Como cortejar uma mulher em 12 passos eficazes

Embora se possa pensar que a corte é uma coisa do passado, a verdade é que muitos homens hoje em dia se perguntam como cortejar uma mulher corretamente. 

It’s actually pretty expected; we’ve gotten cansado dos encontros modernos and all the games it brings with it so most of us want the real deal. It seems that we’ve reached full circle. 

Everyone interested in courtship knows its numerous benefits. If you’re one of those people, you’re aware that this is one of the best ways to find your spouse, as outdated as it might seem.

Então, como é que se corteja uma mulher? Temos todas as respostas de que precisa. Aqui está um guia passo a passo sobre o namoro. 

Reconhecer as diferenças entre namoro e cortejo

Antes de mais, é preciso saber que namorar e cortejar são dois termos diferentes. Basicamente, cortejar é uma forma mais tradicional de namoro.

Simply put, when you engage in dating someone, you don’t know where it will take you. You live day to day, without thinking much about the future. 

This is just another station along your way. It can be permanent but it’s more likely to be something temporário.

You won’t remember most women you dated once you grow old. They’re there to pass the time, make your life more interesting and help you wait for the right one.

On the other hand, courtship is a full stop. It’s a final destination and something with a bigger purpose and a deeper cause. 

Quando namoramos com mais pessoas, damos pedaços do nosso coração e do nosso corpo a cada uma delas.

Uma vez terminada uma relação, uma parte de si ficou para sempre com essa pessoa que já não faz parte da sua vida.

Nevertheless, courtship differs because it’s the only way you have to give yourself entirely, physically, emotionally and spiritually to one person only. 

Para além das diferenças de objetivo, o namoro e o cortejo não são iguais no que diz respeito às pessoas envolvidas. Antes de mais, quando se corteja uma mulher, essa relação é sempre monogâmica. 

You’re not here to explore your options and you don’t alternate between girls. Instead, both your attention and theirs is directed toward the two of you.

No entanto, no namoro, há outras pessoas envolvidas. O vosso namoro não é um segredo e toda a vossa comunidade e círculos religiosos, especialmente os vossos pais e familiares mais próximos, sabem disso. 

Além disso, ao contrário do namoro, o namoro é muito mais do que a satisfação das necessidades físicas. De facto, uma das suas características básicas é a sua capacidade de resistir à tentação que nos rodeia. 

A devoção é obrigatória

Se planeia cortejar uma mulher, saiba que se espera de si coisas como compromisso e devoção. Tem de estar totalmente dedicado à sua relação e a ela, uma vez que se trata de um trabalho a tempo inteiro.

Don’t misunderstand me; I’m not saying that your life should stop just because you’ve decided to court a girl. However, she should definitely become the center of your world.

It’s wrong to assume that it’s acceptable to make this woman your second choice. Instead, she needs to get the place at the top of your priority list from the very start.

Afinal de contas, de que outra forma lhe mostrará que quer um compromisso sério? De que outra forma espera que ela confie em si?

Let’s be straight about one thing—you won’t get the woman you want just like that. She won’t fall right into your arms the moment she realizes that you’re courting her.

Instead, you’ll need to invest some time, energy and effort into all of this. So, if this is not something you’re ready to do, please give up in time. 

When you’re figuring out how to court a woman, you have to be honest with yourself and determine whether you’re capable of being devoted to just one woman.

Consegue empenhar-se em cortejar o seu potencial parceiro?

Another thing to remember is that you’re courting one girl at a time. Even though you’re technically not together, your fidelity cannot be questioned. 

O casamento é o seu objetivo final

When you start dating someone, you don’t think about the future much. You viver um dia de cada vez e ver até onde vos leva.

You don’t know whether this will even become a real relação sériae muito menos se se transformará numa companhia para toda a vida. 

No entanto, o namoro é muito diferente. Desde o início que se tem um objetivo final, que é o casamento.

The truth is that nobody can guarantee you that you’ll really end up casar the woman you’re courting. After all, you still have to get to know each other and figure out whether you’re compatible or not.

