15 coisas que nunca deves fazer por um homem, por mais louca que estejas por ele

I once had a friend I literally couldn’t recognize after one year. If she passed by me on the street, I wouldn’t realize it was her unless someone told me. And we’ve been friends for years!

It’s not only her appearance that suddenly changed, but also her behavior, opinions, and values she considered really important. We would talk to each other and I would think to myself, who is this person?!

And no, she didn’t go through some major change in her life or decide she wanted to be a completely different person. She just had a crazy boyfriend. Yes, you heard that right.

O amor leva-nos a fazer coisas estranhas. Acabei de me aperceber que também me perdi completamente numa relação em que estava perdidamente apaixonada.

Agora, quando olho para trás, Lamento muitas things I’ve done for him, but I’m not afraid to admit it. Figured I’d share my mistakes so at least you can learn from them.

Por isso, oiçam-me com atenção! Nunca, e quero dizer NUNCA:

1. Mudar a sua aparência

He thinks you should lose some weight or gain a couple of pounds? If you’re happy with yourself the way you are, then don’t change for him! Estas são as coisas que só deve fazer para si próprio para que te possas sentir bem.

O mesmo se aplica a tudo o resto, da cabeça aos pés. Ele gosta de cabelo comprido e louro? Então leve-o ao cabeleireiro e ele pode fazer o penteado que quiser, em si próprio!

2. Abandonar os amigos

A real man knows you need to have lives outside of your relationship. Being together 24/7 is not good for anyone! If you leave all your friends, then who’ll listen to your drama namorado/marido e dar-vos sessões de terapia gratuitas? 

Provavelmente conheces as tuas filhas há mais tempo do que ele. Os amigos são uma parte inevitável das nossas vidas. They always support us and they’ve been there for us through our every relationship and heartbreak. Don’t leave them for a man you’re not even sure is the one.

3. Sacrificar o seu bem-estar

When you’re feeling good and healthy, you immediately have more energy to put into other things, like your relationship.

O seu bem-estar deve ser sempre a sua prioridade número um e vêm antes de tudo e de todos. Se perderes a sanidade ou mesmo a saúde física, nada mais importa.

You shouldn’t feel like you’re walking on eggshells around him. Your man needs to make your life easier, and always aim to make you feel happy, safe, and satisfied.

4. Aceitar menos do que merece

I think we’ve all been there – settling for some fast food place when in reality we wanted to dine in some fancy restaurant. Well, don’t do this when it comes to your partners!

Has he ever told you you’re too much to handle? If yes, the only right thing to do is deixem-no encontrar alguém do seu nível. E tu, querida, devias atirar para as estrelas.

Sometimes we desperately want to be loved, so much we’re ready to give up on our standards just so we’re not alone on a Friday night. But you and I both know this isn’t the right thing to do.

5. Troca a tua liberdade 

Se fosses um pássaro, trocarias a tua liberdade por uma pequena gaiola? Claro que não! Então, porque é que o faria por um homem?

Love shouldn’t feel like a federal prison. Um verdadeiro homem nunca te impedirá de viver a tua vidaexplorar a sua paixão, ou fazer o que lhe apetecer.

The first time he tries to stop you from going out with your friends or wearing that dress you love…girl, just leave and don’t look back.

6. Permitir comportamentos violentos e desrespeitosos

Imagine que a sua amiga vem ter consigo a chorar, dizendo que o namorado lhe levantou a mão ou mesmo apenas a voz. Sei que lhe dirias para fazer as malas e ir embora! 

I don’t think we even need to explain this, but you should nunca justificar este comportamento, aconteça o que acontecer! Esta é mais uma razão para ter amigos a quem se pode telefonar a meio da noite, se necessário.

Se alguma vez se encontrarem nesta situação, corram pela vossa vida. Esta é a única decisão correcta.

7. Esquece quem és

I’m definitely guilty of this. I remember myself being full of life with an adventurous spirit and ambitions through the roof before I met him. I loved him madly and he was scared of my potential, so I made myself smaller to fit into his mold.

