É assim que se reconhece um homem destroçado e com bagagem emocional

Quando se ouve falar de homens desfeitos, parte-se do princípio de que se é capaz de os reconhecer imediatamente, à primeira vista. Assume que este tipo de homem nunca a poderia enganar e que, pelo menos, a sua intuição lhe diria que algo estava errado.

But trust me—that couldn’t be further from the truth.

When you first meet a damaged guy who carries a lot of emotional baggage within himself, you will have no idea about everything he’s been through. Instead, he will act like any other guy.

Actually, he even might act better than any man you’ve met before him. You might think you’ve finally found the man of your dreams and that he is everything you’ve been waiting for.

But as time goes by, you’ll see some sinais de que ele está quebrado. You’ll see that there is something bothering him, deeply hidden inside of him. And you’ll try to figure out what this is.

Apesar de cada indivíduo ser diferente, todos os homens quebrados têm algumas coisas em comum.

Antes de mais, este homem será provavelmente misterioso consigo. Ele será reservado em relação ao seu passado e às suas emoções.

At first, you’ll assume he is just pretending to be this tough guy and that he might not be in touch with his feelings. You’ll think that he is afraid of looking too desperate and less of a man in front of you and that is why he pretends to be cold.

But you’ll try very hard to get to the bottom of this. You’ll want to know what is hiding behind this mask and you’ll want to meet the man who is hidden deep inside of this guy. You’ll want to meet the real him.

E embora o seu lado misterioso devesse afugentar-te, na verdade vai aproximar-te ainda mais dele.

You’ll see that this guy is cold toward everyone and you’ll have the urge to change that. You’ll have the urge to prove to him and to yourself that you can become special to him—that you can be the only person in this world he trusts and can open up to.

You’ll think he is special and his love is special, because he apparently isn’t giving it away to just anyone who comes into his life.

Mesmo quando se aceita que ele está emocionalmente afetado, you’ll want to prove that you are the only one worthy of his love and trust. You’ll want to prove to yourself that you have a special place in his life, that you are different from everyone else and that you’ll manage to do some things nobody before you has.

You’ll never know much about this guy’s dating history, about his traumas from the past, about his trust issues, his insecurities or his anxiety and depression.

Whenever this guy feels bad, he’ll want you to stay away. He might simply disappear on you, wanting some time for himself because he feels like he can’t trust anyone and that he can solve his problems on his own.

Embora no início este homem possa fingir que tem muita confiança, a verdade é que, no fundo, ele sente que não é suficientemente bom para si. A verdade é que ele é emocionalmente inseguro e que se compara a todos os outros homens, mas tenta disfarçar.

You’ll never know his weaknesses and you’ll rarely see his vulnerable side. Pode pensar que ele tem vergonha de lhe mostrar este lado dele, mas a verdade é que ele tem medo.

This guy is terrified to give you his heart and to open up to you, because he is certain you’ll use all of this against him, despite the fact that you’ve never done anything that could make him think or feel this way.

Sei que esta é a última coisa que ele quer que saiba, mas a verdade é que este homem sofre de um trauma de abandono. A verdade é que ele foi magoado e prejudicado no passado e perdeu a confiança nas pessoas, especialmente nas mulheres.

It’s simple—he assumes that every woman who comes into his life will break him even more and will hurt him the same way someone toxic from his past did.

Por isso, criou um escudo, uma fachada para se proteger de toda a gente, o que o tornou emocionalmente indisponível.

And you’ll have to be pretty damn special to change that.