5 sinais de que você acredita que ainda está apaixonada pelo seu ex (mas na verdade não está)

Don’t worry, darling. We all feel the same way.

It’s not unusual to still have feelings for someone with whom you’ve spent a certain amount of time. You still remember his scent, his touch, his voice, the sound of his footsteps and so on.

Mas tem de compreender que estes são apenas os restos da presença dele e que não têm nada a ver com o facto de ainda ter afeto por ele. Sei que, de momento, é confuso, mas estes sinais acabarão por desaparecer.

Whatever you do, don’t let them overwhelm you or confundir you to start believing that you’re still in love with him.

These are the most common deceiving signs that may confuse you to think that you’re still in love with him (but believe me, you’re not):

1. You don’t want him to meet somebody else

This is the biggest misconception and it occurs at the very start of the break-up. You think you still love him just because you don’t want him to be with somebody else.

You still have that part of you saying that you’re his and only his and him being with another woman is cheating on you. You still have these feelings that you’re together but in reality this is not the case.

This also means that you don’t want him to be happy which is the biggest evidence that you’re not in love with him. Real love means putting other people’s happiness before yours.

Isto significa que se a pessoa que amas for feliz, também serás feliz e vice-versa. Por isso, o facto de desejar que ele fique para sempre sozinho ou numa relação infeliz está longe de ser um amor.

2. You’re constantly calling and texting him

This one may seem weird because we all think if a person is constantly calling and texting someone then she’s madly in love with him. Unfortunately, this is not true.

There’s a difference between being madly in love and an obsession. An obsession starts when you reach the level where he constantly ignores you but you keep calling and texting him with no intention of stopping until he answers you.

Mas se ele quisesse responder-lhe, já o teria feito há muito tempo. Se o amas realmente, respeitarás o seu desejo de estar sem ti.
Constantly calling and texting him is a desperate move and you know you’re better than that.

3. Espera que ele lhe telefone ou envie mensagens

Esperar que ele lhe telefone ou envie uma mensagem é outra versão da obsessão. Então, esperas que ele te telefone mas recusas-te a telefonar-lhe?

The only logical reason why you would want such a thing is that you want to prove something to yourself. Perhaps you want to prove that you still own him or you’re doing this for self-validation purposes.

Evidentemente, isto não tem nada a ver com amor; é uma questão de domínio numa relação e também de outros factores psicológicos. Se era a pessoa que dominava a relação, esta pode ser a sua forma subconsciente de preservar o seu estatuto para se sentir bem novamente.

Don’t do this. You are a self-sufficient, amazing woman and you don’t need a man to call you in order to prove what I’ve just said.

4. Tens sentimentos contraditórios quando o vês

Quer o vejas nas redes sociais ou no mundo real, tens de saber que é completamente normal misturares-te sentimentos about him. This doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re still in love with him.

You’ll most likely get the same feeling even five years after the break-up and this is like a side effect that follows everyone who’s in the same situation. You have to know that you cannot simply forget a person after ten days.

These mixed feelings you get have nothing to do with you being in love; they are just your body’s reaction to certain stimuli, e.g. when you were with him, your body learned to react a certain way and now it just imitates the same reaction without any specific reason.

5. You can’t stop talking about him

If you can’t stop talking about your ex, it means you haven’t resolved the situation in your mind. You still need to process what has happened and to do some mind cleansing in order to accept it.

You’re not in love if you can’t stop talking about him because it means you’re not ashamed to talk about him. When you’re ashamed to talk about your ex, it means you’re ashamed of the neglected feelings toward him or you’re subconsciously fighting to forget him but don’t want anyone to know it.

Por isso, quando vos perguntarem: Como é que se sente? Responde simplesmente: Oh, I’m doing fine… Se for esse o caso, pode ser que ainda esteja apaixonada por ele.

But you’re certainly not in love if you’re constantly talking about him to make you feel better about yourself or to prove something to yourself and others. It means you’ve accepted the situation but you only need some time to digest it.