5 coisas a fazer quando um homem emocionalmente indisponível continua a voltar

Ultrapassar um homem emocionalmente indisponível é difícil. Especialmente quando esse homem emocionalmente indisponível está sempre a voltar.

Let’s be real here. When you start a new relationship, you don’t expect it to end.

You always hope that he is going to be the one for you, that he’s going to show you that love is worth fighting for.

And then, he shows you that he’s just another fucktard you fell hopelessly in love with.

How do you move on from that? You know that he’s not the one, you know that he screwed you over and over again, but hope is what breaks you every single time you think of him.

Ainda te lembras de como ele era fantástico quando se conheceram, ainda sentes o sabor dos seus lábios nos teus e ainda esperas que ele volte.

Mas o que se passa é que os homens emocionalmente indisponíveis precisam de tomar essa decisão por si próprios.

No one can force them to change and grow up. No one can make them change except themselves. And that’s the sucky part.

Então, e agora? Como é que se avança corretamente de uma relação em que se sentia como se fosse a única pessoa que amava, em que se sentia como se estivesse a gritar para uma parede de tijolo e nada acontecia?

Até acredita que a parede tinha mais emoções do que a sua ex.

Como é que se pode sair de uma relação em que se deu o melhor de si e só se ganhou dor e frustração em troca?

Let’s break it into a few parts. Firstly, we need to know what the hell he is going to do.

Vai fazer-se de vítima, provocar-te ciúmes, esfregar-te tudo na cara ou vai entregar-te o pacote completo?

Then, it’s important to know how to react and what to do. Spoiler alert: it involves the no contact rule.

Aqui estão 5 coisas que os homens emocionalmente indisponíveis fazem depois de uma separação:

Fazer-se de vítima

He will go around telling the story of how you’re the bad guy and he did nothing except love you the best way he knew.

He will tell that story to anyone with a set of ears and tits. Poor lad, he did nothing wrong and you ended it out of the blue. He’s simply doing this so he can keep his reputation.

In this case, he has no intention of winning you back, instead he’s trying to make you snap and confirm his story.

The best thing you can do here is ignoring all of it. You and your friends know the truth and that’s all that matters.

Sabes que fizeste o teu melhor e nada aconteceu. Sabes que tentaste mas ele recusou-se a fazer o mesmo.

So, don’t give him the pleasure of winning once more. Ignore his lying ass and let those poor girls find out the truth the hard way. They won’t believe you anyway, even if you told them, he’s that good at his games.

Apertando seus botões com ciúmes

Ele vai esfregar a nova namorada na sua cara até começar a deixá-la louca e, quando lhe enviar uma mensagem a perguntar sobre isso, ele vai calmamente informá-la de que a vossa relação acabou.

You two have nothing to talk about, you moved on and so did he. He will make you wonder what the hell is the truth and what’s not.

Let me tell you, happy, grown-up people don’t fuck over their exes.

They don’t play games and parade around with their new arm candy. And you know that he’s doing exactly that.

Give yourself a break and let him play all the games he wants. You’re better off without him anyway. Embrace your single life and this new opportunity life gave you.

Recuperação

Passar para o próximo conjunto de órgãos necessários para aumentar o seu pequeno ego não é mais do que uma necessidade para ele.

You see, if he doesn’t find someone soon enough to boost his confidence, he needs to face the hell he put you through and actually think about his actions for a second. And that’s something he’s not familiar with. Thus, rebounding.

Se a isto juntarmos os jogos de ciúmes, temos um vencedor! Um homem emocionalmente imaturo que poderia envergonhar o Barney Stinson.

Consider yourself lucky here, you dodged a bullet in a way. It doesn’t mean it hurts less but it means that life gave you lemons for you to make a whiskey sour.

Disclaimer: Alcohol is not the answer but it sure as hell helps to solve some of life’s mysteries. Or create new ones. It’s fun, either way.

Amigos com benefícios

Sabes o que ele quer quando te pede para continuarem amigos. Ele quer todos os benefícios da relação, menos o compromisso. Querida, tu mereces mais do que isso.

You deserve more than being someone’s backup plan and safety net. And you deserve more than to be his late-night booty call.

Esta depende de ti. Se conseguires ser amiga dele, sem toda esta merda benéfica, força.

Nem toda a gente é igual e nem toda a gente precisa dos mesmos passos para se curar.

Maybe you need to be close to him to remind yourself every day that you’re better off without him.

