33 cosas que un terapeuta de relaciones ruega a los matrimonios que dejen de hacer
After a candid chat with a seasoned relationship therapist, I walked away with some eye-opening insights—ones that every couple needs to hear. So, married friends, grab your coffee (or let’s be real, maybe a glass of wine), because we’re about to unpack 33 hábitos que pueden estar minando silenciosamente tu relación. These are the patterns that make therapists want to gently—but firmly—plead with couples to rethink their approach to love.
From subtle communication missteps to those everyday behaviors that seem harmless but slowly erode connection, this is the stuff that turns a love story into unnecessary drama. But don’t worry, this isn’t about blame—it’s about awareness, growth, and maybe even a few laughs along the way. Ready for some hard truths wrapped in humor and real talk?
1. Dejar de llevar la cuenta
Oh, keeping score, the ultimate game we all seem to play in relationships. But let me tell you, my friend, this isn’t a game you want to win. Keeping tabs on who did what and when they did it is a one-way ticket to resentment city.
Imagine living in a constant state of competition, where love is measured by the chores completed or the favors returned. It’s exhausting, isn’t it? Instead of counting every little thing, why not focus on the bigger picture? Love is about giving freely, not tallying points.
So, next time you’re tempted to mentally jot down your partner’s transgressions, try having a conversation instead. Forgiveness and understanding are the real winners here, and they’ll make your relationship way more fulfilling que una interminable partida de ping-pong marital.
2. Deje de esperar que le lean la mente
Alright, let’s clear the air on this magical thinking: expecting your partner to read your mind is a recipe for disaster. As much as we’d all love to be psychic, mind-reading isn’t a real thing (shocker, I know!). It’s all about honest communication, my friend.
When you expect your partner to know what you’re thinking without a clear word, you’re setting both of you up for disappointment. Sure, it would be dreamy if they just knew you needed a hug or that you’re annoyed because of dirty dishes, but life isn’t a rom-com.
Instead, speak up! It’s okay to actually say what you want or need. Guess what? Your partner will probably appreciate the clarity. Let’s ditch the silent treatment and embrace the beauty of open conversations. It’s way more effective than hoping for a spouse with a crystal ball.
3. Deja de compararte con los demás
Comparing your relationship to others is like trying to wear someone else’s shoes—they never fit right. I get it, social media makes it look like everyone else’s marriage is perfect. But news flash: those curated posts rarely show the whole truth.
When you constantly measure your relationship against others, you’re setting unrealistic standards. Marriage is personal, unique, and complex. Instead of comparing, celebrate what makes your relationship special.
Think about it: You’ve got your own inside jokes, shared memories, and quirks that make your love story uniquely yours. Let’s trade envy for appreciation. After all, the only relationship worth striving to improve is the one you’re in.
4. Stop Using ‘Always’ and ‘Never’
Ah, the classic ‘always’ and ‘never’ conundrum. These words are like gasoline on the fire of any marital spat. When you throw them around, it turns minor disagreements into epic battles worthy of a soap opera.
Nadie es siempre nada, y utilizar términos tan exagerados minimiza las posibilidades de entendimiento. Hace que tu pareja se ponga a la defensiva y sea menos probable que escuche tus verdaderas preocupaciones.
Why not try expressing your feelings without these absolutes? Like, ‘I feel upset when this happens,’ instead of ‘You never listen!’ This shift can turn arguments into discussions and foster real understanding. Let’s save ‘always’ and ‘never’ for things like ‘I will always love chocolate’—now that’s a forever commitment we can all stand behind.
5. Deje de evitar las conversaciones difíciles
Difficult conversations—they’re like vegetables for your relationship. Not always tasty, but oh-so necessary. Avoiding them only builds tension and unresolved issues that bubble beneath the surface until they explode like a pressure cooker.
Let’s be real: no one enjoys these talks, but they’re crucial for growth and understanding. Whether it’s about finances, future plans, or family dynamics, addressing them head-on builds trust and connection.
