Estou farto de ser sempre a tua última escolha

Estou farta de ser forte o tempo todo e de fingir que tenho tudo. Nunca quis ser uma mulher assim.

Nunca planeei ser someone’s maybe, someone’s last option. But in the blink of an eye, I found myself here, crawling in front of you and begging for some love. I was wondering why you couldn’t love me the way I loved you.

I was so easy to love but you refused to see that. You always treated me like someone who will be there for you no matter what you do. You liked the feeling that there is someone who loves you even if you don’t love them.

Your ego was boosted every time I would call you late at night in my moments of insanity, asking you why you don’t want to love me back and why you are pushing me away.

Depois, quando sorrias e me dizias que devia ir para a cama, apercebia-me do pouco que significava para ti. E tu significavas o mundo inteiro para mim.

Sempre que me negligenciavas, eu morria por dentro. Sempre que olhavas para outra rapariga, o meu mundo desmoronava-se.

Sempre que dizias que estavas feliz com alguém novo na tua vida, eu perdia qualquer esperança de estar contigo.

I desperately wanted to hear that you love me just like I loved you. But I never heard those words coming out of your mouth. And when I asked you if we can be more than friends, you just said ‘maybe’.

For you, once more I was the last option—your last choice who would be there when all of your so-called friends left you.

Era suposto ser eu a pessoa que te confortaria nos teus momentos de tristeza, mas que nunca seria capaz de limpar as lágrimas do teu rosto. Era suposto ser eu a dizer-vos que tudo vai ficar bem, mas nunca serei capaz de vos abraçar.

Eu era apenas uma mulher a quem tu vinhas sempre que te era conveniente. E sempre que me chamavas, eu vinha sem pensar no meu orgulho.

Por tua causa, esqueci-me de me valorizar. Pus-te sempre em primeiro lugar, mas isso foi o meu maior erro.

I don’t know why I settled for someone who never knew my true value. I don’t understand why I accepted to be your last choice in the first place.

Maybe I was so much in love that I didn’t pay attention to that. And no matter how much I think about that, I can’t find reasons good enough to explain why it took me so much to get rid of putting you first.

But I somehow managed to do that, even if that meant letting you go out of my life. I knew that I had been holding onto something that didn’t exist anymore. And it was enough!

Por isso, desisti!
And I didn’t do that because I failed but because I learned.

Aprendi que era altura de deixar de pôr os outros em primeiro lugar porque Eu sou a única prioridade da minha vida. I learned that others will never respect me if I don’t respect myself enough.

Apercebi-me que, independentemente do que dissesses, eu era mais do que suficiente. Eu era digna do teu amor, mas tu nunca quiseste admitir isso.

From now on, I have a totally different outlook on life. I don’t look at myself in the mirror and think that I am the unlovable one.

Now, I think that I deserve all the love and affection of this world. I am no longer interested in being someone’s ‘maybe’, someone’s last choice like I was to you.

I am not interested in being part of a one-sided love anymore—the love where I was the one who was always giving and never receiving.

I am done being in love with the man who couldn’t even give me a chance to show him my love.

I don’t want to waste my time on someone who will never accept me the way I am.

If I already was your second choice, then you definitely don’t deserve to be my first. Never again!