Ninguém pode dizer com certeza se a vossa relação vai resultar. No entanto, o que importa é que tenha a intenção de a transformar em casamento.

Everything between you and the woman you’re courting leads to this final step. 

You’re not investigating other options while you’re with her. Instead, from day one, you’re both preparing to walk down the aisle. 

Por exemplo, pode ter saído com uma rapariga durante anos. No entanto, a ideia de casar com ela nunca lhe passou pela cabeça e, por isso, nunca fez as perguntas certas.

Nunca se perguntou que tipo de esposa ela seria, nunca falaram sobre a vossa vida juntos, nem sobre ter filhos. 

Por isso, depois de tanto tempo passado com ela, não faz ideia dos seus objectivos de vida. Nunca abordaram nenhum assunto sério e estavam apenas a divertir-se. 

Por outro lado, olhas para esta mulher com outros olhos desde o primeiro momento em que a conheces.

Em vez de, por exemplo, colocar o foco no corpo dela, presta-se atenção ao facto de ela ser uma de elevado valor mulher e material de esposa ou não.

O mesmo acontece vice-versa. Em vez de impressionar a rapariga com os seus dotes de jogador, esforça-se por lhe mostrar que seria um ótimo marido e pai. 

Ser o iniciador de tudo

Even though you are (and should be) for equality, when it comes to courting, you’re the man so please, don’t forget to act like one. 

No, I’m not saying that your girl should be submissive to you in any way. This doesn’t mean that she has fewer rights than you do or that your opinion counts more.

Vocês são e serão parceiros e ninguém está subordinado à outra pessoa.

However, you’re the one who decided to court her. Therefore, you have to show your alpha qualities and be the leader of this game. 

I won’t lie to you; courage is necessary here. You’ll get nowhere if you let your insecurities take over you or if you let your nervous side prevent you from approaching this girl.

Como homem, tens de ser tu a iniciar tudo.

You’re the one who will ‘pick’ the girl you’re about to court, the one who will ask for her number, the one who will ask her out and arrange the perfect primeiro encontro. 

Later, you’ll be the one who will suggest taking your relationship to the next level and, finally, the one who will make a marriage proposal. 

However, this doesn’t mean that you can do everything your way, without waiting for this girl’s approval.

Even though you’re carrying most of the weight, you still need her feedback and, most importantly, consent. 

The trick is to read in-between the lines and figure out this girl’s hints. As a real lady, she’ll never make an actual move but she will definitely subtly show you her desires. 

What I’m trying to tell you is that you have to be wise enough to see whether this girl is ready for the next step.

For example, you won’t ask her to marry you out of the blue unless you see that she is willing to become your wife. 

Exprimir os seus sentimentos à mulher dos seus sonhos

Os sinais contraditórios tornaram-se a norma nos encontros modernos. Faz-se de difícil e finge-se que não se está interessado em alguém de quem se gosta claramente, só para que essa pessoa acabe por pensar em nós e gostar de nós.

Parece complicado e completamente desnecessário, certo? Bem, infelizmente é assim que as coisas funcionam atualmente.

You’re considered too emotional if you happen to show your feelings. If you open your heart to another party, you’re giving them a chance to break it without any consequences.

Basicamente, toda a cena moderna dos encontros é baseada em suposições. Tem de ser um leitor de mentes e adivinhar se o seu potencial parceiro está apaixonado por si ou não.

Tudo se transformou numa grande jogo. Consequently, couples don’t enjoy the initial stages of their relationship. Instead, the only thing important here is who will beat whom.

Quem será o primeiro a ser derrubado e quem será o primeiro a admitir a derrota. 

You spend most of your time dissecting the other person’s words and actions. You try to outsmart them and vencê-los no seu próprio jogo.

Naturally, all of this exhausts you. If you play along, it turns you into someone you’ve never been. 

Bem, a boa notícia é que pode esquecer todas estas práticas quando se trata de cortejar.

There are no mind games, no mixed signals, no dissecting the other person’s texts or social media, no wondering where you stand.