So, take a deep breath, make a cup of tea, and tackle those issues together. It’s less about ‘winning’ the argument and more about understanding each other. Facing those tough talks can strengthen your bond in ways avoiding them never will.
6. Dejar de esperar la perfección
Perfection is a myth, my friend, and expecting it from your partner is a surefire way to feel let down. No one is perfect—not you, not me, and certainly not your spouse. Chasing perfection is like chasing a unicorn: exciting in theory, but you’ll never catch it.
Cuando esperas que tu relación sea perfecta, no ves al ser humano hermoso y desordenado que tienes delante. Acepta las peculiaridades, las imperfecciones y los momentos inesperados que hacen que tu relación sea real.
So, let’s put down those imaginary checklists and appreciate each other for who we are. After all, it’s the imperfections that often make a relationship perfectly imperfect. Isn’t that what makes love so wonderfully unpredictable and full of laughter?
7. Deja de descuidarte
Listen up, fabulous humans: neglecting yourself is not the badge of honor it’s cracked up to be. Sure, marriage is about partnership, but that doesn’t mean you should lose yourself in the process. Self-care isn’t selfish; it’s essential.
When you prioritize everyone else, you’re running on empty, and that’s not sustainable. Remember, a healthy relationship includes two healthy individuals. So, take time for yourself, pursue your interests, and recharge those batteries.
It’s not about being self-absorbed; it’s about balance. When you feel good, you’re better equipped to apoye a su pareja y nutra su relación. So go ahead, indulge in that bubble bath or catch up with friends. You’ll be surprised at how much it positively impacts your marriage.
8. Deja de recordar el pasado
Dragging the past into the present—oh boy, it’s like carrying a suitcase full of regrets you never unpack. Constantly bringing up past mistakes only serves to reopen old wounds that should be left to heal.
Por supuesto, reconocer los problemas del pasado es importante, pero ¿recuperarlos en cada desacuerdo? No tanto. Eso lastra la relación e impide avanzar.
¿Por qué no intentas centrarte en el aquí y el ahora? Perdona cuando puedas y trabaja para construir un futuro juntos. Dejar atrás los agravios del pasado puede ser increíblemente liberador y deja espacio para el crecimiento y la renovación de la relación.
9. Deja de ignorar las pequeñas cosas
Ah, the little things—often overlooked, yet they can make a world of difference in your relationship. Ignoring them is like letting weeds grow in a garden; they seem small at first but can eventually overshadow the flowers.
The small gestures, compliments, or even tidying up without being asked can have a surprisingly positive impact. It’s the everyday kindnesses that build a strong, loving foundation.
So, pay attention to those little details, my friend. Acknowledge your partner’s efforts, say thank you, and don’t let those tiny weeds take over. It’s the little things that often mean the most and keep the romance alive.
10. Dejar de ser excesivamente crítico
En un matrimonio, las críticas pueden ser como la muerte en mil pedazos. Constantly pointing out your partner’s flaws and mistakes is more damaging than you might think.
Sure, we all have things we wish our partner would do differently, but there’s a way to express that without tearing them down. Focus on constructive feedback rather than criticism.
Celebrate the positives, and when issues arise, discuss them with kindness and empathy. Remember, you’re on the same team. Shifting from criticism to encouragement can foster a more supportive and loving environment.
11. Dejar de darnos por sentados
Dar a tu pareja por sentada es como dejar tu planta favorita sin regar; se marchita con el tiempo sin los cuidados adecuados. Reconocerse y apreciarse nunca debe dejarse de lado.
When you assume your partner knows they’re valued, you miss opportunities to express love and gratitude. Small gestures, words of affirmation, and acts of kindness can make a huge difference.
Revive the appreciation by making an effort to notice and acknowledge the little things. A simple ‘thank you’ or ‘I appreciate you’ can go a long way in strengthening your bond. Let’s nurture those love plants so they may grow and thrive.
