Amigos falsos vs. amigos verdadeiros: 12 maneiras de identificar os falsos

Os amigos verdadeiros são difíceis de encontrar e ainda mais difíceis de manter, mas os amigos falsos e as pessoas falsas parecem estar em cada esquina, prontos a aproveitar-se de nós nos tempos difíceis.

If you’ve ever had a fake friendship in your life, you know what I’m talking about here.

Amigos verdadeiros tornar a viagem da vida mais suportável.

They can be your close friends from your friend group in high school who are still very much your BFFs, or your coworkers whom you’ve formed really close bonds with during the course of your working relationship.

When you find new friends and immediately know that there’s a genuine bond there, it doesn’t matter if you’ve known them for 3 months or 3 years.

True friends prove their loyalty and false friends drain you of your energy, no matter how long they’ve been in your social circle .

 

Fake friends exhibit bad behavior on a regular basis, masking it as ”tough love” while claiming to be there for you, while real friends and real friendship take so little effort yet provide you with so much support, kindness, and unending love.

It’s important to be able to distinguish the difference between toxic friendships (same goes with toxic relationships ) and bad friends .

Deve a si próprio traçar uma linha de comportamento aceitável e, assim que vir um bom amigo que ultrapassam essa linha com mais frequência, para os chamar à razão e os afastar (se necessário).

You see, I’ve been there a lot. I’ve had best friends who turned out to be anything but.

I’ve had my heart shattered by a friend more times than I’ve ever been hurt by a guy. My problem is that I kept giving fake friends chances that they didn’t deserve.

It took me years to realize that just because someone’s been in your life for many years, it doesn’t mean they deserve to stay there.

Long-term friends can be the fakest friends you’ll ever meet, which I’ve learned the hard way.

Ver também: Sexo com amigos? Os 10 maiores segredos que ninguém lhe vai contar

Como detetar os amigos falsos?

 

Fake friends are hard to spot if they’ve been around you for a long time, and that’s only because you keep telling yourself that it’s not the case. How could your best friend of 10 years end up being a faker? It just can’t be…

Por isso, ignora-o e continua a alimentar-se de mentiras.

In my own life , I’ve lied to myself on more than one occasion. A few people who I considered to genuinely be my best friends , ended up making me doubt such a thing even exists. 

Toxic people will never show you their true colors until they’ve got no more use from you.

And last year , I finally rid myself of all the bad people I foolishly kept around, admitting to myself that I deserve better friends who won’t be all about gossiping and shattering your self-esteem . 

The friends I deserve are those who’ll hold my hand after a devastating breakup , who won’t forget that there’s such a thing as phone calls when we’re physically apart, and who’ll talk to me even when I’m difficult to be around.

You should never settle for anything less than a group of friends who support you, encourage you, and aren’t a secret frenemy .

Amigos mútuos ou não, deves a ti próprio dizer adeus a todas as relações pouco saudáveis da tua vida.

If right at this moment, you’re starting to realize that you have some fake friends around and you’re done making excuses for them, I applaud you! It isn’t easy weeding out bad people from your life.

It isn’t easy saying goodbye to a long-term friend once realizing they’re no longer the type of person who means well.

 

As you grow older, you start seeing people for who they really are as opposed to who they’ve been pretending to be.

And while it’s hard AF cutting ties with people you love like family, it’s necessary for your own happiness.

You’ll never thrive for as long as you keep harboring fake friends .

You’ll never be at peace knowing that your social circle is lacking in quality. It’s always better to have one true friend than five fake friends .

There’s a reason why they say good friends are hard to find. It’s easy being a good friend when things are going great and life isn’t throwing you curveballs.

But when shit hits the fan, the fake people are easy to spot. They’re the ones showing you their back while the real ones stick around.

Watch out for these 12 signs of fake friends . Take it from a girl who’s been there one too many times.

It’s SO much better having one genuine person than a whole array of fakers who are bound to break your heart.

Ver também: Qualidades de um melhor amigo: 10 características essenciais para procurar num melhor amigo

Os falsos amigos nunca perguntam como estás

 

Think about how many times a person you considered a true friend asked you that simple question, “How are you?” and genuinely meant it.

Quantas vezes essa pessoa falou propositadamente sobre si e os seus problemas e não sobre ela e os seus próprios problemas?

Fake friends are their own favorite conversational topic. They’ll find any way they can to make every conversation about them.

They’ll pretend they care about what you have to say, only to find any chance to interrupt you and start talking about their own stuff.

Um bom amigo ouve e oferece o seu apoio, enquanto as pessoas falsas ouvem apenas para poderem continuar a falar de si próprias.

You’ll notice a faker simply by observing how many times they’ll reply with something actually pertinent to what you were talking about and how often they’ll segue into their own topic.

A fake friend is the type of person who won’t care about your needs and won’t be able to hide it very well. Do you have this kind of person in your friend group ?

Amigos falsos andam com pessoas duvidosas

 

I’ll never be the type of person who tells anyone what to do and who to spend time with. But I will damn sure be mindful of the type of people I let in my life.

And if I start noticing that my friends are hanging out with sketchy, possibly toxic people , I’ll slowly distance myself from that situation.