De facto, aqui tudo é muito claro desde o início. Como homem, deve ser completamente honesto sobre os seus sentimentos e intenções desde o início.

All of this is pointless if you’re too afraid to approach this girl. Don’t let her wonder what you want from her or whether you’re courageous enough to take it.

The most important thing here is to tell her directly that you want to court her. Tell her that you’re not interested in typical dating and that you want both of you to know where you stand. 

No entanto, quando declarar o seu amor à mulher dos seus sonhos, abstenha-se de uma linguagem emocional forte. Não há necessidade de a cortejar ou de introduzir algumas palavras doces logo desde o início.

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Ter olhos só para ela

I can’t emphasize this enough; courting is strictly monogamous so this doesn’t include dating more than one woman.

De facto, isso significa que deve ter os olhos postos apenas nela, mesmo que os dois estejam num relação à distância.

Não há como ver outras raparigas, não lhes enviar mensagens, não explorar as suas opções e não namoriscar com mais ninguém. 

You see, when it comes to courting, the term ‘fidelity’ has a slightly different concept than in dating. 

No, you won’t allow your partner to be possessive, nor will you erase the entire life you had before her.

Nevertheless, in courtship, you can’t use your ex to make her jealous, nor can you use an online dating app, which is sadly a common scenario in modern dating. 

You’re taken even though you two still might not be in an official relationship. So you better act that way. 

The woman you’re courting has to feel special. She needs to know that she is unique to you and that you wouldn’t trade her for the primeira mulher que demonstre algum interesse em si. 

Ela precisa de saber que prefere estar solteiro do que com qualquer outra rapariga para além dela. Que ela não é apenas a tua primeira, mas a tua única escolha. 

The worst thing you can do here is compare your woman to some other girls. Don’t try making her feel insecure and don’t try acting like a player. 

If you plan on courting more than one woman at a time and expect them to fight for your love and attention, think again because you’re in the wrong place. 

It’s crucial for her to know that you respect her enough never to betray her. Courting doesn’t allow you to go behind your woman’s back or to make a fool out of her.

If it happens that you fall for some other woman or see that things between you two aren’t working, act like a real man and leave in time. Don’t wait until you find a backup plan to escape this courtship scheme.

Trust me, this is the only honest thing to do. The only way in which you’ll show enough respect for the woman next to you. 

Everything else makes you an immature boy who doesn’t know what he wants. It makes you a part of the crowd, despite your desire to stand out from all of her other suitors. 

Tornar-se amigo

Um dos maiores pesadelos de todos os homens é ficar preso na friendzone. I won’t lie to you, it really is awful.

There you are, fighting for a girl’s affections and doing everything you can to make her happy and show her that you’re the perfect guy for her.

On the other hand, she only sees you as a friend. She wastes time on different suitors, complaining that she can’t find the right one.

During all of this time, you’re right in front of her face. She even says that she would be happiest if she could have a namorado like you, as if you don’t exist. 

Knowing all of this, all dating advice will tell you that you should in no way become friends with the girl you like. Instead, you should go after her right away, otherwise you’ll remain in the friendzone forever. 

Bem, o truque da corte é que ela começa com um tipo de amizade e de altruísmo. Não se trata de uma amizade normal.

Em vez disso, the woman you’re courting knows your intentions from the start. However, neither of you wants to rush things.

You choose to lead your relationship slowly and that’s why you’ll become friends before anything else. 

Naturally, you won’t become this woman’s best friend in a way that she’ll ask for your advice regarding other guys or that you should help her put makeup on.

In fact, you will be each other’s confidant and biggest supporter. 

Para além de tentar perceber se you’re compatible com essa rapariga ou não, o seu objetivo deve ser fazer com que ela também confie em si e isso só é possível através da amizade. 

You need to show her that you’re a real man she can count on. A man who will be there to have her back, no matter what, and someone she can rely on in every possible situation. 

Agir como um cavalheiro

Lately, the terms gentleman and lady have lost their importance. When you’re hitting on a girl, you don’t watch your language or manners. 

