8 coisas que acontecem quando se conhece um bom rapaz depois de uma relação tóxica

The biggest problem in a toxic relationship is that you aren’t necessarily aware you are in one. You get used to mistreatment because it gradually becomes a part of your life.

There can be happy moments (when your abuser is in the ‘mood’) which make you forget those bad ones that happened and are about to happen.

As relações tóxicas são viciantes . You can’t burn that bridge because you have some kind of security. You have someone who supposedly cares for you—someone who should care for you.

But, you don’t know any better, so you stick to him.

As relações tóxicas são um desafio . You think it’s up to you to make your own happiness in this kind of a relationship.

You think things don’t fall from the sky and you think it’s your obligation to make your relationship work.

There’s no harm in trying to make things work out, but bear in mind—you have to fight for someone who is worth fighting for.

Abusers don’t deserve to be fought for.

As relações tóxicas têm tudo a ver com o medo . Most women keep thinking that being in a dysfunctional relationship is better than being single. They don’t have the courage to break free from their abusers.

Ver também: 10 sinais de que está numa relação tóxica

Mas, alguns deles fazer encontram a coragem para quebrar as correntes da sua relação abusiva, mas deparam-se com outro obstáculo.

Conhecem alguém novo e tudo o que é suposto ser normal numa relação está muito fora da sua zona de conforto. Estão habituados a ser maltratados.

Eis algumas coisas que nos podem acontecer quando conhecemos um bom rapaz depois daquele que nos fez sentir mal:

Terá espaço e apoio para aprender a gostar de si próprio

A primeira coisa a fazer é aprender a gostar de si próprio. Temos de confiar em nós próprios porque ninguém pode saber o que é bom para nós.

É a única pessoa que conhece e controla essa parte da sua vida.

Estar com um bom rapaz dar-lhe-á as condições certas para crescer e tornar-se na mulher que ama a si própria e que sabe que precisa de ser.

Depois de o ter feito, está pronto para passar à etapa seguinte.

You’ll experience unknown ‘strange’ feelings

You’ve suffered enough and now when you’ve met a good guy, grab the bull by the horns and don’t let go.

Em vez de ter medo de novos sentimentos, abrace a sua relação positiva e saudável.

All of them are supposed to be like that and that is something you aren’t ready to understand, yet.

Don’t be afraid to let yourself go because this guy will understand that you walked through hell and back.

You’ll expect the same story all over again

You’ve lost faith in people. After being treated like s**t, you are afraid you’ll be treated like that again.

When you start a new relationship you can’t shake off the feeling he is the same as the one before.

For you, it’s impossible to imagine there is someone there for you who won’t treat you badly.

You settled for a guy who doesn’t deserve you and now that you’ve experienced the opposite treatment (love that you deserve), you can’t imagine what kept you going in your toxic relationship.

You’ll overanalyze everything

Ele trata-a como merece ser tratada, mas há algo que a incomoda.

You can’t accept the fact he is behaving like that because he cares about you. You are overanalyzing stuff, looking for hidden motives.

However, there aren’t any.

Most probably, you will keep your distance and look at things from a different perspective just to reassure yourself he doesn’t want to do you any harm.

Hopefully, then, you will realize there aren’t any hidden motives and his love for you is pure and long-term.

You’ll think he’s too good to be true

You can’t get rid of the feeling something will go wrong in your relationship any moment.

You expect he will lose it. Maybe he will get rid of that ‘goodie-goodie’ mask and show his real face.

But, he stays the same—full of understanding, patience and ready to love you. There is absolutely no reason not to trust him, but your wounds haven’t healed yet. It will take time and he is aware of that.

You are waiting for the ‘perfect storm’

In toxic relationships, fights come out of nowhere. Even now, you can’t relax because you have the constant feeling that fighting is about to begin.

As lutas e os maus-tratos fazem parte do seu quotidiano e está tão habituado a isso que espera que aconteça.

You can’t understand he is not like that. He is different and you are confused because you are used to a completely different scenario.

You’ll apologize a lot

Devido aos conflitos constantes da sua relação anterior, estava habituado a pedir desculpa às pessoas a toda a hora.

You used to apologize to your partner just to calm him down and avoid conflict. You apologized for the things you did and didn’t do wrong.

Aprenderá a confiar nele

Over time, you will get used to good treatment—the treatment you deserve—and you will start to trust your guy completely.

You will realize he doesn’t want to hurt you and he never will.

Slowly, you will start showing him your vulnerable side because you’ve finally made sure he will never hurt you.

Aprenderá o que é o verdadeiro amor. A sua experiência tóxica torná-lo-á mais forte, mas depois de voltar a confiar nas pessoas.

Verás finalmente o que significa amar alguém que te ama de volta, que te merece e respeita.

Don’t give up!