O que aprendi sobre o amor depois de ter sido abusada

Depois de ter estado numa relação abusiva, começa-se a ver a vida de forma diferente. Parece que a vida que conhecíamos se desmoronou diante dos nossos olhos e que temos de continuar a viver como se nada tivesse acontecido.

So many people are clueless and don’t understand what you’re going through, and you don’t have enough strength to explain.

Conheceste um homem que pensavas ser o amor da tua vida. Ele era tudo o que esperava, tudo com que sonhava.

You were thinking about spending your life with him… only to find out he was the worst thing that happened to you soon after.

Alguns descobrem-no mais cedo, outros mais tarde. As pessoas tóxicas podem ser excelentes manipuladores e mentirosos.

It’s a soul-crushing moment. There’s nothing like it. You suddenly feel so ashamed, naive, powerless, and desperate. Even if it’s not your fault at all.

After this life-changing experience, you learn about life more than any other time in your life. Unfortunately, it’s mostly sobre o amor e o seu lado negro.

Eis as verdades que aprendi sobre o amor:

Love isn’t what you think it is. I’m sorry, but sometimes that’s the truth.

Sometimes love isn’t true, unconditional, all-conquering love. Sometimes it’s weak, fake, scared, indecisive, quiet, demanding – not what they teach you when you’re growing up.

Sei que, em última análise, nada menos do que incondicional deve ser considerado amor, mas a realidade é que aceitamos o amor que achamos que merecemos e fazemos a nossa própria definição de amor com base nisso.

You can’t predict love. You can’t be sure of anything in life.

Not after abuse. It’s scary to think something that once meant comfort and happiness turned out to be everything but that. It’s hard to relax and not to question every love that comes after that.

Mantém-nos num estado de tensão constante.

O amor torna-nos cegos. You heard this many times but didn’t know what it meant. Now you know.

Quando estamos apaixonados, fazemos coisas inimagináveis. Deixamos que outra pessoa controle completamente as nossas vidas.

Fazemos compromissos que mais tarde se tornam arrependimentos e perdemo-nos completamente.

Love shouldn’t be painful. Alguns de nós foram educados a pensar que o amor é doloroso e cheio de sacrifícios.

Maybe that’s why some of us attract toxic partners. Maybe we subconsciously search for love as we know it.

That’s why we need to work on changing our own perception of love.

O amor é sempre um risco. Por mais medo e mágoa que tenhamos, continuamos a desejar o amor. Continuamos a querer estar seguros e a ser amados.

It’s almost contradictory to think of love as something that makes you safe while knowing you can’t predict what will happen when you let it into your life. You’re always taking a risk.

O risco de ser magoado. O risco de ter o seu coração e a sua vida despedaçados.

There’s no fear in love. If love is as it should be – there should be no place for fear.

If someone is making you feel scared, they don’t love you – they want to control you. Don’t let that happen. Don’t let them win.

Amarmo-nos a nós próprios é o mais importante. Isto é fundamental. Quando aprendemos a amar-nos verdadeiramente, tornamo-nos menos propensos a ter medo e a ser controlados.

The best thing, though, is that you can always decide to start practicing self-love. It’s not always easy, but everyone can do it.

When you start loving yourself, that’s when you start getting your life back. You start living fully.

No one who truly loves you will make you feel like you’re not good enough. You are always good enough.

Sempre que se começa a questionar sobre porquês e ifs, remember that your past doesn’t define you. You’re the one who gets to decide.

You’re the one who lived through all of the struggles. You can do it.

Decidir sair. Decidir começar de novo.

Decide abraçar tudo o que és e aprende o que é o amor uma e outra vez até encontrares o verdadeiro.