7 consequências nefastas de perseguir um homem que não quer ser apanhado

Have you ever found yourself running after a man who clearly doesn’t want you? After a man who can never give you what you want and who will never love you enough?

If you have, you’ll be well aware of how painful this situation can be. It’s not that you end up heartbroken–your ego is ruined, as well.

However, besides this pain, chasing a guy who doesn’t want to get caught brings numerous other long lasting consequences. Here are seven of them.

1. O seu sentido de valor próprio desaparece

The first consequence of chasing a guy who doesn’t want to be yours, is that you lose all sense of your self value.

You can’t help but take this man’s rejection personally and after a while, you convince yourself that there is something wrong with you.

You wonder why the man you are into can’t love you and doesn’t want you. What do you need to change about yourself to become more appealing and attractive to him?

After all, you’ve done everything in your power to win him over.

You’ve put in maximum effort and given him your best self but even so, he hasn’t had the decency to choose you.

So, you come to the conclusion that you’re não é suficiente para ele.

You don’t know whether it’s your looks, your character, or something else but the bottom line is that you’re missing something and all your efforts can’t seem to compensate for it.

Consequentemente, perde a sua autoestima e começa a encontrar defeitos na sua aparência e personalidade, tentando encontrar a causa da indiferença dele.

Not only that–you also go as far as comparing yourself to all the other girls around him. What do they have that you don’t?

RELACIONADO: Pára de o perseguir e vê o que acontece (6 coisas incríveis)

2. Sente-se esgotado

Depois de algum tempo a correr atrás de um homem que nunca a quis em primeiro lugar, é natural sentir-se cansada e emocionalmente esgotada.

It’s like the chase and all of the mind games you’ve been trying to play have gotten the best of you.

They’ve taken away your energy and sucked the life out of you, leaving you completely drained and empty.

You feel like you’ve just gotten out of a war–and this is exactly what this was: a battle which you didn’t have the slightest chance of winning.

Naturally, this experience has changed you. It’s turned you into a negative and bitter person who has lost her optimism and will to live.

O pior é que todo este esforço foi em vão. Investiu tanto de si para acabar por não obter nada.

Na verdade, conseguiu perder-se a si próprio e a visão positiva que tinha do mundo. E, definitivamente, não foi para isso que se inscreveu e não era isso que esperava.

3. You have relationship problems with someone you’re not in a relationship with

Entre outras coisas, a consequência mais prejudicial é, sem dúvida, ter problemas de relacionamento with someone you’re not in an actual relationship with.

Na verdade, está numa espécie de situação indefinida, uma quase relação, ou o que quer que lhe queira chamar.

Either way, the point is that you have the arguments, the jealous outbursts, the anxiety when he doesn’t respond to your texts. You have the lack of trust, understanding, and compromise.

I won’t lie to you–some of these things also happen in real relationships. Not all the time, but even if they do, it’s not the end of the world and a couple will work to overcome them.

Every relationship has its negative sides. Nevertheless, sometimes, it’s worth putting up with them because of all the good things your romance brings.

No final do dia, tens uma pessoa que te ama e respeita, e alguém que sabes que nunca te abandonará.

No entanto, quando se trata da sua relação de situação, as coisas são bastante diferentes. Tem problemas de relacionamento e todos os aspectos negativos de um romance sem os positivos.

E isso é uma treta!

4. Torna-se inseguro

Another dangerous consequence of chasing a guy who doesn’t want to be caught is the inseguranças que provoca.

Without even planning it, you apply your overthinking state of mind to everyone–not just to your almost boyfriend.

It is perfectly normal to have lost your trust in everyone and not believe in anyone’s intentions anymore. You are convinced that everyone is out to get you and wants to hurt you.

Moreover– you overthink your every move, in constant fear of making a mistake and doing something wrong.

Without even being aware of it, you’ve become a people pleaser and you’ve started walking on eggshells around everyone because you are afraid that they will also think of you as not enough and reject you the same way this guy did.

É claro que não há nada de errado em pensar bem nas coisas antes de as pôr em prática.

No entanto, há uma grande diferença entre ser sensato e cuidadoso e analisar e dissecar todos os seus passos antes de os dar.

5. Perde muitas oportunidades

You’re someone who can only focus on one guy at a time.

You don’t give a damn whether he’s worthy of your attention or whether he is giving you any positive feedback–when you love a man, you have eyes only for him.

This is a great quality when you’re in a relationship with someone who is also one hundred percent loyal, faithful, and devoted.

On the other hand, when you’re the apenas um a tentar tentadora e carinhosa, esta caraterística pode ter consequências nefastas.

Sabes, enquanto andavas atrás desse homem que nunca quis saber de ti, perdeste muitas boas oportunidades.

Houve inúmeros rapazes simpáticos que tentaram aproximar-se de si, mas você não reparou porque era cega.

Even though you’re not actually taken, this is exactly how you behave: as if you were in a serious relationship, when you should be putting yourself out there.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not advising you to deliberately enter a rebound relationship, I’m just begging you to at least take into consideration someone who deserves you.

6. Sente-se ansioso numa relação

Depois das muitas desilusões que este homem lhe fez passar, é natural que acabe por ter ansiedade na relação.

You assume that every time you give it a shot with someone new, it will always be the same: you’ll find yourself begging for love from a man who keeps pushing you away while simultaneously giving you just enough false hope to keep you around.

Assim, em vez de tentar algo novo, constrói muros à volta do seu coração.

Of course, this doesn’t happen right away and you’re probably unaware of it at this point, but when you fall out of love with this douchebag and think you’re ready to give love another shot, it will hit you.

You’ll realize that, as much as you try, you’re unable to relax and give your entire self.

You’ll become overly careful and terrified of romantic relationships because you won’t see a chance for any of them to work out.

Se isto é algo com que se identifica, tenha em mente que nem toda a gente é como o seu quase ex.

As much as it’s scary to lower your guard, there are men out there who are worthy of the risk.

7. Perde tempo

When you first fall in love with a man who doesn’t want you back, you don’t see it as a big deal.

You think you’ll try to win him over once or twice before you give up on him and forget he ever existed.

However, things don’t work that way. Before you know it, you find yourself trapped in a seemingly endless circle of his rejections and realize that nothing has gone the way you planned.

O pior é que, sem que se dê conta, o tempo passa num piscar de olhos. E as suas emoções intensificam-se nesse processo, em vez de desaparecerem.

Acaba por anos de desperdício em alguém que nunca mereceu um minuto do seu tempo. Anos que podia e devia ter investido noutra coisa.

Quantas vezes passaste o tempo a pensar nele, quando podias estar a dormir tranquilamente?

Quantas lágrimas, quanta energia e esforço deitou fora, sem a possibilidade de as recuperar?

And most importantly–how many years do you plan on wasting, waiting for a miracle which will never come?

I bet even you don’t know the answer. So, why exactly do you keep on doing this to yourself?