12. Dejar de hacer suposiciones
Las suposiciones son las culpables furtivas de los malentendidos y los conflictos en las relaciones. Suponer que sabes lo que tu pareja piensa o siente sin preguntarle es como intentar adivinar el argumento de un libro sin leerlo.
Las malas interpretaciones pueden generar tensiones innecesarias. En lugar de suponer, pregunte. Aclara tus intenciones y sentimientos antes de sacar conclusiones precipitadas.
Open, honest communication is key. By making fewer assumptions and more inquiries, you’ll find your relationship filled with clarity and understanding. Trust me, it’s like turning on the lights in a dark room—you’ll see everything a lot more clearly.
13. Deje de evitar el afecto
Physical affection—it’s the unsung hero of relationship glue. Avoiding puede erosionar lentamente la conexión que compartes con tu pareja. Touch isn’t just physical; it’s emotional, too, and it’s essential to maintaining intimacy.
Whether it’s a hug, a kiss, or simply holding hands, these gestures reinforce love and commitment. When affection takes a backseat, it can lead to feelings of neglect or isolation.
Reintroduce touch in your daily interactions. It bridges gaps and brings comfort and warmth to your relationship. So go ahead, reach out and touch your partner. It’s a small step with a big impact.
14. Dejar de reprimir las emociones
Las emociones son como las bebidas gaseosas. Si las reprimes demasiado tiempo, acaban explotando. Reprimir los sentimientos puede parecer una forma de evitar conflictos, pero a menudo crea problemas mayores.
By not expressing how you feel, you deny your partner the opportunity to understand and support you. It’s crucial to share both the highs and lows.
Desarrollar un hábito de expresión emocional abierta puede mejorar su vínculo y reducir los malentendidos. Deje que esos sentimientos afloren de forma saludable y observe cómo su relación se vuelve más resistente y satisfactoria.
15. Deja de faltar a tu cita
Date night—it’s not just a cliché, it’s a necessity! Skipping it regularly turns your relationship into a routine of chores and responsibilities without the fun and romance.
Date nights are your opportunity to reconnect, laugh, and create new memories. They’re the antidote to stress and the gateway to rekindling that flame.
Make it a priority, not an afterthought. Whether it’s a fancy dinner or a cozy night in, the key is spending quality time together. Keep the romance alive by keeping that date night sacred.
16. Stop Dismissing Each Other’s Interests
We all have our quirks and passions, and dismissing your partner’s interests is like stepping on a blooming flower. It stifles individuality and can lead to feelings of inadequacy.
While you might not share the same enthusiasm for a hobby, showing interest and support goes a long way in affirming your partner’s identity. It’s about respect and acceptance.
Celebrate each other’s passions, even if you don’t fully understand them. It enriches your relationship and shows that you care about what makes your partner unique. Let’s be each other’s biggest fans, shall we?
17. Dejar de fastidiar
El fastidio es el sonido de la irritación convertido en una sinfonía de fastidio. Pedir repetidamente a tu pareja que haga algo puede convertir incluso la petición más mundana en una fuente de tensión.
En lugar de quedarte atrapado en un ciclo de quejas, prueba con un enfoque diferente. Comunica tus necesidades con claridad y llega a un acuerdo cuando sea posible.
Remember, timing and tone matter. A gentle nudge is often more effective than a constant barrage. You’ll find that cooperation grows from understanding, not nagging. Let’s turn down the volume and tune into more harmonious conversations.
18. Dejar de gestionar mal las finanzas
Las finanzas pueden ser el elefante en la habitación, pisoteando la armonía de la relación. La mala gestión de los asuntos económicos provoca estrés y conflictos, que a menudo desembocan en problemas mayores.
La transparencia y la colaboración son fundamentales. Fijen juntos objetivos financieros y comuniquen abiertamente sus gastos y ahorros.
