedaço a pedaço, construímos uma fortaleza que nos isolou. O perdão é poderoso, e arrependo-me de não o ter abraçado mais cedo.

Let go of the past to make room for the future. Grudges are heavy; they’ll only slow you down. Next time, let’s travel light.

12. Não procurar ajuda profissional

Éramos demasiado orgulhosos para pedir ajuda. Procurar orientação profissional era como admitir a derrota, mas, na realidade, poderia ter sido a nossa salvação.

Sometimes love needs a little help, a third party to mediate and offer insight. I wish we’d seen a counselor before things spiraled out of control.

Don’t let pride be the reason you fall apart. Reach out for help when you need it. Next time, let’s accept that it’s okay not to have all the answers.

13. Concentrar-se demasiado na carreira

Perseguimos objectivos profissionais como maratonistas, sempre em busca do próximo marco. Nesse processo, a nossa relação ficou em segundo plano.

O sucesso no trabalho parecia vazio quando não havia ninguém com quem o partilhar em casa. Arrependo-me das noitadas e dos jantares perdidos, pensando que o trabalho era mais importante.

Balance is key. Don’t let your career overshadow what truly matters. Next time, let’s celebrate work achievements together, not at the expense of each other.

14. Não ser aberto em relação às finanças

Money, the ultimate taboo topic. We avoided financial discussions, hoping everything would magically work out. Spoiler: it didn’t.

Lamento não ter sido transparente quanto aos nossos objectivos e desafios financeiros. Isso criou tensão e desconfiança, acabando por se tornar um obstáculo entre nós.

Falar abertamente sobre dinheiro. Fazer planos financeiros em conjunto to avoid misunderstandings. Next time, let’s face finances head-on and build a future on solid ground.

15. Esperar a perfeição

A perfeição era o ladrão silencioso que roubava a nossa alegria. Esperava que tudo fosse impecável, desde a nossa casa à nossa relação.

In chasing perfection, I overlooked the beauty of imperfection—the laughter in our mistakes, the growth in our struggles. It was the perfect love story trapped in an unrealistic dream.

Embrace imperfection. It’s where life happens. Next time, let’s celebrate the messy, beautiful reality.

16. Não arranjar tempo para a intimidade

A intimidade foi a vítima das nossas vidas ocupadas. Deixamos que o cansaço e a rotina nos roubem esses momentos de ternura que outrora nos ligava.

I miss those late-night talks and quiet moments of closeness. Intimacy isn’t just physical; it’s emotional, too.

Don’t underestimate its importance. Make time for connection, both physically and emotionally. Next time, let’s ensure we never forget the power of a gentle touch or a shared moment.

17. Não ser honesto em relação aos sentimentos

Honesty was our missing ingredient. I bottled up my feelings, fearing I’d hurt him or cause a fight.

But those unspoken words turned into resentment, slowly eroding our bond. I wish I’d been braver, more open about my feelings and needs.

Speak your truth with love. It’s better to have a difficult conversation than to live with regret. Next time, let’s promise to be honest, even when it’s hard.

18. Não rir juntos

O riso era a música da nossa relação e, quando deixava de tocar, tudo parecia desafinado. Deixámos que o stress e a rotina silenciassem a nossa alegria partilhada.

Em retrospetiva, vejo como o riso poderia ter sido a nossa tábua de salvação, uma recordação da razão pela qual nos apaixonámos.

Don’t let laughter fade away. Encontrar alegria no mundano, humor no caos. Next time, let’s laugh more, love more.

19. Não viajar juntos

Adventures together became dreams deferred. We always planned to travel ‘someday,’ but that day never came.

Lamento não termos explorado o mundo juntos, perdendo a oportunidade de criar memórias para além da nossa rotina diária. As viagens poderiam ter sido o nosso escape, a nossa forma de nos reconectarmos.

Make travel a priority, even if it’s just a weekend getaway. Next time, let’s pack our bags and explore the world together.

20. Ignorar as necessidades emocionais

A negligência emocional é um assassino silencioso de relações. Estávamos tão concentrados nos aspectos tangíveis da vida que ignorámos as nossas necessidades emocionais interiores.

I regret not checking in more often, not asking ‘how are you, really?’ It’s those deeper connections that truly sustain a relationship.

Ask the hard questions, be there for each other emotionally. Next time, let’s nurture our emotional garden as much as our physical one.

21. Deixar o ciúme apodrecer

O ciúme era o convidado não convidado da nossa relação. Deixei que as minhas inseguranças construíssem um muro, lançando sombras sobre a nossa confiança.

Arrependo-me de não ter abordado o assunto mais cedo, permitindo que ele se instalasse e gerasse desconfiança. A comunicação poderia ter sido o nosso antídoto, mas o orgulho meteu-se no caminho.

