10 diferenças cruciais entre amor e paixão
Qual é a diferença entre amor e paixão?
Muitas pessoas assumem que amor e a paixão são a mesma coisa. No entanto, a verdade é que estes dois sentimentos intensos são completamente diferentes, embora seja muito fácil misturá-los.
So, how do you know what’s the difference between love and infatuation?
For starters, when you’re infatuated, you feel like you’re in seventh heaven, you’re carried away and your head is in the clouds.
You have a strong feeling of lust and incredible euphoria every time you think of the object of your infatuation and it is like you’re magnetically drawn to them.
A julgar por esta descrição, provavelmente descreveria todas estas emoções intensas como um verdadeiro amor por uma pessoa.
Well, we’re here to shatter your delusions and give you some of the most important differences between these two concepts and help you realize whether you’re experiencing infatuation or love.
Atração física vs. carácter
One of the first differences between love vs. infatuation lies in the reason why you and your partner fell for each other. I won’t lie to you—the first thing you usually notice about a person is their appearance.
You’re physically attracted to something about their body or face or to the way they speak, smile, dance or talk to you.
No entanto, quando se trata de paixão, esta atração física é a única coisa que existe entre os dois, mesmo depois de algum tempo.
No matter how much time you spend with this person, the thing that draws you to them is their body; if you’re a guy, you’re proud of yourself for having a girl with a great ass or big boobs and if you’re a girl, you’re happy that you’ve got yourself a catch with incredible abs and muscles.
Nevertheless, when it comes to love, all of this becomes irrelevant and what begins to matter is this person’s character traits.
You’re attracted to your partner’s kindness and devotion, to the fact that you can trust them and the fact they love you back unconditionally.
Yes, you still can’t fail to notice that your girlfriend has a smoking hot body but you know you would love her the same even if she gained weight or cut her hair short.
Most importantly—you would still want to kiss her and hold her in your arms the same way you wanted to when she looked like a top model.
Not only that—when it comes to real love, your partner becomes more and more beautiful with each day that passes, or at least, you perceive them that way.
Aconteça o que acontecer, ele continuará a ser o seu único interesse amoroso e a pessoa mais atraente do mundo, na sua opinião.
Eles poderiam acabar numa cadeira de rodas, ficar com rugas ou transformar toda a sua aparência de qualquer outra forma, mas continuarias a sentir-te incrivelmente excitado por eles.
You love them the same when you wake up next to them without make-up on, with your hair all messed up and with smelly breath and when they’re all dressed up, looking their best.
On the contrary, infatuation doesn’t make you feel that way.
Relacionadas: Bombardeamento de amor Vs. Apaixonamento: 14 diferenças cruciais
Instantaneamente vs. um processo
According to most dating experts, there is no such thing as love at first sight. In fact, this concept of love at first sight is actually infatuation because this is how infatuation takes place—in the blink of an eye.
It happens instantly and before you know it, you’re head over heels for this special someone.
When something like this happens to you and when you lose the ground under your feet just by looking at a person of the opposite sex, you’re convinced that this is fate.
Everything is like in the movies; you two look at each other and you think they’re the one you’ve been waiting your entire life, that you’ve finally met your soulmate and the one person you should spend the rest of your life with.
Well, I hate to be the one to burst your bubble but the truth is actually quite different. In fact, in most cases, this instant sexual attraction most people mistake with love at first sight is nothing but that—physical attraction and infatuation.
On the other hand, true love is something different and it is a longer and more complex process. I don’t know what fairy tales taught you but in real life, love needs to grow, it takes time and effort.
É preciso conhecer a pessoa real antes de poder dizer que a ama. É preciso chegar ao âmago da sua personalidade, encontrá-la em diferentes situações da vida e descobrir muito sobre ela antes de poder dizer que a ama verdadeiramente.
So, how can you actually love someone you had this instant chemistry with? Well, you can’t—you can only be infatuated by them and there is a huge difference between these two concepts.