Well, that is quite different when it comes to courting. In fact, when you’re wondering how to court a woman, being a gentleman is one of the first responses you’ll get.

Don’t worry, this doesn’t make you old-fashioned or one of those overly conservative people. No matter what a bunch of girls might say, trust me that most women dream of having a gentleman by her side. 

A primeira caraterística de qualquer cavalheiro é o respeito. Tem sempre de respeitar a sua mulher e dar-lhe o lugar que ela merece na sua vida.

However, you won’t only respect her and the people you love. You’ll have enormous respect for literally everyone you encounter, including your employees or serving staff. 

Só assim se pode exigir o mesmo tratamento aos outros. 

O ponto seguinte é a sua higiene, que tem de estar sempre em perfeita ordem. Esqueça a ideia errada de que cuidar de si é algo reservado apenas às mulheres.

Trust me—this couldn’t be further from the truth. Take regular showers, use body sprays and perfumes, brush your teeth and make sure you’re always dressed for the occasion.

Show this woman that you’re a man of your word. Make her understand that you’re someone who keeps his promises and that your actions always match your words. 

Outra coisa com que deve ter muito cuidado é a sua linguagem. Não há lugar para palavrões, independentemente das circunstâncias.

I know you might get angry but that doesn’t give you the right to insult anyone around you or to curse. Remember, if you don’t have anything nice to say, it’s always wiser to remain quiet. 

A próxima coisa na lista são as boas maneiras. Existem algumas regras básicas de etiqueta que todos cavalheiro tem de seguir.

First and foremost, you have to hold the door open for your lady. It doesn’t matter whether you’re entering a restaurant or a car; this is always your job.

Also, make sure you’re never late. If you can’t make it on time, call your date, apologize and make sure this doesn’t become a habit of yours. 

Sempre que chegar a um restaurante ou a um café, deixe que seja ela a sentar-se primeiro. Não só isso, mas puxe uma cadeira para ela e ajude-a a tirar o casaco.  

When you two are eating together, follow some basic table manners. Keep your elbows off the table, don’t talk while you’re eating, give her a chance to order first, pour her drinks and get the check. And don’t forget to surprise her with histórias românticas para adormecer. 

Impressionar a família

O que torna o namoro especialmente sério é o facto de incluir tanto os membros da família como os melhores amigos e os círculos religiosos.

A sua tarefa não é apenas impressionar a mulher dos seus sonhos, tem de o fazer também com as pessoas importantes para ela. 

At first glance, you might wonder why this is necessary. After all, you’re not in love with her family members but with her.

However, this way, the girl knows that you’re ready for a committed relationship.

As long as you are willing to stand in front of her dearest ones, you definitely won’t have the courage to play with her or drag her along.

Besides, a girl who is into courtship doesn’t make all of her decisions alone. In fact, she has a father or a mentor who is much more experienced than her. 

These are the people who can see the situation much more objectively. They’re not guided by the emotions they feel for you and therefore can see the bigger picture. 

Therefore, they can determine whether you’re a homem de alto valor or not. They went through all of these courtship stages and are able to determine whether you’re suitable for their daughter. 

Basically, the best thing you could do here is contact the woman’s father and ask for his permission to court her.

Tell him everything about yourself and promise him that you’ll take excellent care of his daughter. 

However, it’s important for you to already be certain that the woman wants you. Otherwise, you’ll get yourself in an uncomfortable situation if she doesn’t accept your offer but her father does. 

Planeie as suas datas em pormenor

Lately, there’s nothing strange about asking a girl to come over out of the blue.

You might be drunk and bored and you’ll just text a bunch of girls, asking them if they need company and spend the night with the first woman who gives you a positive response.

Basically, there are not that many real dates anymore. You’ll meet a girl at a club, you’ll go for a ride, grab something to eat and end up at your place.

This is another thing different in courting. If you’re wondering how to court a woman successfully, you’ll have to plan each one of your dates with special care.

Esteja mais atento às suas primeiro encontro. Investigue bem a sua personalidade e tente descobrir para onde ela gostaria de ir.