Talk about your insecurities, address jealousy before it corrodes your connection. Next time, let’s be open and trust wholeheartedly.

22. Não celebrar marcos históricos

Milestones came and went like passing ships in the night. We didn’t celebrate as we should have, letting those moments slip by unnoticed.

I wish we’d taken the time to acknowledge our journey, toasting to our achievements and growth. Those celebrations could have been our anchors, reminding us of our shared history.

Celebrate every win, big or small. Next time, let’s make every milestone a memory.

23. Not Being Each Other’s Best Friend

Esquecemo-nos de cultivar a amizade que estava na base da nossa relação. Lamento não ter sido a sua confidente, a sua fonte de riso e de conforto.

In chasing romance, we lost the camaraderie that made us click in the first place. I wish we’d done more to keep the friendship alive.

Be each other’s best friend. Share secrets, dreams, and laughter. Next time, let’s cherish the friendship as much as the romance.

24. Não valorizar as diferenças

As nossas diferenças eram uma fonte de fricção e não de celebração. Lamento não ter valorizado as perspectivas únicas que trazíamos para a mesa.

Em vez de as ver como pontos fortes, vi-as como obstáculos. As nossas diferenças poderiam ter enriquecido as nossas vidas, mas deixámo-las dividir-nos.

Embrace your differences, learn from each other. Next time, let’s celebrate our individual quirks.

25. Não dar espaço suficiente

We were so entwined in each other’s lives that we forgot the value of personal space. I regret not encouraging time apart for personal growth.

Being together doesn’t mean losing yourself, and I wish we’d realized that sooner. Time apart can bring you closer, giving you new things to share.

Give each other room to breathe, to grow, and to be individuals. Next time, let’s embrace space as a strength, not a threat.

26. Não pedir desculpa quando é necessário

Pride was our constant companion, stopping us from saying ‘I’m sorry’ when it mattered most. I regret letting ego win over love.

Each unsaid apology was a missed opportunity to heal, to reconnect. I wish I’d been quicker to apologize, to mend the cracks before they became chasms.

Apologize sincerely and swiftly. Next time, let’s be quicker to mend fences, not burn them.

27. Não estar presente

Num mundo cheio de distracções, esquecemo-nos de estar presentes. Arrependo-me de não ter pousado o meu telemóvel, de não ter estado verdadeiramente no momento com ele.

Those missed connections were lost opportunities to grow closer, to truly understand each other. I wish I’d looked up more often, seen him, really seen him.

Be present. Engage fully with your partner, not just physically but emotionally. Next time, let’s make every moment count.

28. Ignorar o conflito

Éramos mestres da evasão, pensando ignorar o conflito would make it vanish. It didn’t.

Cada problema não resolvido era uma bomba-relógio, à espera de explodir. Arrependo-me de não ter confrontado os problemas de frente, de não ter percebido que o conflito saudável faz parte do crescimento.

Deal with conflicts as they arise. Next time, let’s face challenges together, not turn away from them.

29. Desistir demasiado facilmente

When the going got tough, we gave up too easily. I wish we’d fought harder for what we had, instead of letting challenges defeat us.

Arrependo-me de não ter visto o potencial para além dos problemas, de não ter percebido que a perseverança poderia ter conduzido a algo belo.

Don’t let the first sign of trouble be the end. Next time, let’s fight for love, not abandon it.

30. Não partilhar objectivos e sonhos

Os nossos objectivos e sonhos nunca estiveram alinhados, sempre paralelos, mas nunca se encontraram. Lamento não ter partilhado os meus sonhos, não ter planeado um futuro juntos.

Éramos dois caminhos que nunca se cruzaram, perdendo a oportunidade de caminhar juntos em direção a um horizonte comum.

Share your dreams, align your goals. Next time, let’s walk the same path, hand in hand.

31. Traveling More Together

Many divorced couples wistfully recall the adventures they never took. Travel often offers unique opportunities to bond, away from daily routines and stresses. It provides a chance to discover new cultures and experiences together, fostering a deeper connection.

Some regret not prioritizing these shared adventures, missing out on the excitement of exploring the unknown side by side. The absence of these experiences often leaves a void, as they are moments that could have enriched their relationship with shared memories and stories.

In hindsight, they wish they’d created a tapestry of global memories together, strengthening their bond.

32. Sharing Household Responsibilities Equally

One of the common regrets is not sharing household responsibilities more equally. Many partners find themselves overwhelmed, leading to resentment and exhaustion. Couples often reflect on how the imbalance in chores created unnecessary tension.

Balancing these responsibilities might have fostered teamwork and mutual respect, creating a more harmonious home environment. The act of sharing tasks can also serve as a platform for communication and understanding, building trust and partnership.

Couples look back wishing they’d collaborated more effectively, realizing that equality in daily tasks forms a solid foundation for a lasting relationship.