Intimidade física vs. uma ligação mais profunda
I won’t lie to you—sex is a crucial part of every loving relationship and whoever tries to convince you otherwise is not telling the truth.
Isto é especialmente verdade se você e o seu parceiro não se estão a dar bem no quarto, porque estes problemas podem facilmente transferir-se para outros aspectos da vossa relação.
So, the difference in infatuation vs love doesn’t lie in the quality of your sex life; in both cases, it is an important aspect and something that should be constantly worked on.
No entanto, a principal diferença reside no nível de intimidade e no facto de a intimidade significar apenas sexo ou não.
Quando alguém é um objeto da sua paixão, a única forma de se relacionarem verdadeiramente é debaixo dos lençóis. Têm uma vida sexual fantástica, experimentam coisas novas, fazem experiências no quarto e são obviamente compatíveis nesta área da vossa relação.
No entanto, quando se trata de amor verdadeiro, percebe-se que, numa relação saudável, a intimidade é muito mais do que puro sexo. Você e o seu parceiro criam laços a níveis muito mais profundos do que apenas físicos.
You don’t resolve your arguments with sex, you don’t use every opportunity to get laid and your relationship simply doesn’t revolve around only that.
In fact, you two can spend an entire night, for example, holding hands and staring into each other’s eyes, without laying hands on one another and still have an amazing time.
When it comes to bedroom activities, you’re not only having sex—you’re making love every time you sleep together.
You’re both concerned about the other person’s needs as well and for the two of you, this act represents much more than pure physical pleasure—it is also a deeper connection which brings you two even closer and takes your relationship to a whole new level.
Borboletas vs. calma
Infatuation is addictive love. It’s a new love that hits you and takes over you completely before you even get a chance to realize what happened.
It is all about butterflies in your stomach you can’t get rid of, as much as you try. It is about excitement and the feeling as if you’re going to fly directly into space when your crush looks at you.
It is about fireworks and storms. It is the feeling that you can’t get yourself to go to sleep just because you know you’ll see the object of your affection the next day.
When you’re infatuated, you don’t see typical signs of love and you feel like you’re on drugs, like you couldn’t breathe without this person by your side and like they’re the only one you need to properly function in this world.
These strong emotions get the best of you; your palms are sweaty, you get tongue-tied and can’t even talk properly, your pupils get bigger, your voice shakes and this person is the only one you can ever think of.
The worst part is that this happens at all possible stages of your relationship. When they’re not around, you constantly miss them or when something is off, you’re worried about what will happen next.
On the other hand, when the two of you are together, you feel like you’re in seventh heaven for having them next to you and you can’t think straight because you’re consumed by the pleasure this person’s presence causes in you.
Sounds romantic, right? Well, it’s not—it is unhealthy and scary.
You two have obviously been dragged into a circle of codependency and this entire roller coaster of emotions makes you think that this is the real deal. Let me tell you that it’s not.
When you’re young, the last thing you want is a peaceful relationship without any ups and downs. You think of these couples as boring and you assume that their loving relationships have gotten into a rut, since they lost all the excitement.
However, as you get older and more mature, you understand that is what real love is all about—about the calmness. Yes, being in love makes you feel butterflies in your stomach but loving someone makes you feel at complete peace.
This person’s presence calms you down, makes you feel like you’re at home and like nothing and nobody could get to you. They become your harbor and your anchor, which keeps you safe against all the storms.
Curto prazo vs. longo prazo
Outra diferença crucial entre paixão e amor é a sua duração. Quanto tempo dura a vossa relação ou quanto tempo esperam que ela dure?
Embora a paixão seja um sentimento intenso, na realidade dura muito menos tempo do que o amor verdadeiro. O amor queima e simplesmente desaparece, como se nunca tivesse existido, sem deixar um rasto permanente na sua vida.
Don’t get me wrong—I’m not claiming that every true love interest lasts a lifetime. Sadly, some of them end and are not meant to be, despite all of your efforts to make things work.
