Cansei-me de o ver partir-me o coração, por isso apaixonei-me por mim própria

Era uma vez, eu apaixonei-me por ele. Era uma vez, eu dei tudo de mim parao the man who couldn’t care less for me. Era uma vez, um coração partido.

Fui espancado até à morte emocional. Era como um cadáver vivo, a respirar, a comer, a beber, mas incapaz de sentir o que quer que fosse.

Eu estava completamente entorpecida no meu mundo de caos, aquele que ele fez da minha vida, prometendo-me um conto de fadas no início. Mas tudo o que recebi foram lágrimas, tristeza e agonia. Eu merecia tudo, mas no final não tive nada de bom, e ele é o único culpado por isso.

He was such a nice guy at first. He took care of me. He protected me, and he was keeping me like I was the apple of his eye. But somewhere along the road, he changed. He transformed into a man I couldn’t recognize anymore. He started picking fights out of nowhere.

He always made me feel like I wasn’t good enough for him, like I just got lucky for him choosing me. He made me believe Eu era a pessoa que não era amável, the one who doesn’t deserve love and good treatment.

He convinced me that the way he was treating me was the right way because I didn’t deserve anything better than that. He made me completely lose myself over him.

He always wanted me to make him my priority while he never made me his. And I, blindly in love accepted all of his terms. I accepted them all and didn’t ask what I will get from it.

I just obeyed him, thinking that he knows best. I didn’t even use my head to think about that. I didn’t think about the fact that he was using me all that time.

E ele sabia-o desde o início, mas nunca o admitiu porque era bom para ele. Manter-me perto e obrigar-me a fazer tudo o que ele queria era o seu objetivo final.

Ele só precisava de uma marioneta que dançasse enquanto ele tocava, e encontrou a vítima perfeita em mim. Eu fazia tudo o que ele queria, pensando que devia comportar-me assim porque o amava.

Pensava que estava a fazer algo de bom pela nossa relação, mas ele nunca fez nada de bom por mim. E sempre que eu lhe dizia isso, sempre que lhe dizia que ele também devia tentar manter-me na relação, ele limitava-se a dizer-me que eu precisava mais dele do que ele de mim e que eu podia ir-me embora se quisesse.

E acreditem, as palavras dele magoaram-me como a espada mais afiada, apunhalando o meu coração vezes sem conta. Naquele momento, apercebi-me que ele nunca me amou. Só amava a ideia de eu estar perto para satisfazer todos os seus desejos. Obrigava-me sempre a ficar porque precisava de mim.

No entanto, ele precisava de mim para fins maus. Eu era apenas alguém a quem ele se habituou. Sabia que tipo de café ele gostava, como devia ser o seu pequeno-almoço e como queria que a sua roupa fosse lavada.

Ele queria-me perto porque eu lhe era familiar, porque conhecer outra mulher e ensinar-lhe tudo o que eu sabia seria um problema.

That’s why ele fez tanto esforço para me manter por perto. Conseguiu-o manipulando-me, mentindo-me e enganando-me.  

He used all means necessary to keep me close and he managed to do that. It wasn’t so hard since I was madly in love with him. He used my heart and my feelings to get what he wanted, and he succeeded in his plan.

He got what he wanted, and I ended up with my heart bleeding.  He broke my heart so many times. I don’t remember the number of times I forgave him for hurting me, thinking that he will change.

Mas sabes, um dia cansei-me de tudo isso. Cansei-me de ele me menosprezar, de me mentir, manipulando-me e não me amava de todo. Por isso, decidi que era altura de desistir dele.

You know, giving up on him was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do but it was the only way to get my old life back. I suffered when I let him go, but I had lived in pain for such a long time, and I simply had to make some change. I needed to feel alive again.

I needed to feel worthy and lovable again. And he couldn’t provide me with that. He didn’t know how to love me, so I fell in love with myself instead. I was his prisoner for a long time and I needed to break free from him.

And the day I did it, I was born again. I started enjoying things that I enjoyed before I met him, and it was such an amazing feeling. I started going out with my friends, meeting new people and making my dreams come true. I started doing all those things he forbade me while I was in a relationship with him—things that I had missed so much.

And most of all, I got the old me back, the person I craved so much but couldn’t get because he had trapped her in his web of lies. But now, all is over! He doesn’t possess me anymore.

He doesn’t have the right to come into my life again. And even if he wants it, I would never let him come back. One toxic man was enough for my whole life. The last thing I need is to put up with his shit again and ruin my life.

Em vez disso, optei por voltar a ser feliz. Optei por começar um novo capítulo da minha vida! E, acima de tudo, escolhi apaixonar-me por mim própria!