L'esperto di appuntamenti rivela come evitare di cogliere i sentimenti troppo presto

Getting caught up in feelings early during the dating stage can be a real roller coaster, and I’ve experienced that crazy ride more times than I’d like to admit. 

I used to be the person who would one day casually go out with a guy, and the next thing you know, I’m daydreaming like crazy. We didn’t even set up a second date and I’m already planning our future together!

Ero così disperata per l'amore che Pensavo che ogni uomo con cui uscivo fosse l'unosenza rendermi conto che mi sarebbe costato molti cuori infranti. Poi mi sono imbattuta in Shahrzad Parandeh, una dating coach su TikTok che mi ha cambiato la vita.

Mi ha elencato tutto ciò che ho sbagliato, ma per fortuna mi ha fornito anche delle soluzioni! Ha iniziato il suo video dicendo:

“If you’re a woman who gets attached early on during the dating phase, I’ve got you, girl! I want you to listen to this, I want you to save this and come back to it because it’s going to change your dating game and it’s going to really help you approach dating in a much healthier way.”

Shahrzad spiega come ha fatto gli stessi errori in passato e le si sono sempre ritorti contro. but now everything’s different. She shared the things that helped her and that every woman can apply to her life. So try this out next time!

Realize you don’t even know this guy

Anche se all'inizio può sembrare strano, ha senso! Spesso fantastichiamo su una persona inventata nella nostra mente. while not knowing anything about them. Who knows if he’s even half of those things you want him to be?

Invece di passare il tempo a convincervi che lui è la persona giusta per voi, cercate di conoscerlo meglio prima di fare progetti sul vostro futuro. This man might be a convicted criminal while you’re here thinking he’s your perfect match.

Shahrzad explains you’re focusing on the wrong things:

“You wanna know whether or not he has what it takes to be with you. Is he gonna be a person that’s reliable, is he trustworthy, is he consistent, is he gonna treat you right?… And if right off the bat, he’s not showing you the qualities that you want, instead of focusing on what do I do to make him come to me, take a step back and say I don’t even know who he is. Let me see if he has the qualities, the real qualities that I want.”

You gotta admit she’s right. How can you think you’re in love when you haven’t even found out much about him? Don’t think you know him fully just from one date and late-night texting. Prendetevi il tempo di incontrarlo davvero e poi decidete se vi piace, non la versione immaginaria che avete in testa. 

Rallentate il ritmo dei messaggi

Sappiamo tutti che potrebbe essere difficile, soprattutto quando vi piacciono molto. Tuttavia, you can’t find out everything about someone immediately. Sarebbe anche noioso ripercorrere velocemente tutta la nostra vita attraverso i messaggi e non lasciare nulla per il futuro.

Ha parlato dell'importanza di essere reali con se stessi:

“When you’re texting all day and all night, you start to get this false sense of intimacy. You start to have real feelings for someone that’s just texting you. They’re not really dating you when they’re just texting you!”

So che è una bella sensazione quando si entra in sintonia con qualcuno e si hanno molti argomenti di cui parlare, ma non ha tutti i torti. It’s just a nice conversation, nothing more! So why would you invest your feelings as if you’re in a committed relationship when you’re far away from that?

Il dating coach ha anche spiegato it causes unnecessary drama and anxious feelings the moment they’re busy and can’t text you. If you get nervous while waiting for his response and then drop everything the second he answers, that’s the biggest sign you need to step back!

Concentrare l'energia su se stessi

Shahrzad ha concluso il video ricordando il consiglio che dà a tutti i suoi clienti. È necessario think about all the energy you’re wasting on him and redirect it towards yourself. Come ha detto lei stessa:

“All that attention, all of that beautiful love that you’re freely giving away to someone that you hardly know, you deserve it, so call it back to you. Bring all of that attention back to you. You deserve all of that energy!”

Imagine you’re spending all this time and energy on someone who’s not even worth it and you’ll forget he existed one month from now. It’s much better to focus on yourself and relax. Don’t fantasize about him, let him show you if he’s what you want.

I suoi consigli sugli appuntamenti hanno aiutato molti!

A lot of women in her comments said she read them like an open book and they found this video very helpful. Some even admitted it wasn’t easy to come clean about this problem:

“This was hard for me to hear… it’s was only 3 wks and he already ghosted me. It’s been really really draining.”

Un'altra ragazza rimpiange di non aver ascoltato questo consiglio in tempo:

“I wish I would have seen this before he friend-zoned me then ghosted me after 5 weeks. He was a gentleman but now I wonder if he was talking to someone else.

They’re not the only ones who have been enlightened. I have to admit questo dating coach ha aiutato anche me. After implementing everything she talked about, I’ve experienced a huge change!

Non sono più ansioso e mi sento più rilassato e sicuro di me. I try to be open to everything and don’t make any conclusions ahead of time. So definitely try it out and you’ll be thankful to Shahrzad for sharing her wisdom!