15 desafios que só as mães que ficam em casa compreendem verdadeiramente
Quando o meu marido sugeriu que seria melhor eu ficar em casa a educar os nossos filhos até eles entrarem para a escola, concordei imediatamente. Nessa altura Pensei porque não, ficar em casa com os miúdos seria ótimo. Além disso, estava a passar um mau bocado no trabalho e uma pausa na carreira pareceu-me a ideia perfeita.
Quase todos os meus amigos fizeram o mesmo quando tiveram filhos e tudo o que eu conseguia ouvir era “It’s the best thing to do when your kids are infants or toddlers.” or “You’ll get to watch them grow and witness all of their milestones.”
Overall enthusiasm did not prepare me for the stark reality – ser uma mãe que fica em casa é uma batalha difícil.
E, na minha experiência, estas são as 15 desvantagens de ser uma mãe que fica em casa:
1. “I realized SAHM is a full-time job”
Be aware – it’s not only playing, hugging, and kissing little noses and fingers. Para além do serviço de babysitting, também inclui tarefas domésticas, cozinhar, limpar, ir às compras, levá-los ao médico e gerir as necessidades gerais da casa e da família.
Pelo menos, foi o que aconteceu comigo, mas seja mais inteligente e faça um plano para dividir todas as tarefas domésticas entre si e o seu marido.
2. “I felt lonely and isolated”
A falta de interação social tem peso e influencia o seu humor. Estar sempre com as crianças, sem poder ter uma conversa adulta adequada, exceto com o seu marido, pode fazer com que se sinta sozinha.
Days will revolve around satisfying kids’ needs and there will be no room for any other activity. You’ll lose touch with your friends and family, e quando recordar as conversas ocasionais que teve no escritório, parecerá uma vida completamente diferente.
So, go meet your best friend at least twice a month. Don’t make excuses, hubby can replace you for an hour.
3. “Being SO tired I was easily irritated and would often lose my temper”
Os dias agitados fazem-no sentir-se esgotado e sobrecarregado, e pode assustar-se facilmente. Além disso, pode ficar zangado e gritar com os seus filhos.
Depois da tempestade emocional, sente-se mal e desamparado, sem a ideia de como lidar com o fardo e fazer com que tudo funcione. Feeling trapped is also very common among stay-at-home moms. Sometimes we don’t leave the house for days!
Tente manter-se calmo e lembre-se de respirar!
4. “I was incapable to ask for help”
I usually feel rattled when I’m under the time pressure and there’s a lot to do. I rush myself, become more nervous, and then I drop things, damage the door, or scratch the car.
No matter how many things I do, there’s always more. It’s a never-ending cycle, and you never catch a break.
Many women fail to notice that it’s all too much and they need to ask for help. Peça ao seu marido que lhe dê uma ajuda nas tarefas domésticas! Eu sei que ele tem um emprego a tempo inteiro, mas tu também tens. Depois das 17 horas, todas as tarefas devem ser partilhadas entre vocês os dois.
5. “I was stuck in the routine loop”
You feel as if you’re in an endless routine loop that gets repeated over and over again. Todos os dias são iguais, often you’re not sure if it’s Wednesday or Thursday.
You keep feeding the kids, changing diapers, washing clothes, ironing, cleaning the dishes, picking up toys, etc. Of course it’s exhausting. As if you’re a rat in a wheel.
Por isso, fuja à rotina e leve as crianças a almoçar ao ar livre. Ou leve-os a fazer um piquenique!
6. “My days were tedious and dull”
A natureza repetitiva da sua agenda diária faz com que, por vezes, se sinta aborrecido. Eterno O trabalho árduo deixa-o deprimido e a sua vida parece não ter sentido. Perde-se a motivação e esquece-se de cuidar de si próprio.
Lembre-se, a mamã precisa de uma pausa de vez em quando! Peça ao seu marido para tomar conta das crianças enquanto sai. Um simples passeio pode fazer maravilhas!
7. “I felt worthless without a ‘real’ job”
While your career is on hold, even though you’re very busy with childcare, continua a ver-se a si próprio como desempregado. Isto pode provocar um sentimento de inutilidade, pode ter um impacto grave na autoestima e pode provocar ansiedade.
That’s why I keep repeating – SAHM is a real job, more difficult than the one you’re being paid for. Give yourself credit and make sure to thrive in your new “tenure”!
After all, I’m glad I’ve spent a few years being a stay-at-home mom, but Gostava de estar preparado para todos os inconvenientes deste papel. Seria muito mais fácil para mim se os meus amigos tivessem partilhado estes conselhos úteis. Por isso, tomem nota!
8. “I missed having a personal identity”
When you dedicate all your time and energy to your family, it’s easy to lose sight of who you are outside of being a mom. Your hobbies, interests, and ambitions may take a backseat, leaving you feeling like you’ve lost a part of yourself.
Find ways to reconnect with your identity. Pick up an old hobby, join a class, or set aside time for personal growth. Even small efforts can help you rediscover your sense of self and remind you that you’re more than just a mom.
9. “I struggled with societal expectations”
Society often has conflicting views about stay-at-home moms. On one hand, you’re praised for dedicating yourself to your family. On the other, you might feel judged for not contributing financially. These mixed messages can be hard to navigate.
Ignore the noise and focus on what works best for your family. Everyone’s journey is different, and there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to parenting. Surround yourself with supportive people who understand and respect your choices.
10. “I battled guilt over self-care”
Taking time for yourself can sometimes feel selfish when you’re a stay-at-home mom. But self-care isn’t a luxury; it’s a necessity. When you’re well-rested and happy, you’re better equipped to care for your family.
Start small. Take 30 minutes a day to do something you love. Whether it’s reading, exercising, or simply relaxing, prioritize your needs. Remember, taking care of yourself is part of taking care of your family.
11. “I worried about reentering the workforce”
Taking a career break can make you anxious about returning to work. Will your skills be outdated? Will employers overlook you? These fears are common but shouldn’t hold you back.
Stay connected to your industry through networking or online courses. Update your resume regularly and highlight the skills you’ve developed as a stay-at-home mom, like multitasking, problem-solving, and time management. These are valuable in any workplace.
12. “I felt invisible”
Stay-at-home moms often feel unappreciated and overlooked. The work you do isn’t always visible, and it’s easy to feel like your efforts go unnoticed.
Communicate your feelings with your family and remind them of the value you bring to their lives. Celebrate small wins, and don’t be afraid to seek validation from yourself and others.
13. “I struggled with my mental health”
Os desafios de ser uma mãe que fica em casa podem afetar a sua saúde mental. Os sentimentos de solidão, frustração e inadequação podem acumular-se ao longo do tempo.
Don’t hesitate to seek support. Talk to a therapist or join a support group for moms. Remember, you’re not alone in your struggles, and help is available.
14. “I missed adult company”
Spending all day with children can make you crave adult interaction. While your kids are wonderful, they can’t replace the connection and stimulation you get from talking to other adults.
Faça um esforço para socializar. Junte-se a um clube de leitura, participe em eventos comunitários ou simplesmente ponha a conversa em dia com os amigos. A companhia de adultos pode proporcionar uma mudança de ritmo refrescante.
15. “I learned to appreciate the little things”
Despite all the challenges, being a stay-at-home mom taught me to find joy in the small moments. A giggle, a hug, or a simple “Thank you, Mommy” can make all the hard work feel worthwhile.
Cherish these moments. They’re fleeting but precious, and they remind you why you chose this path in the first place.
