Quando um homem tem medo de te perder, ele faz isto
Quando um homem é medo de te perder, he’ll do everything in his power to prevent you from walking away from him. It means that he knows he has a high-quality woman by his side and he’s not ready to let you go that easily.
But the thing is that when a man is really afraid of losing you, he’s usually done you harm in the past. He hasn’t been treating you properly and now he sees that you’re about to leave him.
Sounds familiar, right? Well, it’s the oldest story in the book.
OK, so here’s the scenario: you’ve been in a relationship for quite some time now and you’ve distanced yourself after seeing that he stopped putting effort into your relationship.
You’ve seen that he always makes excuses for not seeing you or keeping up with your plans and you’ve had enough of it! But wait, apparently he does care.
He starts acting strangely, kind of caring and loving. Like he’s afraid of perder-te.
Well, my dear, that’s most probably the case. Obviously, he realized he can’t afford to let you go without a fight, otherwise, he’ll regret it for the rest of his life.
O que é que significa ter medo de perder alguém?
Being scared of losing someone means that you can’t picture your life without them. This is the person who gives your life meaning and them leaving, would make everything pointless.
This fear is perfectly rational and it’s what makes us human beings.
Truth be told, you can’t say you love someone if you’re not at least a little bit scared of having to keep going without them by your side.
The thing with men is that they’re usually not so scared of losing you while everything is going smoothly. They assume that you can’t stop loving them independentemente do que façam.
And then, when they see that the possibility of you walking out on them is real, they realize what they’ve done.
So, if a guy worries that you’ll leave him, it’s likely that he knows he messed up and now he’s waiting for the consequences of his actions from the past.
Sometimes, he still has time to make things right and sometimes, it’s simply too late.
Como é que sabes se um homem tem medo de te perder?
When a man is scared of losing you, he’ll do literally everything to keep you by his side. All of a sudden, he’ll change all the things you’ve been complaining about in your relationship, he’ll start putting more effort into your relationship and he’ll finally give you the place you deserve.
This guy will want to show you that he’s the best man you can be with and that he’s ready to do whatever it takes to build a healthy relationship.
Ele cancela os planos para estar consigo
Cancelar um encontro no último minuto? Pôr os amigos e os passatempos dele à sua frente?
Sempre te tratando como seu segunda opção? Demasiado ocupado para o ver? Demasiado cansado para falar consigo?
I know you’ve been there and you know exactly how it feels.
Felizmente, tudo isso são coisas do passado. Este tipo é um homem mudado que agora cancela os planos para estar consigo.
Doesn’t matter what kind of plans we’re talking about. He’ll cancel them all just to be around you and show you that he cares.
You don’t have to call him out on his actions and ask him to give you more attention- he does it all by himself. The best part is that he is no longer ashamed of his friends when he bails out on them.
He doesn’t make any excuses- he just tells them that he wants to be with you. How awesome is that?
Além disso, ele inclui-a frequentemente nos seus outros planos. Pede-lhe para ir ao ginásio com ele, inicia noites de encontros duplos e convida-a para irem juntos a uma discoteca.
Of course, none of this would have been possible if he weren’t so scared that you might dump him. It’s like he finally realized all of his mistakes and decided to show you his other side.
Moreover, he will initiate dates very often and there is no stopping him from showing himself at your door in the middle of the night. It’s clear that spending time with you is his number one priority.
It’s something that makes him the happiest man in the world and he wouldn’t trade those moments for anything in the world.
He simply wants to be around you so that you know that there is no way in hell he’s going to make you feel unappreciated. It’s like he wants to make it up to you for all those times he was a jerk in the past.
Ele dá-te presentes em ocasiões aleatórias
Most guys will buy you something when it’s a special occasion like your birthday, anniversary or Valentine’s day. Even then, it’s likely that they’ll buy you the wrong thing.
Don’t get me wrong- I’m not saying that you should be ungrateful. Whatever he bought you- it’s a sign he thought of you.
But hey, let’s be honest. When something like this happens, you can’t believe that he isn’t paying attention to you and your taste. It especially hurts knowing that you put so much effort into every present you got for him.