En lugar de dejar que el dinero os separe, utilizadlo como herramienta para construir un futuro común. Presupuestar puede no ser romántico, pero puede llevar a la paz financiera y a una relación más fuerte.
19. Deja de permitir que el estrés se apodere de ti
Stress—it’s the uninvited guest that overstays its welcome. When you let it take over, it can wreak havoc on your relationship, turning everyday interactions into tense exchanges.
Reconocer el estrés por lo que es y afrontarlo juntos. Desarrolla estrategias para gestionarlo, ya sea haciendo ejercicio, meditando o compartiendo aficiones.
Facing stress as a team not only reduces its impact but also strengthens your bond. You’re in this together, so support one another through the chaos and emerge stronger on the other side.
20. Deje de reservar en exceso su horario
Overbooking your schedule is like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole—something’s gotta give. When you’re too busy, your relationship takes a backseat.
Prioritize quality time with your partner amidst the chaos. It’s easy to let commitments pile up, but remember: su matrimonio merece un hueco en ese apretado calendario.
Make time for each other, even if it means saying no to other engagements. Balancing commitments with meaningful moments can do wonders for your relationship’s health.
21. Dejar de guardar rencor
Los rencores son el equipaje emocional que lastra tu relación más que una maleta llena de ladrillos. Aferrarse a rencores del pasado sólo sirve para crear distancia y resentimiento.
Forgiveness is vital for moving forward. It doesn’t mean erasing the past, but rather choosing to release its hold on you.
By letting go of grudges, you’ll find your relationship becomes lighter, more joyful, and more resilient. It’s a gift you give to yourself and your partner, creating space for healing and growth.
22. Dejar de sacrificar los objetivos personales
Personal goals are the dreams that fuel your spirit, and sacrificing them for the sake of your marriage can lead to resentment. It’s essential to pursue your ambitions while maintaining your relationship.
Support each other’s dreams and find ways to integrate them into your shared life. Collaboration and encouragement can make both your goals and your relationship flourish.
Balancing personal aspirations with marital commitments might be challenging, but it’s worth the effort. When both partners feel fulfilled, the relationship becomes a source of strength and happiness.
23. Dejar de evitar las disculpas
Ah, apologies—the simple yet powerful tool often avoided like the plague. Avoiding them creates barriers and unresolved tension that can fester beneath the surface.
Apologizing isn’t about admitting defeat; it’s about acknowledging hurt and rebuilding trust. It’s a bridge to understanding and healing.
Embrace the art of a genuine apology and watch how it transforms conflicts into opportunities for growth. It’s not about who was right, but about valuing your partner’s feelings and strengthening your connection.
24. Dejar de forzar el cambio
Forcing change in your partner is like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole—it just doesn’t work. People evolve at their own pace, and pressuring them can lead to resistance and resentment.
En lugar de forzar el cambio, concéntrese en inspirarlo mostrándose comprensivo y solidario. Fomente el crecimiento, pero respete la individualidad.
Celebre la persona que su pareja es hoy y apoye su camino. El cambio genuino viene de dentro, y un entorno de amor fomenta esa transformación de forma natural.
25. Deja de infravalorar la intimidad
Intimacy is the heartbeat of a healthy relationship, yet it’s often undervalued or overlooked. When intimacy is neglected, it creates a void that can lead to disconnection.
La cercanía emocional y física es vital para mantener un vínculo fuerte. Priorice la intimidad dedicándose tiempo el uno al otro, compartiendo sentimientos y participando en actividades que fomenten la conexión.
Cherish the closeness you share, and make intimacy a priority. It’s about more than physical touch; it’s the emotional glue that keeps love thriving.
26. Dejar de vivir en el pasado
Vivir en el pasado es como conducir un coche fijándose en el retrovisor. Te pierdes el camino que tienes por delante. La nostalgia tiene su lugar, pero revivir continuamente glorias o fracasos pasados puede obstaculizar el progreso.
