6 maneiras de superar o medo após a violência doméstica

Violência doméstica is a hot topic nowadays. Even if you think it doesn’t happen a lot, the numbers tell a different story.

De acordo com a investigação, em cada nove segundos, uma mulher é morta pelo seu parceiro nos EUA. 

I don’t need to mention that there are women who never ask for help and who are not even in the system.

Dito isto, o número de mulheres maltratadas é ainda maior.

E sabes que mais? Isso é devastador. As vítimas de violência doméstica e de abuso emocional precisam de muito tempo para voltar ao caminho certo.

Precisam de toda a ajuda possível para o conseguir. 

Por isso, antes de julgar alguém ou antes de pensar negativamente sobre essa pessoa, procure saber mais sobre a sua vida.

We all cope up with our problems in different ways and the last thing we should do is judge each other. If you can’t help, don’t do anything at all. 

Violência doméstica As vítimas são pessoas que sofreram danos físicos e emocionais.

They believe they’ll never be the old version of themselves again and that it was their fault or at least partly.

Muitas mulheres que escaparam de relações abusivas disseram-me que estavam convencidas de que tinham feito algo de mau. 

They each thought that their partner’s behavior was bad because they didn’t know how to make him happy. But that’s not true. 

Your partner shouldn’t beat the hell out of you if you didn’t make lunch.

He shouldn’t yell at you and gaslight you just because you don’t agree with what he thinks.

He shouldn’t make you addicted to him and isolate you from your family and friends. 

Because that’s not love. That is abuse. And it’s not healthy. 

If you are familiar with all that’s written above and if you have gone through the hell of domestic violence, I’ll try to comfort you and give you some advice on how to overcome the fear.

Espero que algumas destas coisas o ajudem a seguir em frente e a começar um novo capítulo da sua vida.

1. It wasn’t your fault 

The very first thing you need to remember is that it wasn’t your fault.

The abuse you’ve gone through only says something about your abuser and not about you. You were just a victim, a woman in love who couldn’t leave for a large amount of reasons. 

Just know that you gave everything to make it work. But it was in vain because the other side didn’t want to collaborate.

You need to know that you weren’t the guilty one and you shouldn’t let anyone convince you of the opposite. 

Once you accept the fact that you couldn’t do anything but leave, you’ll be one step closer to healing.

2. Perdoar-lhes 

Don’t do it because they deserve it but because you deserve peace. Once you let go of all that toxic energy, you’ll be ready to move on.

Tem de decidir firmemente que quer uma vida melhor para si. 

Deve pôr-se em primeiro lugar e começar a trabalhar na sua própria felicidade.

Once you forgive your abuser, you won’t think about them so much. By forgiving them, you’ll let go of all the demons that were a part of your life for such a long time. 

And trust me, once you are able to do this, you’ll feel much better in your own skin. You will get nothing from revenge or from wishing them the worst.

Don’t worry, they’ll get what they deserve. There is someone up there who sees it all. And He’ll give us all what we deserve.

3. Procurar alguma proteção 

Uma boa maneira de ultrapassar o medo depois de sobreviver à violência doméstica é obter alguma proteção.

You can ask for legal help and a restraining order. That way, you’ll be much calmer because you’ll know you’re safe. 

Your abuser won’t be able to get close to you and you’ll be able to move on with your life.

Maybe you’ll be so scared that you’ll think he’ll pop up from behind every corner but he won’t.

Once you show him that you have taken all the action you can to protect yourself, he’ll stop fighting it. 

He’ll probably move on to another victim and do the same things to her.

Abusers don’t change so don’t think that he’ll ever become a good man. 

4. Tentar uma terapia 

Another good way to overcome the fear is to find a professional therapist who’ll help you get rid of it.

That way, you’ll have someone to talk to, someone who’ll listen to you without judging. 

You’ll get all the knowledge you need to heal. This process might take longer than you thought but that’s not so important.

You’re working on yourself and you’re allowed to take as much time as you need. You’ll see that every time you go to therapy, you’ll feel much better. 

That’ll be your safe place where you can totally expose yourself.

That’s the place where you can be as vulnerable as you want. It’s a place where nobody will judge you or do you any harm. 

That’s a place where you will only get the help that you need to start healing so you can move on. 

5. Inscrever-se numa aula de artes marciais para defesa pessoal 

Uma excelente forma de ultrapassar o medo após a violência doméstica é inscrever-se numa aula de artes marciais.

Existem desportos como o kickboxing, o Jiu-Jitsu, o Krav Maga e outros que podem ajudá-lo a ganhar alguma auto-confiança. 

After you start training, you’ll be more enthusiastic and you’ll know you did something good for yourself.

Also, you’ll feel more powerful and you’ll know that you can defend yourself if someone attacks you. 

Mesmo que seja apenas um pequeno passo em frente, será um salto gigantesco para si.

You’ll see that after some time you won’t feel any fear and that you’ll be surprised how much better you feel mentally. 

Além disso, existe a possibilidade de conhecer outras vítimas de violência doméstica durante a sua formação.

Podem ajudar-se mutuamente e apoiar-se uns aos outros. Isso significará muito para cada um de vós. 

6. Rodeie-se de pessoas em quem confia 

Once you escape a domestic violence relationship, it’ll be hard for you to trust someone after that.

That’s why you should surround yourself with people you trust the most. If you have the need, you can ask your best friend to stay at your place for a couple of days.

That’ll help you feel safer. You’ll know someone is always there for you and that nothing bad can happen to you.

After some time, you’ll feel better and you’ll be able to live on your own. 

You won’t be scared that he’ll come and do you harm. You’ll be totally recovered and you’ll never let any man treat you like that.