Um verdadeiro amigo faz parte do seu círculo social e passa a maior parte do tempo consigo, ao mesmo tempo que tem alguns amigos fora do seu grupo de amigos em diferentes fases da vida (totalmente normal).

Mas um falso socializará com pessoas de moral e intenções duvidosas que o incomodam.

Já teve a experiência de o seu amigo andar com pessoas que claramente não são boas pessoas? Se sim, isso diz-nos muito sobre ele e sobre o tipo de pessoa que é.

Tenha cuidado com quem deixa aproximar-se da sua vida. O seu amigo vale os seus sentimentos de desconforto em relação a essas pessoas obscuras?

Os falsos amigos nunca assumem os seus erros

 

One thing a faker will never do is say sorry when an apology is due. I’ve personally had so much experience with this that I know for a fact it to be the case.

A real friend will apologize when they make you feel like shit and they’ll be mindful not to repeat it.

But a fake friend will keep making you feel all kinds of shitty and when you try to confront them about it, they’ll make you out to be the crazy one.

You’ll always be the one exaggerating, playing the victim, or being unreasonable, while they’ll be anything but real friends to you.

Esta deve ser a tua última bandeira vermelha. Sabes como é suposto um verdadeiro amigo fazer-te sentir (amado, ouvido, apoiado e incluído).

And if you don’t feel any of those things, you know you’re around a person who’s taking you for granted.

A cereja no topo do bolo é a sua capacidade de virar sempre tudo contra si.

No matter how many times they make you feel like shit and treat you badly, you’ll sempre ser o louco.

Ver também: Períodos de transição: 10 maneiras de tornar o processo mais fácil

 Os falsos amigos julgam-te e à tua escolha de vida

 

Um amigo é alguém que o apoia em todos os seus empreendimentos e nunca se atreve a julgá-lo por tomar as suas próprias decisões.

They offer their input when asked, but if not, they encourage you, respect you, and never judge you because they know they’ve got no right to.

Os falsos amigos julgam-no secretamente e tudo o que faz. Eles têm opiniões sobre si, a sua vida e as suas escolhas, e estão constantemente a dar as suas opiniões injustificadas.

They mask their true intentions as ”caring,” but in reality, they live through you by giving themselves the right to act as guardians of your life.

With fakers, you never feel like you can say anything without feeling judged. No matter how much you thought something through, they’ll always know better and rub it in your face.

Fake people will never support you, but they’ll always know what’s best for you.

Os falsos amigos fazem-nos sentir inúteis

 

If I had a nickel for every time I felt like shit around someone who I considered to be a best friend , I’d be able to afford a private jet right now. The saddest part is that I’m not even joking.

Escuta. Um amigo é alguém que deixamos entrar na nossa vida de livre vontade e com quem escolhemos passar tempo.

So why would you choose to engage in any type of relationship with somebody who’s constantly putting you down?

Why would you ever let a person who doesn’t necessidade para estar na tua vida te dar tanta merda? 

A fake friend makes you think you’re not good enough. They put you down whenever they feel like it and they make you think that you need to change.

They like gossiping about everyone (which makes you think they do the same behind your back) and they don’t have genuine intentions.

Don’t put up with any of those things. You deserve better friends .

You deserve someone who’s there for you when you fall on hard times , not someone who’ll make you feel guilty for not doing well. Stop making excuses and start making better friend choices!

Fake friends don’t respect your limitations

 

Simply put, fake friends ask for a LOT and give next to nothing in return. They don’t have a problem with overstepping their boundaries and asking you to do stuff that’s beyond your limitations.

True friends know when to draw a line. They know when they’re simply asking for too much and they would never impose such a difficult asking on you, knowing how unfair that would be.

But fakers will give zero regards to your limitations and expect you to do as they please, while not even considering what they’re asking of you.

Don’t surround yourself with people who drain you of your energy and only take without ever giving.

That’s a one-sided friendship that only benefits your fake friend . Don’t let a bad person exhaust you to the point of no return.

Recognize when you’re being asked for too much and demand respect and boundaries.

Those who are truly your close friends will understand and those who aren ‘t will refuse to stop. It’s up to you to weed out the toxic people from real friends .

Fake friends can’t take “no” for an answer

 

Sometimes, you just need to put your foot down and say “no.” With no explanations and no justifying yourself.

You have every right to refuse to do something and if somebody has a problem with that, they’re not good for you in the first place .

Os amigos falsos têm um problema com o facto de serem recusados em qualquer aspeto.

They seem to think that they’re entitled to everything, so when their bubble is burst, they throw a fit.

It can be the smallest thing. For example, if you can’t agree on which pub you’ll go to that night, they refuse to budge and keep insisting to go to their favorite spot.

If you dare say “no” and kindly ask to go to a different place just that one time, they accuse you of being a bad friend .

I’ve literally had that happen so many times and it’s insane how entitled and toxic some people get.

If you don’t abide by their ideas of a good time, you’re being a crappy friend. And that, my friend, is something you should get away from ASAP. 

Fake friends can turn the simplest conversation into a battlefield if they don’t have their way.