However, the fact is that love doesn’t have an expiration date and even when it ends, it still remains important. It shapes you as a person and forever stays an unerasable part of who you are.
True love lasts for years and it doesn’t depend on your financial status, looks, friends, family, education or anything else; it just exists, despite everything.
It accepts all of your and your partner’s changes and it grows together with you in all of its selflessness.
Desafia o tempo e todos os outros obstáculos que a vida lhe possa colocar. É mais forte do que tudo o que se atravessa no seu caminho e não pode ser destruído por nada nem por ninguém.
Parece demasiado romântico, eu sei. No entanto, só pensamos assim até o experimentarmos e até vermos que é mesmo a verdade.
On the other hand, infatuation ends at the first glance of trouble. It replaces you with someone better and more convenient and it doesn’t put up a decent fight before dying off for good.
Ciúme vs. confiança
When you’re in love, it is natural for you to be scared of losing the person next to you so jealousy and possessiveness appear.
You’re ready to do whatever it takes to keep them around and you’re convinced you couldn’t live without them.
Tornamo-nos excessivamente controladores e pensamos que, ao comportarmo-nos como se fôssemos donos do objeto do nosso profundo afeto, impediremos que ele nos deixe.
No entanto, normalmente, acontece o contrário. Muitas vezes, obtém-se um efeito completamente contraproducente e acaba-se por afugentá-los.
On the other hand, when you truly love your partner, there is no place for jealousy or possessive behavior. Of course, you wouldn’t be indifferent if you, for example, see them kissing someone else but your fear of losing them doesn’t control you and is not at the center of your feelings for them.
You know that you can live without this person—you just don’t want to (contrary to addictive love, where you’re convinced you wouldn’t make it without the object of your infatuation).
You know you would eventually survive their absence—you just choose to fight for their presence every day.
Numa relação saudável como esta, a confiança mútua é uma das coisas mais importantes em que se baseia o vosso amor.
You don’t have the need to stalk your partner, to follow them around, to control their every move or to check up on them all the time simply because you trust that they wouldn’t do anything behind you back, even if they had a chance to.
Afinal de contas, se ele quer mesmo estar com outra pessoa, quem é você para o impedir? A última coisa que quereria é que ele ficasse ao seu lado enquanto pensa noutra pessoa ou enquanto o trai emocionalmente.
You see, one of the signs of love is its selflessness. You have such strong emotions for someone that you want them to be happy, even if that happiness doesn’t include you.
The same goes the other way around—it is not that you’re faithful because you’re scared of getting caught; you don’t cheat on them because you couldn’t imagine yourself next to someone else and because you would rather be alone than with anyone else.
Ressentimento vs. perdão
Ego is a huge part of relationships that are built upon infatuation. Whenever the other person does something you don’t like or hurts you in any way, you think about ways to pay them back and give them a taste of their own medicine.
You hold grudges forever and the resentment often eats you alive. You simply have to get even and you feel angered if you don’t get your revenge.
No entanto, quando se trata de amor, ambos estão conscientes de que o perdão é a chave para uma relação saudável.
I’m not saying that in this case scenario, you should allow the other person to walk over you all the time while you do nothing about it but you won’t plot your vengeance about every little thing just to fix your broken ego either.
In fact, when they apologize, you accept it and you two move on. You know they mean it when they tell you how sorry they are and you know that there is no point in constantly going back over the past if you’ve both agreed on leaving something behind you.
You don’t lie to them that you’ve managed to forgive them for their misdeeds just so you could get them on thin ice or pay them back.
Instead, you take your time and decide whether you’re really capable of forgetting about the episode which hurt you and move on, as if nothing happened.
Quando se trata de amor, faz-se o possível para compreender o parceiro, mesmo quando não se concorda com ele.
You don’t judge them and try walking a mile in their shoes in order to understand their reasons and in order to eventually forgive them.