Bem, felizarda, os teus tormentos chegaram ao fim. Um homem que se preocupa com a possibilidade de o deixar nunca cometerá um erro destes.
First and foremost, he’ll always get you the right present. No, I’m not talking about expensive stuff here only.
I’m talking about the fact that he’ll listen to you. If you just casually mention something you like- he’ll remember it and get it from you.
And you know what’s the best part? The fact that you won’t have to wait for a special occasion to get something from him.
He’ll just bring you a random gift out of the blue and tell you it reminded him of you. Is there anything cuter than that?
OK, receber um presente de vez em quando faz com que cada um de nós se sinta muito especial.
But if you have a kindergarten of plush toys in your room, you better know that he’s scared of losing you.
He will start to behave like there is nothing in this world he can’t buy you to make you happy.
It’s kind of a way of showing you that you are worthy of everything you desire.
Ele evita lutas
All couples fight. And as long as your arguments are productive and for a reason- there is nothing to worry about. A piece of relationship advice: fights are even healthy for a good relationship- especially if they’re followed by steamy makeup.
But when a guy is scared that you’re losing interest- he’ll do his best to avoid any kind of a dispute with you. He’ll want to maintain the peace between you two, at all costs.
That’s exactly why he’ll work hard on you two having boa comunicação. Even when you have different opinions on a matter, he’ll try to calmly talk about it instead of arguing.
Why? Well, it’s actually pretty simple. It’s not that he doesn’t have an attitude on his own.
Ele gosta mais de ti do que de ter razão.
Even if he doesn’t agree with something you’re saying, he will back down and tell you that you should agree to disagree. He won’t make a fight out of it because he doesn’t want to upset you.
He’s making sure that he doesn’t raise his voice and that he doesn’t use harsh words that might make you feel uncomfortable.
I know that this might seem like he’s being a little pussy, but it’s actually cute to know that he cares enough to give up on an argument in order for you to feel safe.
Preocupa-se com a sua família e amigos
Let’s get one thing straight: um homem que te ama doesn’t have to love your family and friends. After all, he chose you and he likes your personality traits. So, who says that he can get along with someone from your life?
Mas ele tem de os respeitar. Ele tem de compreender que estes são os vossos entes queridos.
Nevertheless, when you’re namorar um guy who wouldn’t trade you for the world, he will put in a special amount of effort to be on friendly terms with everyone you care for. This man loves all parts of you, including the people who are dear to you.
Ele quer certificar-se de que sabe que se dá bem com todas as pessoas importantes e próximas de si.
Ele quer que todos gostem dele para que saibam como ele é adorável.
Of course, he will do this in a subtle way—he doesn’t want you to know that he’s desperate.
Mas saiba que isso vai acontecer se ele começar a ter medo de a perder.
Besides, even if you ever leave him, these people are his entrance card back to your life. If he’s friends with your friends and family members, he’ll always have an insight into your feelings and whereabouts.
Ele responde a todas as vossas necessidades
Most men don’t think that the needs of women are rational, so they choose which ones they will respect and which not.
But, when a man is afraid of losing you, he will do all the crazy things that you want and need in a relationship and he won’t think twice about painting the sky green if that’s what you want.
This guy puts your well-being first. He spoils and pampers you because he enjoys seeing a smile on your face. More importantly, he enjoys it, even more, when he knows he’s the reason behind it.
He can’t picture himself happy if you don’t feel the same way. He takes care of you and makes sure you’re always content.
This is the guy who will make sure you don’t miss anything while you’re his girlfriend.
Want to travel? He’ll book the tickets! Want to watch a movie? He’s already popping the popcorn!
O que interessa é que ele quer que sentir-se especial and loved, no matter what. He wants you to know that you can count on him on every occasion and it’s like he’s telling you: “Don’t be afraid, I got you”.
Ele fala do vosso futuro
Ao contrário de outros tipos imaturos, este é não está interessado em nada de temporário. He gave you all of his heart, body, and mind and knows you’re a keeper.
You see, he is aware of all of your qualities. He is also aware that he’ll never find a woman like you, even if he lived a million lives.
He doesn’t think of you just as the best possible girlfriend- he also sees you as material da esposa. Actually, you’re the only woman he can picture himself growing old with.