Abrace el presente y mire hacia el futuro. Tu relación prospera cuando te centras en construir nuevos recuerdos y experiencias.
Celebrate your history, but don’t let it overshadow the potential for what’s to come. Together, create a vibrant future full of possibilities and shared adventures.
27. Dejar de resistirse al compromiso
Compromise—it’s the art of give and take, yet resisting it turns every disagreement into a battleground. When both sides dig in their heels, progress stalls.
Embrace the power of compromise by finding common ground and valuing each other’s perspectives. It’s not about losing but about co-creating solutions.
Considerar el compromiso como una herramienta de colaboración abre las puertas a la comprensión y la armonía. Abandona el tira y afloja y busca soluciones que os honren a ambos.
28. Dejar de subestimar el poder de la escucha
Listening is more than hearing words; it’s the foundation of understanding. Underestimating its power leads to miscommunication and missed connections.
Active listening involves empathy, acknowledgment, and presence. It’s about truly understanding what your partner is saying and feeling.
Cultiva el hábito de escuchar profundamente. No sólo resuelve conflictos, sino que refuerza el vínculo y fomenta la confianza. Deja que la escucha sea la puerta de entrada a una intimidad y una conexión más profundas.
29. Deja de permitir que la tecnología se apodere de ti
La tecnología es un sirviente maravilloso, pero un amo terrible. Cuando se apodera de todo, se convierte en una barrera para la conexión genuina.
Set boundaries with your devices and prioritize face-to-face interactions. Quality time isn’t just about being physically present; it’s about being emotionally available.
Desconecte para volver a conectar. Deje espacio para la conversación, la risa y las experiencias compartidas. Deje que la tecnología mejore su relación, no que la eclipse.
30. Detener el comportamiento pasivo-agresivo
Un comportamiento pasivo-agresivo, como guardar silencio, sólo sirve para levantar muros en una relación. Evita abordar los problemas reales y suele generar más resentimiento.
Ser directo al expresar los sentimientos ayuda a aclarar los malentendidos. Cuando te sientas herido o molesto, hablar con calma de tus emociones puede evitar tensiones innecesarias.
Fomente la comunicación abierta expresando las emociones con honestidad y buscando juntos soluciones constructivas, en lugar de dejar que cunda el rencor.
31. Dejar de rehuir la vulnerabilidad
Vulnerability—it’s the pathway to true intimacy, yet it’s often avoided due to fear of being hurt. But shying away from it keeps relationships superficial.
Abra su corazón y comparta su auténtico yo con su pareja. La vulnerabilidad fomenta la confianza y una conexión más profunda.
Embrace the courage it takes to be vulnerable. In doing so, you’ll find that your relationship becomes a sanctuary of love, understanding, and acceptance.
32. Dejar de interrumpirnos
Interrumpir una conversación puede ser una fuente importante de frustración. Cuando uno de los interlocutores interrumpe constantemente, envía el mensaje de que sus palabras son más importantes, lo que ahoga la comunicación abierta.
Respecting each other’s voice by patiently listening fosters mutual respect and understanding. Taking turns to speak also helps in reducing conflicts and misunderstandings.
Practica la escucha activa permitiendo que tu interlocutor se exprese plenamente antes de responder, creando así un entorno más propicio para el diálogo abierto.
33. Deja de hacer varias cosas a la vez durante la conversación
In our fast-paced world, multitasking has become the norm, but it can be detrimental in a relationship. When your partner is talking, but you’re glued to your phone or watching TV, it sends a message of disinterest.
Para mantener conversaciones significativas, preste toda su atención. Este pequeño gesto demuestra que valoras lo que dice tu interlocutor y refuerza la conexión emocional.
Haga un esfuerzo consciente por alejar las distracciones cuando mantenga una conversación con su cónyuge para establecer una conexión más profunda.