You don’t let your emotional baggage ruin your relationship and you keep an open heart to all possible solutions which will bring progress to your romance.
Paixão vs. amizade
When you’re infatuated by someone, you see them as nothing but your lover and romantic partner. At first sight, you assume that this is more than enough and that a healthy relationship shouldn’t bring you anything more than that.
However, only once you experience true love do you understand the importance of other things. You realize that your loved one shouldn’t be your lover only—they should be your best friend as well.
You understand the real meaning of partnership. This is your person, your partner in crime and your other half—the first person you go to when you’re in trouble or when you need advice or guidance.
É alguém que nos faz rir, que tem a capacidade de enxugar todas as nossas lágrimas, que pode iluminar o nosso dia mais negro e que é o nosso familiar mais querido e o nosso melhor amigo em todo o mundo.
O seu parceiro torna-se o seu confidente e a pessoa com quem mais gosta de passar o tempo. É alguém a quem pode contar os seus segredos mais obscuros, sem medo de ser julgado, alguém que o ouve e que partilha os seus interesses.
Without losing your individuality, the two of you become an item and function together. You’re not just a romantic couple—you’re a team and you go against the world.
Idealização vs. aceitação
Outra diferença crucial entre amor e paixão reside na perceção que você e o seu parceiro têm um do outro. É a diferença entre expectativas realistas e irrealistas em relação à vossa relação.
When you’re infatuated by another person, you only love the best version of them and you don’t dig under the multiple layers of their personalidade complexa.
You’re not concerned by their flaws and you don’t even put any effort into trying to get to know their dark side, which we all have, simply because you don’t care enough.
The same goes the other way; you always try to look your best in front of your partner, to have a smile on your face and to be in the best of moods, even when you’re actually at your lowest.
You don’t bother this person with your financial problems or family emergencies, you don’t share your troubles with them and you don’t let them in all the way.
Consequentemente, ambos acabam por se idealizar um ao outro, romantizando toda a vossa relação e pensando que tudo é muito melhor do que é na realidade.
However, when it comes to love, you accept the person next to you completely. You are not wearing rose-tinted glasses and you don’t think of them as some superhuman who is never cranky, nervous or in a bad mood.
You don’t try to change them and you’re completely aware of their imperfections. Not only that—you love them for those imperfections because you’re aware that they also shaped them into the person they are today.
You don’t expect this person to be flawless and you are completely fine with everything their personality and appearance consist of.
Instead, you love them for who they really are and you wouldn’t change any part of their character, even if you had a chance to.
When real love is in question, you and your partner care for each other the same at your best and at your worst. You don’t try to put each other in a box and you have realistic expectations of your relationship.
Drama vs. compromisso
If you’re infatuated with another person, you experience strong feelings regarding everything about them. You enjoy the constant tension in your relationship and you even find it cute.
You see the fact that you and your loved one can’t get along as signs of strong chemistry and steaming passion.
Vocês os dois discutem e fazem um escândalo por cada pequena coisa. Afinal, o sexo de maquilhagem é sempre mais selvagem depois de a discussão ter terminado.
What you clearly fail to see is that the two of you might share some intense feelings but that we’re not talking about love but of deep affection and sexual attraction, since you are obviously not compatible enough to have a healthy, mature romantic relationship.
Don’t get me wrong—I’m not saying that couples who don’t fight don’t share intense emotions or that those who love each other don’t fight. They most certainly do but their arguments are never without a point and they don’t create drama over nothing.
In fact, their fights are always as productive as possible and they use them as learning points to make their relationship better. They are aware that they’re on the same team and it is always them against the problem, never them against each other.
When you love your partner, you are aware of the importance of compromise. You see your relationship as a two-way street and you’re both ready to put in your maximum effort to make things work.
Neste cenário, não há lugar para o ego ou para o aumento da autoestima e nunca importa quem está certo ou errado.
You don’t compete in who won more arguments and the only important thing is to find a solution that will suit both of you and will be best for the future of your relationship.