Sim, ele ama-a incondicionalmente - não há dúvida sobre isso. Mas também tem um enorme respeito pelos seus valores morais, opiniões e atitudes de vida.
Naturalmente, ele quer casar consigo and to make you the mother of his children. He wants you as his life partner and he’s about to do everything to make that happen.
Etiquetar coisas
The guy you’re dating won’t settle for anything less than a long-term relationship. And he makes that obvious from the very beginning.
He labels things between you right from the start. You don’t have to worry about whether he’ll give you the title of his girlfriend or not because he makes it very clear to everyone that you’re a couple.
He starts mentioning things like marriage and kids the moment he feels like he’s going to lose you. At first, when you just start dating, he casually and jokingly mentions how it would be great for you two to start a family. Or he randomly asks about your favorite kid’s name.
But as time goes by, you see that he’s dead serious. He’s not ready to let any other guy steal you from him.
Incluir-te no seu futuro
He doesn’t want your relationship to ever end, so he constantly brings up the topic of your future together. If you look at things closely, you’ll see that he doesn’t make any future plans that don’t include you.
It’s not that he’ll just make a huge life decision and notify you about it. Instead, he’ll always consult you first.
No, he’s not looking for your authorization. He just sees you two as an item and knows that every important choice he makes will impact you as well.
Ele tem ciúmes
Let’s be real: when a man is afraid of losing you, there is no chance in hell for him not to be jealous of every other guy in your surroundings. I’m not saying that he has to be possessive but he’ll definitely get all territorial when another male is around.
He gets all cute whenever he sees you making eye contact or greeting another guy. He probably won’t say anything because he doesn’t want you to think he’s some kind of a lunatic.
He’ll just ask you if this is your friend or a coworker. It’s clear that he wants to know more about this guy, so he can figure out if he’s a threat or not.
On the other hand, when a man is not afraid of losing you, he couldn’t care less if you fall in love with someone else. So, I guess that the total absence of jealousy can be tricky, as well.
Comparar-se com as suas ex-mulheres
But the men he’s most jealous of are, without a doubt, your ex-boyfriends. He won’t tell you: “I am afraid that you’ll go back to one of them” straightforwardly but if you pay closer attention, you’ll see that all the signs are there. They definitely torná-lo inseguro.
It’s like he’s comparing himself to everyone you ever dated. And he needs constant validation that you love him more than all of those guys.
O que faz com que um homem tenha medo de a perder?
Todos os homens se preocupam em perder-te no momento em que se apercebem disso pode viver sem ele. He’ll get scared when he realizes that you can do better than him and that you’d never settle for less than you deserve.
What if you have a social life outside of your relationship, if he can’t destroy your self-esteem and sense of self-worth and if you’re not one of those clingy girlfriends whose world revolves around their partners?
Bem, nesse caso, o vosso homem vai nunca deixar de se esforçar into your relationship. He’ll never take you for granted because he’ll always be aware that you can make it without him.
Sadly, some guys are like that. The moment they see that you’re not going anywhere is the moment when they stop trying.
That’s why you have to make your man worry about losing you if you want to teach him to appreciate you. Here is exactly how to do it.
Show him you want him but don’t need him
The first lesson your man has to learn is that you’re not dependent on him in any way, just because he’s your boyfriend. You consciously choose him as your partner- you don’t actually need him.
Yes, he contributes to your overall happiness- otherwise, you wouldn’t be with him. But you won’t be miserable even if he leaves.
Yes, you like spending time with him. But you won’t be bored and without anything to do with your life if you two split either.
Yes, you love him. As far as you’re concerned, he could be the love of your life but that doesn’t mean you’ll stay next to him, no matter how he acts.
You’re an independent, self-sufficient woman. And when I say this, I really mean it.
You don’t need him to pay your bills, to teach you how to live your life or to give you some special guidance.
You’re a big girl who can take care of herself. It’s nice if he does it but his gifts, acts of service or favors won’t make you dependent in any way.
You’re perfectly fine on your own
Mais importante ainda: sabe como ser solteiro. You’re not with him because you’re afraid of dying alone.