A crowded club or a sports game are not options. Instead, consider taking her to a proper restaurant where she’ll feel respected and appreciated. 

Be direct when you ask her out for the first time. Don’t invite her to ‘hang out’, like it’s something casual. Instead, tell the woman and the woman’s father that you would like to take her out to dinner.

Be precise about the time when you’ll pick her up and, more importantly, about the hour in which you’ll return home. 

When you go to get her, don’t expect her to wait for you in the middle of the street. Instead, knock on the door and introduce yourself to her family.

This way, they’ll be certain that she is in good hands and that they have nothing to worry about. 

Also, when you’re taking her home, don’t forget to escort her to the front door. Kiss her hand, thank her for the great time you had and say hi to her family once more.

They’ll all see that you’re a man of good manners and will be impressed by your behavior.

Se o seu primeiro encontro é jantar num restaurante, tenha uma ideia diferente para o próximo jantar. Use a sua imaginação e planeie tudo cuidadosamente.

No matter whether you’re in a long-term relationship or not, please, never pick her up just to ask her where she wants to go or if she has any suggestions.

You’re the one courting her and it’s your job to win her over. 

Bem, esta é uma forma infalível de o fazer de forma mais eficiente. 

Cortejá-la em locais públicos

Independentemente do tipo de encontro que escolher, certifique-se sempre de que é num ambiente de grupo. 

At first, you can even go on double dates with her friends. This way, you’ll show her that you’re interested in her life, that the people who matter to her are important to you as well. 

Para além disso, vai aliviar a tensão. Ela sentir-se-á mais confortável ao vê-lo à frente de outras pessoas antes de o conhecer melhor.

Além disso, isto é crucial porque lhe dá a oportunidade de provar que as suas intenções são honestas e que quer um compromisso sério e uma relação a longo prazo. 

When you go out in public places, she won’t suspect that you’re hiding her from the rest of the world. You’re obviously available for a serious relationship and there are no obstacles to your partnership. 

Abster-se de demasiado afeto físico

Outra diferença significativa entre namorar e cortejar reside no afeto físico. Quem gosta de namorar está habituado a primeiro beijo que acontece no primeiro encontro ou mesmo no momento em que se conhecem. 

Sleeping together is also not strange. You don’t have to be in a serious relationship to wake up next to your partner. 

However, courtship doesn’t work that way. In fact, it is usually reserved for more conservative people who abstain from too much physical affection.

What you need to have in mind is that in this scenario, you’ll be getting the whole package. Don’t expect to get a girl’s body without her mind and heart as well. 

Some couples wait to kiss or to be intimate until they’re certain that they’re in a relação séria.

They spend some time getting to know each other and wait until they’re completely sure about their emotions. 

They don’t sleep around and they don’t even put themselves in the way of temptation to do so. In fact, they connect the urge to be intimate with their feelings. 

What I’m trying to say here is that the girl you’re courting won’t even find you attractive unless she really falls in love with you.

She may consider you a handsome man but she won’t have the urge to hug you or hold you in her arms until she grows to love you. 

On the other hand, some couples save their first kiss for their wedding day. This way, they’re certain that the only person they ever share something physical with is their spouse. 

Either way, the important thing here is to respect the woman’s physical boundaries and demand her to do the same. Actually, it’s all a part of your mutual agreement. 

Whatever you do, make sure not to push the woman too hard. Don’t pressure her into doing something she’s not ready for.

Also, don’t forget to be careful about your linguagem corporal. Se os dois concordaram numa coisa, a pior coisa que podem fazer é aproveitar todas as oportunidades para quebrar esse acordo.

Don’t sit too near her, don’t use every chance you get to touch her and don’t try to kiss her if you decided to wait for your first kiss.

Tudo isto pode parecer demasiado complicado para si, mas confie em mim, esta é uma forma fantástica de conhecer a sua pessoa para sempre. 

De facto, existem numerosos histórias de sucesso de homens que também tentaram descobrir como cortejar uma mulher e se perguntaram se isto era a coisa certa para eles. 

Just follow these steps and I assure you that you’ll be more than content with the result.