God, I was so stupid. And the worst thing? It’s absolutely never worth the guy you’re doing this for. Sê sempre autêntico e verdadeiro contigo mesmo!

When you lose the things that make you who you are, it’s so easy to lose everything else without realizing it.

8. Deixar os seus passatempos

Have you always loved to silence the world while you’re painting or get your frustrations out by going to the gym? Well, what changed?

Os nossos passatempos e paixões são o que nos mantém vivos and bring happiness to our lives. We can’t throw everything away just because we are also committing our time to someone else.

The fact you’re in a relationship with someone doesn’t mean you have to become the same person. If he loves lazy Sundays and watching football, but you prefer to go out in nature, tu és tu, rapariga! 

9. Desistir dos seus objectivos

Lembras-te dos teus sonhos antes de o conheceres? Querias tirar o curso, viajar pelo mundo e começar o teu próprio negócio. Adivinha? Ainda podes fazer tudo aquilo com que sempre sonhaste!

You don’t have a child you have to dedicate 100% of your time, damn it. Although men sometimes do act like kids. But that’s a story for another time. 

Um verdadeiro homem encorajá-la-á a seguir a sua paixão and he’ll be happy to support all your goals even if that’s not something he would do. But your life is your life only. Do what makes you happy!

10. Silencia a tua voz

Don’t hold back your opinions just because he might not agree with you. A healthy relationship means you can agree to disagree and still love each other. 

As vossas opiniões são importantes e os vossos sentimentos são válidos. Nunca deixes que ninguém te diga outra coisa. E se o fizerem, bem, já sabes o que fazer.

Love can be a beautiful thing when you’re with the right person who loves you exactly as you are.

Aquela coisa que o incomoda e que ele quer que mude, alguém procura em cada pessoa que conhece. Há 8 biliões de pessoas no mundo, acredita em mim, you’ll find someone who will appreciate every part of you.

11. Apologize for things that aren’t your fault

Look, we’ve all been there—saying “sorry” just to keep the peace. But if you start apologizing for things that aren’t your fault, it’s a slippery slope. Before you know it, you’re apologizing for having emotions, for needing support, for existing.

A man who truly loves you won’t make you feel guilty for expressing your feelings or having boundaries.

Os seus sentimentos são tão válidos como os dele, e uma relação deve ser uma via de dois sentidos, não uma viagem de culpa.

12. Arranjar desculpas para o seu mau comportamento

Oh, he’s just stressed. He had a tough childhood. He’s going through a lot right now. Sound familiar? I used to be the rainha da justificação do mau comportamento, but at the end of the day, we’re all responsible for our own actions.

If he treats you poorly, that’s on him—not on his past, not on his job, not on you. The moment you find yourself constantly making excuses for him, take a step back and ask yourself: Would he do the same for you? Or would he just call you “too emotional”?

13. Mudar as suas crenças para corresponder às dele

One minute, you’re standing firm in what you believe in. The next, you’re nodding along to his opinions even though they make your stomach turn. Não, rapariga. Apenas não.

It’s okay to have different opinions, but it’s not okay to erase yours just to avoid conflict. If you have to reshape your entire belief system to keep him around, then he’s not with tu—he’s with a version of you that he created. And that’s not love.

14. Deixa-o controlar o teu dinheiro

This one’s tricky because relationships often involve shared expenses. But if he’s deciding what you should spend, how much you can save, or questioning every little purchase, that’s a red flag the size of a football field.

Your financial independence matters. Even if you’re in a relationship, you should always have control over your own money. You work hard for it, and no one gets to dictate how you use it.

15. Perder a sua independência

Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you stop being an individual. YTinhas uma vida antes dele e deves continuar a ter uma vida com ele.

If he gets upset when you do things on your own—whether that’s taking a solo trip, making a big decision, or even just going out without him—he’s not looking for a partner, he’s looking for control. A man who truly loves you will celebrate your independence, not try to take it away.