O treinador de encontros revela como evitar sentir algo demasiado cedo
Getting caught up in feelings early during the dating stage can be a real roller coaster, and I’ve experienced that crazy ride more times than I’d like to admit.
I used to be the person who would one day casually go out with a guy, and the next thing you know, I’m daydreaming like crazy. We didn’t even set up a second date and I’m already planning our future together!
Eu estava tão desesperada por amor que Pensei que todos os homens com quem namorei eram o únicosem me aperceber que isso me iria custar muitos desgostos. Foi então que me deparei com Shahrzad Parandeh, uma treinadora de encontros no TikTok que mudou a minha vida.
Ela enumerou tudo o que eu fiz de errado, mas felizmente também apresentou soluções! Ela começou a sua vídeo dizendo:
“If you’re a woman who gets attached early on during the dating phase, I’ve got you, girl! I want you to listen to this, I want you to save this and come back to it because it’s going to change your dating game and it’s going to really help you approach dating in a much healthier way.”
Shahrzad explica como ela cometeu os mesmos erros anteriormente e o tiro saiu sempre pela culatra but now everything’s different. She shared the things that helped her and that every woman can apply to her life. So try this out next time!
Realize you don’t even know this guy
Embora possa parecer estranho à primeira vista, faz sentido! É frequente fantasiarmos com uma pessoa inventada na nossa mente while not knowing anything about them. Who knows if he’s even half of those things you want him to be?
Em vez de gastar o seu tempo a convencer-se de que ele é a pessoa certa para si, tentem conhecê-lo melhor antes de fazerem planos para o vosso futuro. This man might be a convicted criminal while you’re here thinking he’s your perfect match.
Shahrzad explains you’re focusing on the wrong things:
“You wanna know whether or not he has what it takes to be with you. Is he gonna be a person that’s reliable, is he trustworthy, is he consistent, is he gonna treat you right?… And if right off the bat, he’s not showing you the qualities that you want, instead of focusing on what do I do to make him come to me, take a step back and say I don’t even know who he is. Let me see if he has the qualities, the real qualities that I want.”
You gotta admit she’s right. How can you think you’re in love when you haven’t even found out much about him? Don’t think you know him fully just from one date and late-night texting. Demore o tempo que for preciso para o conhecer e depois decida se gosta dele, não da versão imaginária que tem na cabeça.
Não lhe enviar mensagens de texto
Todos sabemos que isto pode ser difícil, especialmente quando se gosta muito deles. No entanto, you can’t find out everything about someone immediately. Também seria aborrecido rever toda a nossa vida rapidamente através de textos e não deixar nada para mais tarde.
Referiu a importância de sermos verdadeiros connosco próprios:
“When you’re texting all day and all night, you start to get this false sense of intimacy. You start to have real feelings for someone that’s just texting you. They’re not really dating you when they’re just texting you!”
Eu sei que é tão bom quando nos damos bem com alguém e temos muitos assuntos para falar, mas ela tem razão. It’s just a nice conversation, nothing more! So why would you invest your feelings as if you’re in a committed relationship when you’re far away from that?
O treinador de encontros também explicou it causes unnecessary drama and anxious feelings the moment they’re busy and can’t text you. If you get nervous while waiting for his response and then drop everything the second he answers, that’s the biggest sign you need to step back!
Concentre a sua energia em si próprio
Shahrzad terminou o seu vídeo mencionando o conselho que dá a todos os seus clientes. É preciso think about all the energy you’re wasting on him and redirect it towards yourself. Como ela disse:
“All that attention, all of that beautiful love that you’re freely giving away to someone that you hardly know, you deserve it, so call it back to you. Bring all of that attention back to you. You deserve all of that energy!”
Imagine you’re spending all this time and energy on someone who’s not even worth it and you’ll forget he existed one month from now. It’s much better to focus on yourself and relax. Don’t fantasize about him, let him show you if he’s what you want.
Os seus conselhos sobre encontros ajudaram muitas pessoas!
A lot of women in her comments said she read them like an open book and they found this video very helpful. Some even admitted it wasn’t easy to come clean about this problem:
“This was hard for me to hear… it’s was only 3 wks and he already ghosted me. It’s been really really draining.”
Outra rapariga lamenta não ter ouvido este conselho a tempo:
“I wish I would have seen this before he friend-zoned me then ghosted me after 5 weeks. He was a gentleman but now I wonder if he was talking to someone else.
They’re not the only ones who have been enlightened. I have to admit este treinador de encontros também me ajudou. After implementing everything she talked about, I’ve experienced a huge change!
Já não fico ansioso e sinto-me mais relaxado e confiante. I try to be open to everything and don’t make any conclusions ahead of time. So definitely try it out and you’ll be thankful to Shahrzad for sharing her wisdom!
