33 coisas que um terapeuta de relacionamentos está implorando para que os casais parem de fazer

After a candid chat with a seasoned relationship therapist, I walked away with some eye-opening insights—ones that every couple needs to hear. So, married friends, grab your coffee (or let’s be real, maybe a glass of wine), because we’re about to unpack 33 hábitos que podem estar a destruir silenciosamente a sua relação. These are the patterns that make therapists want to gently—but firmly—plead with couples to rethink their approach to love.

From subtle communication missteps to those everyday behaviors that seem harmless but slowly erode connection, this is the stuff that turns a love story into unnecessary drama. But don’t worry, this isn’t about blame—it’s about awareness, growth, and maybe even a few laughs along the way. Ready for some hard truths wrapped in humor and real talk?

1. Parar de marcar pontos

Oh, keeping score, the ultimate game we all seem to play in relationships. But let me tell you, my friend, this isn’t a game you want to win. Keeping tabs on who did what and when they did it is a one-way ticket to resentment city.

Imagine living in a constant state of competition, where love is measured by the chores completed or the favors returned. It’s exhausting, isn’t it? Instead of counting every little thing, why not focus on the bigger picture? Love is about giving freely, not tallying points.

So, next time you’re tempted to mentally jot down your partner’s transgressions, try having a conversation instead. Forgiveness and understanding are the real winners here, and they’ll make your relationship way more fulfilling do que um jogo interminável de ping-pong conjugal.

2. Pare de esperar a leitura da mente

Alright, let’s clear the air on this magical thinking: expecting your partner to read your mind is a recipe for disaster. As much as we’d all love to be psychic, mind-reading isn’t a real thing (shocker, I know!). It’s all about honest communication, my friend.

When you expect your partner to know what you’re thinking without a clear word, you’re setting both of you up for disappointment. Sure, it would be dreamy if they just knew you needed a hug or that you’re annoyed because of dirty dishes, but life isn’t a rom-com.

Instead, speak up! It’s okay to actually say what you want or need. Guess what? Your partner will probably appreciate the clarity. Let’s ditch the silent treatment and embrace the beauty of open conversations. It’s way more effective than hoping for a spouse with a crystal ball.

3. Parar de se comparar com os outros

Comparing your relationship to others is like trying to wear someone else’s shoes—they never fit right. I get it, social media makes it look like everyone else’s marriage is perfect. But news flash: those curated posts rarely show the whole truth.

When you constantly measure your relationship against others, you’re setting unrealistic standards. Marriage is personal, unique, and complex. Instead of comparing, celebrate what makes your relationship special.

Think about it: You’ve got your own inside jokes, shared memories, and quirks that make your love story uniquely yours. Let’s trade envy for appreciation. After all, the only relationship worth striving to improve is the one you’re in.

4. Stop Using ‘Always’ and ‘Never’

Ah, the classic ‘always’ and ‘never’ conundrum. These words are like gasoline on the fire of any marital spat. When you throw them around, it turns minor disagreements into epic battles worthy of a soap opera.

Ninguém é sempre alguma coisa, e utilizar termos tão exagerados minimiza as hipóteses de compreensão. Torna o seu parceiro defensivo e menos suscetível de ouvir as suas verdadeiras preocupações.

Why not try expressing your feelings without these absolutes? Like, ‘I feel upset when this happens,’ instead of ‘You never listen!’ This shift can turn arguments into discussions and foster real understanding. Let’s save ‘always’ and ‘never’ for things like ‘I will always love chocolate’—now that’s a forever commitment we can all stand behind.

5. Pare de evitar conversas difíceis

Difficult conversations—they’re like vegetables for your relationship. Not always tasty, but oh-so necessary. Avoiding them only builds tension and unresolved issues that bubble beneath the surface until they explode like a pressure cooker.

Let’s be real: no one enjoys these talks, but they’re crucial for growth and understanding. Whether it’s about finances, future plans, or family dynamics, addressing them head-on builds trust and connection.

