25 Sinais inegáveis de que és um Mombie

Moms are truly remarkable creatures. They are always on the go and they can’t afford to slow down. Sometimes it’s like they’re Superwoman because they manage to accomplish so much in so little time.

Not to mention, wherever they go, there’s a tiny army following them EVERYWHERE. Privacy is a privilege they just can’t seem to afford. But they wouldn’t have it any other way!

They have these small, amazing creatures that somehow make everything completely worth it. As hard as it is sometimes, the look in their child’s eyes can make it all go away. They are just too precious to complain about. Somehow, things will always get done.

Being a mom is a really tiring job. You have so much on your plate, you have to wake up when they wake up and your day is filled with errands. It’s not unusual to feel like a zombie at times, or better yet, like a real mãe!

Here are the clear signs that you have crossed over to Mombieland, from which there is no return. (Just kidding, I’m sure they’ll be 18 in no time!)

1. As manhãs sem café não são uma opção. São necessárias pelo menos duas chávenas de café preto para passar a manhã. Para não falar de mais algumas ao longo do dia.

2. You don’t remember the last time you had less than 2 cups of coffee and don’t see it happening in the near future.

3. On a bad day, you’ll go through what seems like a whole gallon. Being a mombie is no joke!

4. When they nap, you nap, but somehow, you wake up even more tired. How is that even possible? I guess luck just isn’t your friend these days.

5. Lavar a loiça é a altura perfeita para te desconcentrares. Acabas literalmente num universo completamente diferente, até que os gritos da outra sala te trazem de volta à realidade.

6. Ver desenhos animados com os seus filhos é a oportunidade ideal para pôr o sono em dia. Mas os miúdos raramente o deixam. Só tens de ver tudo com eles e eles certificam-se de que o fazes sempre. Oh, que alegria.

7. Answering texts has become your worst enemy. You literally forget to get back to anyone. It’s surprising you still have friends really.

8. You often think that you texted your friend back and you could swear that you did… but then you remember that you did it in your head. That is how you communicate mostly these days.

9. Bedtime has become your favorite time. You dream of the moment they all go to sleep and the house is finally quiet. You can hear your thoughts again and have that glass of wine while watching Keeping Up With The Kardashians. What has Kim got herself into today? Let’s find out.

10. Taking your kids to their grandparents for a sleepover on Fridays has become your salvation! That is your night to just do nothing and relax. You have nobody’s needs to tend to but your own. Ahh… and it feels damn good.

11. Na maior parte das vezes, esquece-se de comer. Depois de alimentar tantas bocas ao longo do dia, esquece-se da sua própria. Cérebro de mãe.

12. When you do eat, you don’t have time to make a big deal about it, you usually eat the leftovers or some of the kids’ snacks. Who has time to eat healthily? And alone? Not you.

13. O micro-ondas é agora o teu melhor amigo. É assim que se fazem a maior parte dos almoços hoje em dia. Ou simplesmente reaquece o jantar a partir do almoço! Viva o micro-ondas.

14. You just can’t make yourself wash the dishes before bed, so you usually leave it for the following morning. And then when you see it after waking up, you hate yourself that you left it. And it happens almost every day. It’s a vicious circle.

15. You don’t have time to vacuum nearly as much as you probably should. And even when you do, you just zone out. And who can blame you really!

16. Netflix is your favorite thing ever. When the house is empty (which happens too rarely) you love bingeing on your favorite shows! It makes you forget what a mombie you’ve become.

17. Estás sempre tão cansada. Mas continuas a ficar acordado até mais tarde do que gostarias, a ver as "Real Housewives". Só tens de saber que drama está a acontecer neste momento. Mesmo que isso signifique acordar como um completo zombie.

18. You’ll stay up late doing anything for yourself, because that is literally the only time when you have time to dedicate to yourself. So you’ll risk rough mornings and you don’t know whether to hate yourself for it or keep doing it.

19. You don’t have time to be spontaneous in bed anymore with the hubby. You just have a quickie, if that. Fridays, when the kids are at Grandma’s, is when it gets spicy. Other than that, nah.

20. Adormece a fazer qualquer coisa. Seja a ver televisão, a ler um livro ou com o portátil no colo. Tornaste-te um mestre em adormecer em qualquer lugar e a qualquer hora. É preciso ter habilidade, nem toda a gente consegue fazer isso.

21. You start doing the laundry, put it in the machine, then something preoccupies you and you forget to press ‘Start’. The joys of little kids always calling your name never ceases to amaze you.

22. You really want to go on a date night with the hubby but when the time comes, all you want is to stay home, cozy under a blanket, and watch TV until you fall asleep. Getting ready seems like so much work and you just don’t feel like it.

23. Having a night for yourself has become your favorite thing in the world. You don’t feel tempted to go to parties anymore, or even for drinks. Just having some alone time and not having to interact with anybody is what you dream of. One day where it’s just you and your thoughts.

24. You can’t wait for your kids to leave for school, especially on road trips with the whole class, but when they are actually gone, you miss them! You can’t even explain it. You finally have a few hours for yourself but all you want is to curl up next to them and ask about their day.

25. You are so sleep-deprived that you don’t even know how you function but somehow, you manage to make it all work. You are amazing at fitting everything into your schedule and you’re proud of yourself for that.