Una mamma lavoratrice racconta come ci si sente a destreggiarsi tra le responsabilità familiari e lavorative

La mia vita è cambiata radicalmente quando ho avuto mio figlio. Non avevo tempo per nulla. Days revolved around satisfying the baby’s needs – I would be happy if I could find time to wash my hair.

Mi sono ricordata di quei giorni in cui eravamo solo noi due, il mio maritino ed io, ed ho couldn’t figure out how I had a hard time organizing my schedule before I had kids. Come ho osato pensare di essere occupato e stanco!

Essere genitori è un lavoro a tempo pieno. Quando si aggiunge un altro lavoro a tempo pieno alla propria agenda quotidiana, si finisce in un vortice di innumerevoli responsabilità.

I’ve been exhausted for years trying to di fare così tante cose in 24 ore. That’s why I get so frustrated and on the edge of tears every time one of my single colleagues shows a lack of understanding for my behavior at the office.

Perché le mamme hanno tempi stretti?

Dopo una giornata molto dura al lavoro, quando il mio manager mi ha detto che sembravo distratta, sono tornata a casa sentendomi così giù. Quando i miei figli dormivano Mi sono sentita disperata e ho cercato di capire se qualcun altro si sentiva come me.

Google led me to Jamie Johnson’s blog dove ho potuto leggere sulle sfide quotidiane che deve affrontare come mamma lavoratrice.

She’s a mother of two boys and she’s sharing her experience in balancing her private and work life. Questa donna racconta la mia storia!

Uno dei post del blog contiene una divertente compilazione di i suoi pensieri riguardo a certe situazioni in ufficio. Inizia a spiegare perché non può fare gli straordinari:

“Please stop judging me for leaving the office at exactly 5 pm, but my kids are waiting to be picked up from the sitter”

Già, le persone senza figli dimenticano che le babysitter e gli asili nido hanno orari di chiusura e ci si aspetta che arrivino puntuali a prendere i nostri figli. Poche volte sono arrivata in ritardo e loro non erano contenti. Gli orari di apertura influenzano anche la nostra capacità di arrivare al lavoro in orario:

“I know I was late today, but I can’t drop the baby off at daycare until 7:45 am.”

Falliamo come mamme se lavoriamo a tempo pieno?

When our babies are sick we become so worried that it blurs out our mental capabilities and attention span. I feel guilty for being at the office while feeling it was necessary to take the kid to the doctor immediately. “Am I a good mother?” – one of the questions that pops up occasionally.

“I know that I seem distracted, because I am distracted. I have a sick toddler and I am waiting to find out when I can get him into the pediatrician.”

Feeling so overwhelmed with all the emotions my son passes on to me on a daily basis, plus all the usual stress at work, boy it all makes me so edgy sometimes so I don’t notice if my verbal or written communication sounds wrong. This is a great example and I can fully empathize:

“I didn’t mean for my email to seem snippy, but I have a five-year old that cried this morning because he didn’t want to go to school, and I am worried about him.”

Cari datori di lavoro, abbiate compassione!

Quando durante il colloquio iniziale il mio il datore di lavoro ha confermato di essere un ambiente di lavoro favorevole alle mamme mi sono sentita come se avessi vinto alla lotteria. That was the main thing I was looking for in a company I would work for – to have understanding and flexibility for my family and the kids-related responsibilities.

Jamie ha scritto una meravigliosa gratitudine ai suoi ex capi:

“Thank you to every boss that has let me leave for doctor’s appointments, unexpected sicknesses, preschool graduations and school lunches.”

I caught myself working harder than my coworkers as I felt guilty for coming and leaving at the exact time of stated working hours. That’s why I almost cried over this:

“I understand that you feel like you need to overcompensate because you get to work just on time and leave the minute the clock strikes five.”

If you’re worried about how work will affect your kids and feel torn between your personal life and work duties read what Jamie has to say about it (while hugging my son I can say I fully agree!):

“You don’t have to choose between two worlds that you love. You can have them both. You can have a family and a career. It’s not easy, but it is possible.”

If you’re a working mom you’ll easily identify with all that Jamie wrote. Many women surely do! Have a look at some of the supportive comments on her post:

“I’m a full-time mom also, which means I have TWO full-time jobs. Coming home from work is just walking into another career. Like you, I’m just thankful that there are some people out here who have operated with grace over the years. Luckily, I think most people understand how chaotic having little kids can be.”

Questo commento vi darà un'idea di come le aspettative elevate mettano le mamme lavoratrici in un ritmo davvero frenetico:

“I love this thank you letter sooo much!!! Thank YOU for sharing. As womxn we ALL juggle way too much, thanks to a go go more more culture and patriarchal work environments that are asking us to prove ourselves daily. Prove you’re smart enough, committed enough, work hard enough, focused enough. Don’t rest, admit weakness, show outside interests, show health problems, family troubles, mental health stuff. Just be a committed cog and do your best every moment of a 50+ hr week.”

Some of the comments, however, proved why it’s important to share stories like this as some people show an upsetting lack of understanding, such as this one:

“Do your job and don’t leave your slack for others. I don’t expect you to cover for my leftovers, learn everything for me from the meetings I missed, or reschedule around my outside life. Why should anyone have to cover for your life choices?”