So, take a deep breath, make a cup of tea, and tackle those issues together. It’s less about ‘winning’ the argument and more about understanding each other. Facing those tough talks can strengthen your bond in ways avoiding them never will.

6. Deixar de esperar a perfeição

Perfection is a myth, my friend, and expecting it from your partner is a surefire way to feel let down. No one is perfect—not you, not me, and certainly not your spouse. Chasing perfection is like chasing a unicorn: exciting in theory, but you’ll never catch it.

Quando esperamos ser impecáveis, deixamos de ver o ser humano bonito e confuso que está à nossa frente. Abrace as peculiaridades, as imperfeições e os momentos inesperados que tornam a sua relação real.

So, let’s put down those imaginary checklists and appreciate each other for who we are. After all, it’s the imperfections that often make a relationship perfectly imperfect. Isn’t that what makes love so wonderfully unpredictable and full of laughter?

7. Pare de se negligenciar a si próprio

Listen up, fabulous humans: neglecting yourself is not the badge of honor it’s cracked up to be. Sure, marriage is about partnership, but that doesn’t mean you should lose yourself in the process. Self-care isn’t selfish; it’s essential.

When you prioritize everyone else, you’re running on empty, and that’s not sustainable. Remember, a healthy relationship includes two healthy individuals. So, take time for yourself, pursue your interests, and recharge those batteries.

It’s not about being self-absorbed; it’s about balance. When you feel good, you’re better equipped to apoiar o seu parceiro e cuidar da vossa relação. So go ahead, indulge in that bubble bath or catch up with friends. You’ll be surprised at how much it positively impacts your marriage.

8. Parar de trazer o passado à baila

Dragging the past into the present—oh boy, it’s like carrying a suitcase full of regrets you never unpack. Constantly bringing up past mistakes only serves to reopen old wounds that should be left to heal.

É claro que reconhecer os problemas do passado é importante, mas voltar a falar deles em cada desacordo? Nem por isso. Isso pesa na vossa relação e impede-vos de seguir em frente.

Porque não tentar concentrar-se no aqui e agora? Perdoe sempre que puder e trabalhe na construção de um futuro em conjunto. Deixar de lado as mágoas do passado pode ser incrivelmente libertador e abre espaço para o crescimento e a renovação da vossa relação.

9. Pare de ignorar as pequenas coisas

Ah, the little things—often overlooked, yet they can make a world of difference in your relationship. Ignoring them is like letting weeds grow in a garden; they seem small at first but can eventually overshadow the flowers.

The small gestures, compliments, or even tidying up without being asked can have a surprisingly positive impact. It’s the everyday kindnesses that build a strong, loving foundation.

So, pay attention to those little details, my friend. Acknowledge your partner’s efforts, say thank you, and don’t let those tiny weeds take over. It’s the little things that often mean the most and keep the romance alive.

10. Deixar de ser demasiado crítico

A crítica pode parecer a morte por mil cortes de papel num casamento. Constantly pointing out your partner’s flaws and mistakes is more damaging than you might think.

Sure, we all have things we wish our partner would do differently, but there’s a way to express that without tearing them down. Focus on constructive feedback rather than criticism.

Celebrate the positives, and when issues arise, discuss them with kindness and empathy. Remember, you’re on the same team. Shifting from criticism to encouragement can foster a more supportive and loving environment.

11. Deixar de se tomar uns aos outros como garantidos

Tomar o seu parceiro como garantido é como deixar a sua planta favorita sem rega; se não for bem cuidada, murcha com o tempo. O reconhecimento e a apreciação mútuos nunca devem ser postos de lado.

When you assume your partner knows they’re valued, you miss opportunities to express love and gratitude. Small gestures, words of affirmation, and acts of kindness can make a huge difference.

Revive the appreciation by making an effort to notice and acknowledge the little things. A simple ‘thank you’ or ‘I appreciate you’ can go a long way in strengthening your bond. Let’s nurture those love plants so they may grow and thrive.

