As consequências do abuso emocional

Mesmo que ele usasse palavras em vez de punhos, continuava a ser um abuso.

Talvez nunca lhe tenha batido, mas as suas palavras magoaram-na mais do que qualquer bofetada na sua cara ou qualquer pontapé com a perna. E o pior é que pensavas que ele ia mudar.

You thought that you were just having a crisis in your relationship and that after some time he would figure out how much he loved you. But you know what? He never did. You were never important to him and that’s why he abused you so much. For every problem that he had in his life, you were the guilty one.

Por cada bofetada que a vida lhe dava, tu eras a culpada. Em todos os seus momentos de tristeza, estavas lá para ele te culpar.

E tu, cega de amor, aguentaste as tretas dele durante anos.

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The day when you left him was the worst one of your life because he always told you that you wouldn’t make it unless he was there. He brainwashed you and all you could see in the mirror was just a shell of the girl you had been before.

I just want you to know that I can understand how you feel. Just like you, I’ve been there. Just like you, I gave second chances. And just like you, I ended up broken and in tears. It took me some time to recover from that abuse and to settle down. But I was no longer the same me. I could still love, but Desta vez, amei de forma diferente. E isso é algo por que também passará.

Viverá constantemente num estado de alerta.

For a long time, you won’t be able to relax because you will think that every man who comes into your life will do you the same thing as your abuser. It will be hard to win you over and most of all it will be hard for you to trust people again. You will feel that something is wrong every time someone approaches you, so you will pull back.

Perguntar-se-á como se está a sair.

While you were being emotionally abused, you had the constant feeling that your partner didn’t understand your actions or your words. That made you so confused but the truth was that he was telling you to do what he thought was right.

Nunca se preocupou com os teus sentimentos e necessidades. Para ele, eras apenas uma boneca e ele era o mestre das marionetas, controlando-te como queria.

Now, after everything has finished, you will realize that people around you understand you perfectly well and that only one man couldn’t do that.

Sentirá que algo está errado consigo.

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Depois de Quando se libertar do seu agressor, sentirá que está demasiado danificada para voltar a amar alguém. Mas quando passar algum tempo com as pessoas que ama, acabará por ver que não está assim tão estragada.

É claro que terá nódoas negras emocionais, mas todas as pessoas que lutaram têm-nas. O mais importante, no fim de contas, é o facto de se ter mantido de pé e de nunca ter desistido.

Perguntar-se-á o que terá corrido mal.

Todos vítima de um abuso emocional will think about the things that she was doing in the last relationship and how they affected it. You will sometimes ask yourself if things could have been better if you’d had a different defense mechanism.

You will think about things that you did or didn’t do and you will have a constant feeling that you could have done things better. Please, stop doing this because it wasn’t your fault. Not a second of your relationship with him was your problem because your abuser was guilty of everything.

Ficará ansioso e deprimido. E, falando francamente, isto é algo por que todas as vítimas de abuso emocional passam.

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A dada altura, vai pensar que está louca, mas esse sentimento depressa se desvanecerá. A única pessoa que estava louca nessa relação era ele. Por isso, mantenha-se forte quando atravessar este período da sua vida e lembre-se de que finalmente se salvou de quem a podia ter arruinado.

Terá desconfiança nas relações futuras.

It is not that simple to give your heart to someone new, not knowing if he will hurt you like the man before him. That’s why you will look like someone who plays hard to get but inside, your world will be falling apart and you will crave the love that you need so much.

Este sentimento é uma batalha constante mas, algures ao longo do caminho, verá que nem todos os homens são iguais.

Nada no seu processo de cura será fácil.

The aftermath of emotional abuse is characterized by different behavior moods. One day you will be happy and cheerful and the next you will feel depressed and you won’t get out of bed. You will think that nobody will ever love you again because you are broken.

Terá uma onda de pensamentos negativos aqui e ali e eles ditarão a sua vida. Só depois de algum tempo verá que as coisas não são assim tão más e que há alguma esperança para si.

Desejarás não ser tão sensível.

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After any trauma, a person will feel bad. Every single comment can hurt them because they are so sensitive. This will happen to you too. Sometimes, you won’t be able to react to the simplest situation and you will just run away from all those things that make you feel like that.

You will want to be alone because in that way people won’t be able to hurt you. I just want you to know that you should take all the time in the world to heal. If you don’t like going out, don’t do it. Do things that you feel comfortable with.

You were putting up with someone’s wishes for a hell of a long time and it is time to finally put yourself first.

I know that you are an amazing person who just met a guy who ruined your life. If you could have been amazing before, I am sure that you can bring your old spark back. I won’t lie to you and tell you that the healing process will be fast; it won’t.

You will need a lot of time for yourself to fight those nasty demons of yours. You will cry yourself to sleep every night until you see that after that you will feel much better. And when you least expect it, you will meet someone who will bring you faith in love again. You just need to be patient because good things don’t happen overnight.

E o teu agressor?

You will probably never forget him. After all, he was a part of your life for a long time but all that he did to you made you the person you are today—strong, independent and definitely not ready to settle for less than she deserves.

In the end, I ask you for one thing only—forgive him for all that he did to you. Not because he deserves that forgiveness but because you deserve peace.