Ou precisa que ele desapareça da face da terra. Mas, faças o que fizeres, lembra-te de te colocares a ti e às tuas necessidades em primeiro lugar. Também mereces ser feliz.

Exibicionismo

He goes off the radar for a while and all of a sudden he’s traveling the world, starting a successful business and he’s Instagramming the shit out of it all.

I mean, if he wasn’t that much into social media before, think a bit about the reason behind this new-found social media love.

I think you already know the answer. The reason behind all of this is to show you that he’s so much better than you are.

Maybe what he did to you and the way he hurt you affected his ego and shook his world for a bit but have no fear—he’s back on his feet again.

Ele precisa de ser o melhor, precisa de ter as melhores raparigas à sua volta, o melhor carro e esfregar tudo isso na sua cara.

It’s his way of telling you that he has moved on and there’s no chance in hell you will ever get back together.

A solução para isto? A regra do não contacto. Bloqueie-o em todas as redes sociais, apague as fotografias dele do seu telemóvel e faça o seu melhor para o ignorar.

But don’t forget to remind yourself every single day that you are amazing and worthy and the fiercest human being out there. You swam oceans of your sadness and you conquered hell. He’s nothing compared to that.

Lembre-se de que um homem emocionalmente indisponível nunca voltará a rastejar para si.

Ele é um mestre da manipulação e vai fazer com que vás ter com ele, com todos estes jogos de ciúmes, de exibição, de reação e de amizade.

The whole idea is that you see only the best of him, which is supposed to make you miss him like crazy. And the worst part? It actually works. When we’re in love, we’re not thinking clearly. And he knows it.

Então, aqui estão 5 coisas a fazer quando o seu homem emocionalmente indisponível está sempre a voltar:

Ficar fora de alcance

 

Tell him that you’re done and show him. Every time he calls you, show him you’re not there for him.

Every time he wants to make you jealous, show him that you don’t care.

Pretend that he’s no longer there and when it’s necessary to acknowledge his existence, give him an Academy Award-winning smile. Make sure that you are out of reach of him, from his games and toxic love.

Lembra-te que nunca foste tu

A culpa nunca foi tua. A incapacidade dele de se comprometer e de se manter fiel não tem nada a ver consigo.

Deste o teu melhor, esforçaste-te ao máximo para que esta relação resultasse.

And sometimes, it just doesn’t. Because it takes two for love and you were the only one working on it.

And every time he comes back to you, asking for a second chance or driving you crazy with his mind games, remind yourself that you’re better than that. Remind yourself that his immature ass doesn’t deserve your time.

Ignorar os aspectos positivos e acreditar nos negativos

I’ve been there, where you are now. Always thinking about the good times we had together and all the times he made me feel like I was the most amazing woman out there. Like I was the only one for him and the world was at our feet.

Mas o facto é que nunca foi assim. Eu nunca fui a única para ele e nunca houve um futuro para partilharmos.

And it wasn’t until I realized the true nature of our relationship that I was able to move on.

If you are sure you don’t want him in your life anymore, focus on the negatives. Focus on all the times you stared at an empty screen, waiting for his message.

Concentra-te em todas as vezes que ele te enganou, nas vezes em que te prometeu o mundo e não te deu nada. Vê-o como ele é, não como a pessoa que ele fingia ser.

Don’t put yourself at his beck and call and keep the no contact rule

When you’re involved with an emotionally unavailable man, the thing is that you control your role.

At first, you don’t know who he is and you give him everything, because that’s just how you love.

But later on, once you see him for who he is, it’s incredibly important for you to change that role.

Cut him off and don’t go running to him the moment he calls you. I get it, you still love him and you want to help him but you need to help yourself first!

And that’s exactly why keeping the no contact rule is essential for you to move on.

It’s the only way that you can show him loud and clear that you have moved on and you’re no longer up for his games and manipulations. It’s time for him to look for another victim because you ain’t one.

Torne-se a mulher que sempre admirou

Aquela mulher espantosa e forte que não deixa que ninguém lhe retire o seu valor. A mulher que mantém a sua posição, independentemente do que a vida lhe atira. A mulher que tem todas as cartas nas suas mãos e sabe como as dar.

Guess what? You are already that woman. Just because you fell, it doesn’t mean you’re no longer her.

Just because you believed and hoped, it doesn’t mean you’re not badass and fierce.

And just because you loved the wrong man, it doesn’t mean you’re less of a badass woman.

You may lose your ground for a second but you know where you stand. Don’t ever let anyone convince you otherwise!