12. Deixar de fazer suposições

As suposições são os culpados sorrateiros que muitas vezes levam a mal-entendidos e conflitos nas relações. Presumir que sabe o que o seu parceiro está a pensar ou a sentir sem realmente perguntar é como tentar adivinhar o enredo de um livro sem o ler.

As más interpretações podem criar tensões desnecessárias. Em vez de presumir, pergunte. Esclareça as intenções e os sentimentos antes de tirar conclusões precipitadas.

Open, honest communication is key. By making fewer assumptions and more inquiries, you’ll find your relationship filled with clarity and understanding. Trust me, it’s like turning on the lights in a dark room—you’ll see everything a lot more clearly.

13. Deixar de evitar o afeto

Physical affection—it’s the unsung hero of relationship glue. Avoiding pode corroer lentamente a ligação que partilha com o seu parceiro. Touch isn’t just physical; it’s emotional, too, and it’s essential to maintaining intimacy.

Whether it’s a hug, a kiss, or simply holding hands, these gestures reinforce love and commitment. When affection takes a backseat, it can lead to feelings of neglect or isolation.

Reintroduce touch in your daily interactions. It bridges gaps and brings comfort and warmth to your relationship. So go ahead, reach out and touch your partner. It’s a small step with a big impact.

14. Parar de engarrafar as emoções

As emoções são como as bebidas com gás. Se as mantivermos engarrafadas durante demasiado tempo, acabam por explodir. Suprimir sentimentos pode parecer uma forma de evitar conflitos, mas muitas vezes cria problemas maiores no futuro.

By not expressing how you feel, you deny your partner the opportunity to understand and support you. It’s crucial to share both the highs and lows.

O desenvolvimento de um hábito de expressão emocional aberta pode melhorar a vossa ligação e reduzir os mal-entendidos. Liberte esses sentimentos de forma saudável e veja a sua relação tornar-se mais resistente e gratificante.

15. Deixar de saltar os encontros noturnos

Date night—it’s not just a cliché, it’s a necessity! Skipping it regularly turns your relationship into a routine of chores and responsibilities without the fun and romance.

Date nights are your opportunity to reconnect, laugh, and create new memories. They’re the antidote to stress and the gateway to rekindling that flame.

Make it a priority, not an afterthought. Whether it’s a fancy dinner or a cozy night in, the key is spending quality time together. Keep the romance alive by keeping that date night sacred.

16. Stop Dismissing Each Other’s Interests

We all have our quirks and passions, and dismissing your partner’s interests is like stepping on a blooming flower. It stifles individuality and can lead to feelings of inadequacy.

While you might not share the same enthusiasm for a hobby, showing interest and support goes a long way in affirming your partner’s identity. It’s about respect and acceptance.

Celebrate each other’s passions, even if you don’t fully understand them. It enriches your relationship and shows that you care about what makes your partner unique. Let’s be each other’s biggest fans, shall we?

17. Parar de chatear

O incómodo é o som da irritação transformado numa sinfonia de aborrecimento. Pedir repetidamente ao seu parceiro para fazer algo pode transformar até o pedido mais banal numa fonte de tensão.

Em vez de ser apanhado num ciclo de queixas, tente uma abordagem diferente. Comunique claramente as suas necessidades e chegue a um compromisso sempre que possível.

Remember, timing and tone matter. A gentle nudge is often more effective than a constant barrage. You’ll find that cooperation grows from understanding, not nagging. Let’s turn down the volume and tune into more harmonious conversations.

18. Deixar de gerir mal as finanças

As finanças podem ser o elefante na sala, espezinhando a harmonia da relação. A má gestão dos assuntos financeiros causa stress e conflitos, que muitas vezes se transformam em problemas maiores.

A transparência e a colaboração são fundamentais. Definam objectivos financeiros em conjunto e comuniquem abertamente sobre despesas e poupanças.