He can’t emotionally blackmail you in any way because being without him wouldn’t be the end of the world for you.
Yes, you would probably be heartbroken. But at the end of the day, you always prefer being single over a relationship that doesn’t fulfill your standards.
Ter uma vida própria
When a man is afraid of losing you, he’ll want to spend every second of his time with you. Since this is the man you love, you’ll want the same thing.
Bem, este é um dos erros que as mulheres cometem. Quando nos apaixonamos, o nosso homem torna-se o único que importa.
You know what I’m talking about. You can’t wait to see him and you miss him even if you’ve seen him a few hours ago.
Durante este processo, a vida social é completamente ignorada. De alguma forma, esquece-se dos seus interesses, dos seus amigos e até dos seus familiares.
What does this tell him? That you’d have to build your social life all over again if he ever left you.
Well, please don’t let that happen. Remember that you didn’t cease to exist the moment you entered this relationship.
You’re much more than someone’s girlfriend. You’re still a friend, a daughter, a professional woman… Most importantly- you’re still yourself.
Why is this important? Well, he has to realize that your life wouldn’t lose meaning without him in it.
You have to make him understand that you wouldn’t be all alone in the world if he left. You’d still have people to spend time with and you’d still keep yourself busy.
Don’t be clingy
It’s common sense- no guy can ever get scared of losing you if you’re all over him. You being a clingy girlfriend will only bring your man to take you for granted.
Se se considera a si próprio como ser demasiado carente (or he told you to back off), it’s time to change your behavioral patterns.
Comece com pequenas mudanças. Pára de lhe enviar tantas mensagens de textos during the day- especially when he’s out with friends.
Wouldn’t it be better for him to wonder what you’re been up to? Trust me- he’ll think of you more if you ignore him.
Stop telling him “I love you” so much- especially if he doesn’t say it first. He’s used to hearing these three magic words from you all the time.
Trust me, he’ll notice if your love declarations disappear. Most importantly: when a guy’s afraid of losing you, he’ll wonder what’s wrong.
Pára de ter ciúmes. If he wants to be unfaithful or leave you for another woman- you can’t stop it.
Basically, there is no point in excessive jealousy. The only thing you will accomplish is boosting his ego and that’s not what you need right now.
Dê o seu melhor
If you’re married or in a long-term relationship, you probably don’t look exactly like the woman your man met ages ago.
This is especially true if you two have kids and if you’re a working mom. You feel like the entire house is on your back and you don’t have the time or the energy to cuide de si.
Well, the thing is that you’ll have to. You have to look your best if you want to make your man wonder.
Para começar, compre roupas novas para si. Mude o seu perfume ou até a cor do seu cabelo.
Comece a prestar mais atenção à sua aparência. Use mais maquilhagem, vá ao ginásio e comece a vestir-se bem.
Men are visual creatures. Trust me- the moment you begin with this practice, he’ll assume that you want to look your best for some other man’s eyes.
O que é ainda mais importante, ele sabe que todos os homens que se cruzam consigo vão fazer-lhe um elogio, convidá-la para sair ou, pelo menos, tentar ter contacto visual profundo.
He would hit on you if you weren’t his GF already so he expects the same from the rest of the male population. What if you like some of those guys more?
Don’t show signs of jealousy
When a man is afraid of losing you, he can’t esconder o seu ciúme. Bem, nós, mulheres, somos iguais.
As long as you worry he’ll replace you with some other girl, you’re showing your biggest fear: that he’ll find someone better than you and that you’re not good enough for him.
Well, that’s exactly why you have to stop being jealous ASAP. Easier said than done, I know. But if you can’t do it, at least stop showing him that.
At first, he’ll be delighted to have such an open-minded girl next to him. Nevertheless, after a while, it will start to bother him.
It will make him think that you couldn’t care less whether he’ll leave or not.
Chamar-lhe a atenção para as suas acções
You’re a woman who knows her autoestima. Sabes exatamente o quanto mereces e ter os seus padrões e os factores de rutura.
The last thing you’re ready to put up with is someone treating you the way he wants. That is exactly why you should never remain silent when this guy does you something you’re not okay with.
