As mulheres que ficam solteiras durante mais tempo acabam por ser mais felizes consigo próprias, com as suas vidas e com as suas relações e, por defeito, com os seus casamentos.

Têm tempo para ver as coisas com mais clareza; coisas que as pessoas à sua volta fazem e que, na mesma situação, fariam de forma diferente.

They learn from other people’s mistakes as well as from their own, and they lead more productive lives. They have had the chance to really get to know themselves and take some valuable lessons along with them.

Falo por experiência própria. Já fui um desses “forever single women”. We really do thrive in life and love. And it’s mostly because of things that we have learned while everyone else was getting married:

1. Don’t ever settle

The single life has its perks, but it can also get really lonely. It’s easy to fall into the trap of settling for just anybody because of it. Our desire for closeness and connection can be really strong.

But we should wait and look at things more rationally. It’s better to be alone than in bad company. It’s better to live in peace than taking a ride on an emotional rollercoaster.

We shouldn’t settle for mediocre relationships and half-assed commitment just because we are tired of being alone. We will only make everything worse and essentially hurt more in the long run.

2. Os encontros modernos são os piores, mas também nos ensinam muito

Meeting a good, decent guy these days is like hitting the jackpot. Those guys have become so rare that it’s almost like they are an endangered species.

Na minha vida colorida de encontros, conheci muitos homens que não valiam o meu tempo. Desperdiçaram o meu tempo, enganaram-me e, por vezes, fizeram-me querer desistir completamente dos encontros.

However, they also taught me valuable lessons. They taught me what I don’t want and what I shouldn’t tolerate. They taught me I should wait for something better than them.

Ver também: I Hate Waiting…That’s Why I Suck At Modern Dating

3. Correr atrás dos teus sonhos é mais importante do que casar

Se nos casarmos e não formos felizes com quem somos, estamos condenados a ser infelizes. Vi este cenário desenrolar-se mais vezes do que posso contar.

Acho que algumas mulheres pensam que uma relação estável ou um casamento as vai tornar completas. Por isso, esquecem-se de si próprias. Deixam de lado os seus sonhos e ambições.

Fulfilling your dreams and being in a happy relationship shouldn’t exclude one another. There is room for both, and you should never, under no circumstances, give up your dreams.

4. Valoriza as tuas amizades

As relações vêm e vão, os casamentos por vezes desfazem-se, mas os verdadeiros amigos ficam connosco para sempre. Ter alguns bons amigos na sua vida não tem preço.

They will be by your side through thick or thin. You are each other’s rocks and support systems, and you can’t find that in just anybody. Great friends better each other’s lives.

Even if your friends get married before you do, you won’t lose them. They remain a huge part of your life, with a few minor adjustments and accommodations. Anyone who says otherwise is a liar.

5. Tens de te conhecer melhor antes de pensares em casar

Learning to put a smile on your own face should be one of your first life goals. You can’t rely on anybody else to bring you happiness—nor is that their job. That’s all in your hands.

As pessoas cuja única fonte de alegria na vida é o seu parceiro tornam-se co-dependente. Dependem do seu parceiro para tudo e a relação torna-se pouco saudável. Mais cedo ou mais tarde, este tipo de relações acaba.

So, build your life independently of your partner. Let him be the one who adds to your bliss, not the one who creates it. That’s the only way you will have a happy and healthy relationship and marriage.

6. Listen to that “little voice” inside of you

I think most of us are guilty of silencing that little voice inside of us when it’s telling us something we don’t want to hear. We go against our better judgment, and we usually end up in tears.

We all need to pay better attention to that little voice inside of us and trust our guts—they usually never fail.

7. Getting married won’t solve your problems

Comece por si próprio. Desenvolva a sua confiança. Encontre algo que o apaixone e comece a construir uma vida de que se orgulhe.

Getting married or entering a relationship won’t change the fact that you are unsatisfied with your life or with yourself. It will only make things worse.

If your outlook on marriage is that it is meant to solve your problems, you will find out soon enough that isn’t true. You will only become more bitter and unsatisfied because you won’t see your way out.