A questão é a seguinte: Nobody wakes up one morning and just wants their marriage to implode. You feel it in your bones before you say it out loud.
Sometimes, it’s the quiet, nagging stuff that wears you down; sometimes, it’s a single moment so sharp it splits your world. I’ve seen it, heard it, and lived close to it. Talking about why marriages collapse isn’t about blame. It’s about being real with ourselves—about the mess, the silence, the shocks, and the slow fading.
If you’re here, you’re probably staring right at some of these truths, or maybe you’re just wondering how things fall apart for so many couples every single year. Here are the sixteen most common reasons—each one a story, not just a statistic.
1. Lack of Commitment
You know that feeling when you’re the only one rowing the boat? That’s what lack of commitment feels like. One person stops showing up, piece by piece.
They skip the date nights, lose interest in the little check-ins, or just start living like roommates. Sometimes it’s not loud. It’s the absence that hurts most—the empty chair at the table, the birthday forgotten for the third time.
What nobody talks about is how lonely it gets before the end. Not angry, not explosive—just cold. The love doesn’t scream, it just vanishes into the background. You’re left asking, “Am I the only one trying?”
2. Infidelidade
The moment you see that message, or hear a name you don’t recognize, something inside you snaps. It’s like the ground underneath you suddenly isn’t safe.
Infidelity isn’t just about physical intimacy. It’s about broken trust that you can’t glue back together. You start wondering what was real and what was just a cover-up.
People think it’s about anger, but honestly, it’s more about grief. You mourn the version of your life you thought you had. Healing? That’s a mountain most couples can’t climb after a betrayal like this.
3. Communication Breakdown
Ever sat across from someone and felt like you were speaking different languages? Communication breakdown is brutal. You try to explain, but your words land wrong.
Arguments start over nothing—a forgotten errand, a careless word, the tone of a text. Each fight builds a wall that keeps getting higher. You end up tiptoeing around the truth, or just not talking at all.
It’s not the loud fights that break you. It’s the silence that does. The space where you both stop trying to be understood is the scariest place of all.
4. Money Problems
Money isn’t just about dollars and cents—it’s about power, fear, and feeling safe. Fights over spending, secrets about debt, or just never agreeing on priorities can eat away at trust.
Sometimes one person feels trapped, like they’re always bailing out the other. Other times, resentment builds because dreams get postponed again and again for “the budget.”
It’s not just the big disasters, like job loss or bankruptcy. Even small disagreements about money can become a wedge that splits a marriage wide open if you never find common ground.
5. Substance Abuse
Addiction is a thief. It sneaks in and takes your trust, your time, your peace. Loving someone with a substance problem means living with lies and broken promises.
One day, you realize you’re not fighting with your partner anymore—you’re fighting their addiction. You wake up hoping today will be different, but the cycle repeats.
You start to lose yourself. The worry, the fear, the constant walking on eggshells—eventually, you break. Sometimes leaving is the only way to save what’s left of you.
6. Domestic Violence
You never think it’ll be you. At first, the apologies come fast—the tears, the promises, the gifts. But then it happens again. And again.
Abuse isn’t always visible. Sometimes it’s words that cut, silent threats, or the constant fear of doing something wrong. Your world shrinks to avoid setting them off.
Leaving isn’t about strength or weakness. It’s about survival. No one deserves to feel unsafe in their own home. Getting out is the bravest thing you can do.
7. Marrying Too Young
They say love is blind, but sometimes it’s just young. Marrying before you really know yourself can feel like trying on shoes two sizes too small.
Life changes a lot in your twenties. The dreams you had at nineteen might not even live in the same zip code as the person you become at twenty-five.
You wake up one day and realize you’re strangers—grown in opposite directions. It’s not about blame. It’s about realizing that sometimes timing is everything.
8. Expectativas irrealistas
It starts with fairy tales and movies. The happily-ever-after feels like a promise. Then real life shows up—with dirty dishes, long days, and messy feelings.
Unrealistic expectations are sneaky. They tell you that love should always be easy or that your partner will fill every empty space inside you.
When reality doesn’t match the fantasy, disappointment can turn into distance. Real marriages need space for flaws, not just the highlights.
9. Crescer à parte
It’s not always fireworks—or fights. Sometimes, people just drift. You wake up and realize you want different things.
Careers, kids, even hobbies pull you in opposite directions. The person you laughed with every night now feels like someone else’s story.
The hardest part? There’s often no villain here. Just two good people who slowly took separate paths, until together no longer fit.
10. Falta de intimidade
Intimacy isn’t just about sex. It’s the little touches, the inside jokes, the way you lean into each other after a long day. When that fades, you start to feel invisible.
Some couples stop holding hands for no reason. Others go months without a real conversation. Silence fills the space where laughter used to live.
You miss being wanted. You miss being seen. Eventually, the loneliness is louder than anything else, and it’s hard to find your way back.
11. Health Problems
Illness changes everything. Suddenly, you’re not just spouses—you’re caretaker and patient. The routines, the plans, even the future you pictured together—all rewritten in hospital blue.
Some marriages bend under the pressure. Bills pile up, tempers snap, and exhaustion becomes a third person in the room. You start to grieve the life you lost.
It doesn’t mean there’s no love left. Sometimes, it’s too much for two people to carry. Letting go isn’t giving up—it’s accepting what you can and can’t do.
12. Interferência da família
Family can be wonderful—or absolutely impossible. In-laws who never approve, parents who meddle, siblings who keep score. Sometimes, you feel like your marriage has too many voices in the room.
It’s a balancing act. You want to honor your roots, but not at the cost of your peace at home. Every holiday turns into a battlefield or a guilt trip.
Eventually, the pressure gets too much. Instead of being partners, you’re referees. When outsiders control the script, the love story gets lost.
13. Religious Differences
It starts out as “we’ll figure it out.” Faith is personal, but it spills over into everything—how you raise kids, what holidays matter, even what you eat for dinner.
Sometimes, the differences grow sharper over time. Beliefs that used to seem minor suddenly draw hard lines. It’s not just about rituals; it’s about identity.
Love can bridge a lot, but when it comes to faith, even little cracks can split wide if both sides won’t bend. Respect alone isn’t always enough.
14. Parenting Styles Clash
Nothing tests a marriage like parenting. Do you discipline or discuss? Go strict or gentle? Every decision feels like a referendum on who you are.
When you and your partner can’t agree on the basics, the tension never stops. Even bedtime feels like a test you keep failing.
The worst part? The kids feel it—even if you think they don’t. A house divided over parenting can start to feel like a war zone without a winner.
15. Unresolved Conflict
Some fights end with an apology. Others turn into cold wars that last for years. Unresolved conflict doesn’t just linger; it grows.
You start keeping score, holding grudges, memorizing every slight. The resentment becomes another member of the family—never silent, never satisfied.
Eventually, you’re not fighting for each other. You’re fighting to win. And when that happens, everyone loses.
16. Falta de apreciação
You’d be amazed how heavy the little stuff gets. Going unnoticed, feeling invisible—the quiet ache of being taken for granted builds up over time.
She does the laundry. He fixes the car. But nobody says thank you. It becomes routine, not partnership. You stop feeling like teammates.
Somewhere along the way, love turns into obligation. The moment you realize you don’t matter? That’s the one that finally breaks your heart.