Em vez de deixar que o dinheiro crie uma barreira entre vocês, utilize-o como uma ferramenta para construir um futuro comum. Fazer um orçamento pode não ser romântico, mas pode levar à paz financeira e a uma parceria mais forte.

19. Não deixar que o stress tome conta de si

Stress—it’s the uninvited guest that overstays its welcome. When you let it take over, it can wreak havoc on your relationship, turning everyday interactions into tense exchanges.

Reconhecer o stress pelo que ele é e enfrentá-lo em conjunto. Desenvolvam estratégias para o gerir, seja através de exercício físico, meditação ou passatempos partilhados.

Facing stress as a team not only reduces its impact but also strengthens your bond. You’re in this together, so support one another through the chaos and emerge stronger on the other side.

20. Deixar de fazer reservas em excesso na sua agenda

Overbooking your schedule is like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole—something’s gotta give. When you’re too busy, your relationship takes a backseat.

Prioritize quality time with your partner amidst the chaos. It’s easy to let commitments pile up, but remember: o vosso casamento merece um lugar nesse calendário preenchido.

Make time for each other, even if it means saying no to other engagements. Balancing commitments with meaningful moments can do wonders for your relationship’s health.

21. Deixar de guardar rancor

Os rancores são a bagagem emocional que pesa mais na sua relação do que uma mala cheia de tijolos. Guardar mágoas do passado só serve para criar distância e ressentimento.

Forgiveness is vital for moving forward. It doesn’t mean erasing the past, but rather choosing to release its hold on you.

By letting go of grudges, you’ll find your relationship becomes lighter, more joyful, and more resilient. It’s a gift you give to yourself and your partner, creating space for healing and growth.

22. Deixar de sacrificar os objectivos pessoais

Personal goals are the dreams that fuel your spirit, and sacrificing them for the sake of your marriage can lead to resentment. It’s essential to pursue your ambitions while maintaining your relationship.

Support each other’s dreams and find ways to integrate them into your shared life. Collaboration and encouragement can make both your goals and your relationship flourish.

Balancing personal aspirations with marital commitments might be challenging, but it’s worth the effort. When both partners feel fulfilled, the relationship becomes a source of strength and happiness.

23. Pare de evitar desculpas

Ah, apologies—the simple yet powerful tool often avoided like the plague. Avoiding them creates barriers and unresolved tension that can fester beneath the surface.

Apologizing isn’t about admitting defeat; it’s about acknowledging hurt and rebuilding trust. It’s a bridge to understanding and healing.

Embrace the art of a genuine apology and watch how it transforms conflicts into opportunities for growth. It’s not about who was right, but about valuing your partner’s feelings and strengthening your connection.

24. Deixar de forçar a mudança

Forcing change in your partner is like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole—it just doesn’t work. People evolve at their own pace, and pressuring them can lead to resistance and resentment.

Em vez de forçar a mudança, concentre-se em inspirá-la, apoiando-a e compreendendo-a. Incentive o crescimento, mas respeite a individualidade.

Celebre a pessoa que o seu parceiro é hoje e apoie o seu percurso. A verdadeira mudança vem de dentro, e um ambiente de amor promove essa transformação naturalmente.

25. Deixar de desvalorizar a intimidade

Intimacy is the heartbeat of a healthy relationship, yet it’s often undervalued or overlooked. When intimacy is neglected, it creates a void that can lead to disconnection.

A proximidade emocional e física é vital para manter uma ligação forte. Dê prioridade à intimidade, reservando tempo um para o outro, partilhando sentimentos e participando em actividades que promovam a ligação.

Cherish the closeness you share, and make intimacy a priority. It’s about more than physical touch; it’s the emotional glue that keeps love thriving.

26. Deixar de viver no passado

Viver no passado é como conduzir um carro enquanto se fixa no espelho retrovisor. Perde-se a visão da estrada à frente. A nostalgia tem o seu lugar, mas reviver continuamente as glórias ou os fracassos do passado pode impedir o progresso.

