No fundo eu sabia que era hora de te deixar ir

For a long time, I wasn’t happy. I knew that something was missing. You weren’t the same. That sparkle you had in your eyes when we talked was gone.

I couldn’t help but notice it, you changed and so did your feelings. You weren’t man enough to tell me that you’d stopped loving me.

You became so cold. I couldn’t recognize you anymore. Sometimes it seemed to me like I was dating a complete stranger. I knew it was time for me to leave.

I couldn’t. I couldn’t let you go even though, deep down I knew it was time to do so.

Every time I wanted to do it, my heart would skip a beat, like it was trying to say that it still wasn’t ready.

I couldn’t go against my heart. I knew how much love for you it had carried all these years.

Quem o pode censurar? it didn’t know that you would break it num milhão de pedaços.

Eu é que sou a culpada. Fui tão ingénua ao confiar em ti e ao dar-te todo o meu coração. Tinhas o meu coração nas tuas mãos. De certa forma, permiti que o partisses.

I am so very sorry for that. I should have let you go the moment I realized that you didn’t love me in the same way. Before you broke my heart.

Now that ‘sorry’ doesn’t mean anything because the pain is here. It’s still here, it still hurts like the first day and I don’t know when it is going to stop hurting.

Honestly, sometimes I fear that it will never stop. Sometimes I’m worried about my future because what if I never gather the courage to move on?

Por vezes tenho pensamentos negros que me assustam imenso.

Just like the thought of losing you scared me once. I thought that I wouldn’t survive if I lost you.

Mas eu fiz. E sei que  Um dia hei-de seguir em frente and leave you in the past. I just need time. Time to grieve. Time to heal. Time to forgive. Time to forget…

Oh, forget. Trust me, that’s all I want right now. I want to forget everything. I want to forget you, your sweet face, and all the good things you did for me because they are making me miss you.

Estas coisas causam-me ainda mais sofrimento.

Quero esquecer todas as vezes que disseste que me amarias para o resto da tua vida e que nada nos poderia separar. Essas palavras estão gravadas no meu coração.

E o mais importante, quero esquecer o que sinto agora. Toda esta dor e raiva.

Esta desilusão e frustração. Quero esquecer tudo o que me está a impedir de seguir em frente.

I really thought that we were meant to last forever. Now it’s hard for me to accept the fact that our relationship ended. It’s hard to accept that you are no longer a part of my life.

Esperei demasiado tempo por algum tipo de sinal da tua parte. Algo que me dissesse que eu estava errada e que ainda me amavas como dantes.

Esperava mesmo que estivesse a ser paranoica e que isso passasse e voltássemos a ser felizes como antes. Que estaríamos loucamente apaixonados, como no início.

That was my mistake. I should’ve listened to my inner voice. It told me that it was time to let you go.

Diabos, estava a gritar que precisava de me salvar e a única maneira de o fazer era deixar-te ir.

Delaying the fact that I needed to let you go didn’t change anything. In fact, it even brought me greater pain.

I believed that love is the only important thing in life. But it’s not. Self-respect is also important.

E nenhum tipo de amor valerá a pena sacrificar a tua dignidade.

A minha decisão finalmente deixar-te ir foi uma mudança de vida. Admito que foi doloroso e que ainda dói, mas estou a aprender lentamente a encontrar conforto na minha própria dor.

Estou a aprender lentamente a continuar a minha vida, sem o teu amor.