E esse é um problema com o qual nunca mais deveria ter de lidar.

Ver também: Como viver em paz e harmonia com a ajuda destes 5 passos

Os falsos amigos nunca estão verdadeiramente felizes com o seu sucesso

 

Já reparou como algumas pessoas ficam verdadeiramente felizes quando lhes partilha as suas boas notícias, quase como se estas lhes estivessem a acontecer? Esses são os verdadeiros amigos da vida. Pessoas que ficam felizes e entusiasmadas quando nos acontecem coisas boas.

But with fakers, it’s a whole other ball game.

Os amigos falsos fazem de tudo para fingir que estão felizes por si, mas morrem de inveja e ressentimento por dentro. Nunca te abraçam de verdade e o seu sorriso é sempre forçado.

You can literally see the difference between the type of person who’s happy for you and the person who’s faking it to the point of their face freezing of all the forced smiles. 

It’s so simple. Good friends love you and are therefore happy when you succeed in any area of life. Your happiness means that they’re happy too because they genuinely want the best for you.

But your frenemy will be jaded because it isn’t happening to them and offer you a hug while barely hiding their toxic friendship from swimming to the surface.

Observe people’s reactions upon hearing your good news and trust what you see. Your gut feeling always knows what’s up.

Fake friends never defend you​

 

A fake friendship is one where you know that you’ll never be defended in your absence.

A false friend will never stand up for you when you’re being dragged through the mud.  Real friendship means having your friend’s back in good times and bad.

Quantos amigos do seu círculo social pode verdadeiramente dizer que o defenderiam e lutariam pela sua honra?

How many of them would speak up when you’re being gossiped about and either put a stop to it or leave the conversation?

Truly give this a thought and then you’ll know who your real friends are.

Friendship is all about loyalty and respect. Only a bad person will go along with the crowd and taint your name when you’re not around.

But it takes courage to be the one to speak out when it’s not easy to do and when it means going against everyone else in the room. That’s the truest friend you’ll ever have in life.

It only takes one phone call to let you know how poorly spoken about you’re being among your supposed group of friends . Those who keep it from you are just as bad as those going along with it.

Stick to that one person who never made you doubt them for one second. They’re the only friend you need.

Os falsos amigos nunca estão presentes nos momentos difíceis

 

Fakers always have somewhere to be and something important to do when you’re in need of their help.

When it isn’t about them and when they have nothing to gain, they’ll disappear faster than you can say amigo falso .

Be mindful of the people who offer you a hand when you’re going through some heavy stuff.

Apreciar aqueles que dedicam tempo para estar presentes, por mais inconveniente que seja para eles.

A disponibilidade para oferecer ajuda altruísta em momentos difíceis é um dos actos mais altruístas que uma pessoa pode oferecer.

Notice the people you have to beg to come and those who don’t even need to be asked.

That’s the most distinguishable difference between a real friend and a faker. Real ones are just there, no questions asked.

Os falsificadores desaparecem no vento sem sentirem um pingo de culpa.

Fake friends change their personality depending on who they’re around

 

Do you know the easiest way to figure out the fakers? They have a few different personalities and they all vary depending on the type of person they’re with.

And that’s because they need different things from different people, so they need to be perceived in a way that allows them to get what they need from each friend.

Por isso, pode encontrar diferentes matizes de personalidade nesse mesmo amigo e ficar surpreendido com a fachada falsa que ele apresenta para conseguir o que quer.

Isto é muito fácil de detetar e ainda mais fácil de eliminar.

Who needs a fake friend with five messed up personalities in one when you can have one genuine friend who acts the same regardless of the social circle ? Get yourself a friend who’s true to who they are.

It’s not easy always being authentic, but it’s necessary if you want to find genuine people with kind intentions.

Ver também: O valor da amizade e a sua importância crucial

Fake friends can’t be trusted

 

You know those people you can just say anything to and you’ll know they’re taking it to the grave?

Now those are true friends ! That’s how I personally know who’s worthy of my trust and effort and who’s just tagging along temporarily.

Fake friends can’t be trusted with much. You just know that they’ll spread around it like it’s their job.

And if they’re not loyal to you, what’s the point of keeping them around?

Think about who you could share disturbing news with right this moment, knowing they’d never share it with anyone (in person or through social media ).

Who would you trust with your life? At the end of the day, that’s what it’s all about. 

As pessoas que fazem parte da tua vida são aquelas a quem podes dizer qualquer coisa sabendo que o teu segredo está seguro.

And fake friends will never have your full trust because they’re always looking for some kind of leverage.

Mantenha os amigos que o fazem sentir-se visto, ouvido e ferozmente apreciado. Esses são os seus amigos verdadeiros.

Trust is the basis of any healthy relationship. If you don’t have that one vital thing, what do you really have?

A confiança, a lealdade e a consistência são o núcleo de qualquer relação saudável entre duas pessoas que se preocupam profundamente uma com a outra.

If your friends are lacking in those areas, they’re not worthy of being called a friend (or receiving an emotional carta de feliz aniversário). Now that you know the difference, hopefully you’ll never settle for a faker again.