Abrace o presente e olhe para o futuro. A vossa relação prospera quando se concentram em construir novas memórias e experiências.

Celebrate your history, but don’t let it overshadow the potential for what’s to come. Together, create a vibrant future full of possibilities and shared adventures.

27. Deixar de resistir ao compromisso

Compromise—it’s the art of give and take, yet resisting it turns every disagreement into a battleground. When both sides dig in their heels, progress stalls.

Embrace the power of compromise by finding common ground and valuing each other’s perspectives. It’s not about losing but about co-creating solutions.

Quando se encara o compromisso como uma ferramenta de parceria, abrem-se portas à compreensão e à harmonia. Deixem de lado o braço de ferro e trabalhem em prol de resoluções que vos honrem a ambos.

28. Pare de subestimar o poder de ouvir

Listening is more than hearing words; it’s the foundation of understanding. Underestimating its power leads to miscommunication and missed connections.

Active listening involves empathy, acknowledgment, and presence. It’s about truly understanding what your partner is saying and feeling.

Cultivem o hábito de ouvir profundamente. Não só resolve conflitos, como também fortalece os vossos laços e fomenta a confiança. Deixem que a escuta seja a porta de entrada para uma intimidade e uma ligação mais profundas.

29. Não deixar que a tecnologia tome conta de tudo

A tecnologia é uma serva maravilhosa, mas um mestre terrível. Quando assume o controlo, torna-se uma barreira à ligação genuína.

Set boundaries with your devices and prioritize face-to-face interactions. Quality time isn’t just about being physically present; it’s about being emotionally available.

Desconectar para reconectar. Dê espaço para conversas, risos e experiências partilhadas. Deixe que a tecnologia melhore a sua relação, não a ofusque.

30. Parar o comportamento passivo-agressivo

O comportamento passivo-agressivo, como o tratamento do silêncio, apenas constrói muros numa relação. Evita abordar os problemas reais e, muitas vezes, leva a mais ressentimentos.

Ser direto na expressão dos sentimentos ajuda a esclarecer mal-entendidos. Quando se sente magoado ou aborrecido, discutir calmamente as suas emoções pode evitar tensões desnecessárias.

Incentivar uma comunicação aberta, exprimindo as emoções com honestidade e procurando soluções construtivas em conjunto, em vez de deixar fermentar a amargura.

31. Pare de se esquivar da vulnerabilidade

Vulnerability—it’s the pathway to true intimacy, yet it’s often avoided due to fear of being hurt. But shying away from it keeps relationships superficial.

Abra o seu coração e partilhe o seu "eu" autêntico com o seu parceiro. A vulnerabilidade promove a confiança e uma ligação mais profunda.

Embrace the courage it takes to be vulnerable. In doing so, you’ll find that your relationship becomes a sanctuary of love, understanding, and acceptance.

32. Parem de se interromper uns aos outros

As interrupções durante as conversas podem ser uma grande fonte de frustração. Quando um dos parceiros interrompe constantemente, envia uma mensagem de que as suas palavras são mais importantes, abafando a comunicação aberta.

Respecting each other’s voice by patiently listening fosters mutual respect and understanding. Taking turns to speak also helps in reducing conflicts and misunderstandings.

Pratique a escuta ativa, permitindo que o seu parceiro se exprima plenamente antes de responder, criando um ambiente mais favorável a um diálogo aberto.

33. Deixar de ser multitarefa durante as conversas

In our fast-paced world, multitasking has become the norm, but it can be detrimental in a relationship. When your partner is talking, but you’re glued to your phone or watching TV, it sends a message of disinterest.

Para conversas significativas, dê toda a sua atenção. Este pequeno gesto mostra que valoriza o que o seu parceiro está a dizer e reforça a ligação emocional.

Faça um esforço consciente para afastar as distracções quando estiver a conversar com o seu cônjuge para criar uma ligação mais profunda.