A mãe trabalhadora conta-nos como é conciliar as responsabilidades familiares e profissionais

A minha vida mudou radicalmente quando tive o meu filho. Não tinha tempo para nada. Days revolved around satisfying the baby’s needs – I would be happy if I could find time to wash my hair.

Lembrei-me dos dias em que éramos só nós os dois, o meu marido e eu, e couldn’t figure out how I had a hard time organizing my schedule before I had kids. Como me atrevi a pensar que estava ocupado e cansado!

Ser pai ou mãe é um trabalho a tempo inteiro. Quando se acrescenta outro trabalho a tempo inteiro ao nosso horário diário, fica-se envolvido num turbilhão de inúmeras responsabilidades.

I’ve been exhausted for years trying to espremer tantas coisas em 24 horas. That’s why I get so frustrated and on the edge of tears every time one of my single colleagues shows a lack of understanding for my behavior at the office.

Porque é que as mães têm um horário apertado?

Depois de um dia muito difícil no trabalho, quando o meu chefe me disse que eu parecia distraída, cheguei a casa a sentir-me muito em baixo. Quando os meus filhos estavam a dormir Senti-me desesperada e tentei ver se mais alguém sentia o mesmo que eu.

Google led me to Jamie Johnson’s blogue onde eu podia ler sobre os desafios diários que enfrenta como mãe trabalhadora.

She’s a mother of two boys and she’s sharing her experience in balancing her private and work life. Esta mulher conta a minha história!

Uma das publicações do blogue contém uma compilação divertida de os seus pensamentos relativamente a determinadas situações no escritório. Ela começa a explicar porque é que não pode fazer horas extraordinárias:

“Please stop judging me for leaving the office at exactly 5 pm, but my kids are waiting to be picked up from the sitter”

Sim, as pessoas sem filhos esquecem-se de que as amas e as creches têm horas de fecho e que se espera que cheguemos a horas para ir buscar os nossos filhos. Poucas vezes me atrasei e eles não ficaram satisfeitos com isso. Os horários de abertura também estão a influenciar a nossa capacidade de chegar ao trabalho a horas:

“I know I was late today, but I can’t drop the baby off at daycare until 7:45 am.”

Será que falhamos como mães se trabalharmos a tempo inteiro?

When our babies are sick we become so worried that it blurs out our mental capabilities and attention span. I feel guilty for being at the office while feeling it was necessary to take the kid to the doctor immediately. “Am I a good mother?” – one of the questions that pops up occasionally.

“I know that I seem distracted, because I am distracted. I have a sick toddler and I am waiting to find out when I can get him into the pediatrician.”

Feeling so overwhelmed with all the emotions my son passes on to me on a daily basis, plus all the usual stress at work, boy it all makes me so edgy sometimes so I don’t notice if my verbal or written communication sounds wrong. This is a great example and I can fully empathize:

“I didn’t mean for my email to seem snippy, but I have a five-year old that cried this morning because he didn’t want to go to school, and I am worried about him.”

Caros empregadores, por favor, tenham compaixão!

Quando, durante a entrevista inicial, o meu o empregador confirmou que é um ambiente de trabalho amigo das mães senti-me como se tivesse ganho a lotaria. That was the main thing I was looking for in a company I would work for – to have understanding and flexibility for my family and the kids-related responsibilities.

Jamie escreveu um agradecimento maravilhoso aos seus antigos patrões:

“Thank you to every boss that has let me leave for doctor’s appointments, unexpected sicknesses, preschool graduations and school lunches.”

I caught myself working harder than my coworkers as I felt guilty for coming and leaving at the exact time of stated working hours. That’s why I almost cried over this:

“I understand that you feel like you need to overcompensate because you get to work just on time and leave the minute the clock strikes five.”

If you’re worried about how work will affect your kids and feel torn between your personal life and work duties read what Jamie has to say about it (while hugging my son I can say I fully agree!):

“You don’t have to choose between two worlds that you love. You can have them both. You can have a family and a career. It’s not easy, but it is possible.”

If you’re a working mom you’ll easily identify with all that Jamie wrote. Many women surely do! Have a look at some of the supportive comments on her post:

“I’m a full-time mom also, which means I have TWO full-time jobs. Coming home from work is just walking into another career. Like you, I’m just thankful that there are some people out here who have operated with grace over the years. Luckily, I think most people understand how chaotic having little kids can be.”

Este comentário dá-lhe uma ideia de como as expectativas elevadas colocam as mães que trabalham num ritmo seriamente agitado:

“I love this thank you letter sooo much!!! Thank YOU for sharing. As womxn we ALL juggle way too much, thanks to a go go more more culture and patriarchal work environments that are asking us to prove ourselves daily. Prove you’re smart enough, committed enough, work hard enough, focused enough. Don’t rest, admit weakness, show outside interests, show health problems, family troubles, mental health stuff. Just be a committed cog and do your best every moment of a 50+ hr week.”

Some of the comments, however, proved why it’s important to share stories like this as some people show an upsetting lack of understanding, such as this one:

“Do your job and don’t leave your slack for others. I don’t expect you to cover for my leftovers, learn everything for me from the meetings I missed, or reschedule around my outside life. Why should anyone have to cover for your life choices?”