If you don’t say anything, you’re just giving him a green light to keep up with his “good” behavior. You’re giving him a heads up and telling him that you’re okay with this kind of treatment.
On the other hand, if you tell him what bothers you, he’ll start worrying about whether you’ll leave him or not.
I’m not saying you should nag or complain all the time. In fact, that could provoke a counterproductive effect.
Just warn him that his behavior is not acceptable. You won’t put up with it, despite all the love you feel.
Trust me- next time, he’ll think things through before acting on them. He’ll worry if he pulls out the last straw that will make you leave him.
Don’t be at a hand’s reach
Being too available is a big no, no. You might think that this is one of the things men want: a girl who is at their disposal but trust me- they don’t fall for this kinds of girls.
If you’re at this guy’s hand’s reach, no matter what he does, he’ll start seeing you as his rede de segurança.
You reply to his text messages in a matter of seconds, you’re never busy when he calls, and even when you two fight, you’re the first one to make amends the next day.
So, how exactly do you expect for this man to even think about the possibility of you ever leaving him? You’re always there, as his little puppy, and for him, you walking away is not even an option.
Well, let’s play a game. For starters, stop responding to his texts so quickly. The next time he calls you on a date, tell him that you’re sorry but your schedule is full.
Make him wonder and let him see that he’s not your only priority in life. Make him compete for your attention and never let him win it completely.
I know that all of this might sound too harsh but trust me- it’s the thing that works on every man.
Fazer-lhe ciúmes
You don’t have to actually be unfaithful to faça ciúmes ao seu homem. Para além de mudar a sua aparência, seria ótimo se também pudesse ser um pouco misterioso.
When he asks you where you’re going, don’t be specific. Tell him that you’re going to meet a friend but put a nervous smile on your face.
Pedir ao seu amigo homem para colocar um emoji de coração nas fotografias que coloca nas redes sociais. Estas são todas as coisas que deixam os homens loucamente ciumentos. Confia em mim: isto vai deixá-lo de rastos.
Don’t get me wrong: My relationship advice is not to become a cheater. I just want him to see that you could replace him in no time- it’s enough for you to want that.
Don’t spoil him
This is a grown man- not a little child. He doesn’t need you taking care of all of his needs. Of course, that doesn’t mean that you’re not allowed to fazer-lhe uma surpresa de vez em quando.
No entanto, há uma linha ténue entre preocupar-se com o seu bem-estar e mimá-lo ao máximo.
The trick is to make him earn your attention. You can’t love him the same when he treats you like the Princess you are and when he doesn’t give you what you deserve.
Em vez disso, mime-se
Um dos erros que as mulheres cometem é esforçarem-se ao máximo para que os seus namorados se sintam bem. Lembre-se: a sua felicidade está sempre em primeiro lugar.
I’m not saying that you shouldn’t give a damn about him but hey, don’t forget to invest some energy into pampering yourself as well.
Faz o que te faz sentir bem. Trabalhe no seu próprio progresso e sempre escolha você mesmo sobre ele.
Don’t lose yourself
Most importantly- always stay true to your true self. Don’t change the essence of your being just to make him like you more.
The moment that happens, a guy knows that you’re not going anywhere. You’re not his puppet and you mustn’t allow him to mold you by his own standards.
Yes, compromise is always welcome. Nevertheless, that doesn’t mean that you should become a completely new person just because he wants you to.
If you let him change you, you’re stuck with him forever, no matter what he does. But if you remain yourself, you always have someone to go back to if he decides to leave- yourself.
Considerações finais
When a man is afraid of losing you, he’ll turn into your homem de sonho de um dia para o outro. Se o fizer preocupar-se com a possibilidade de o deixar, pode dizer adeus ao sentimento de desvalorização.
I promise you that this is the moment he’ll start giving you the respect you deserve. Suddenly, he’ll see everything you’ve been doing for your relationship and he’ll begin to appreciate all the sacrifices you’ve made for him.
Yes, he should be like this even without you showing him what he’s got to lose. Nevertheless, sadly, things don’t always work like that and sometimes, you have to give him a little scare so he snaps out of it and realizes how much he loves you.
I’m not saying that this is the healthiest thing to do but hey, desperate times seek desperate measures, don’t you think?
