Estou a aprender lentamente a deixar ir as pessoas que não me valorizam

My whole life, I’ve been thinking that I shouldn’t give up on people. I believed that once someone walked into my life, I should do everything I could to keep them.

Estava sempre a pensar que as pessoas que entram na minha vida precisam de ficar lá. Mas não fazes ideia de como eu estava errado.

Fui tão ingénua ao pensar que todos os que aparecem merecem um lugar na minha vida e merecem um lugar no meu coração, que acabei sempre quebrada, traída e vazia. A pior parte é que fui eu que fiz isto a mim própria.

Continuei a magoar-me por não ser capaz de aceitar o facto de que nem todas as pessoas que amo me amam de volta.

Para mim, não era real que as pessoas nos devolvessem a tristeza quando lhes oferecíamos um cesto cheio de amor.

I couldn’t wrap my head around it. Why would anyone want to bring me down when all I ever did was be good to them?

It took me a while, a few heartbreaks too many and a few lonely nights when I cried myself to sleep to realize that there are people born mean. And there isn’t a heart big enough to change them.

Pensei que os podia mudar, but I couldn’t. I thought if I showed them how love felt then they would decide to be good, but they didn’t. And then I got lost.

I had no idea what to do. I just couldn’t understand how they could live their lives like that, so I kept giving and they kept taking my love and my kindness without ever giving me anything in return. Not that I asked, but still…

One day, I just couldn’t do it anymore. One day, I got so tired and so worn out that I struggled climbing out of bed.

Odiava-me por ser tão fraca e não tinha mais amor para dar a ninguém.

Ao certificar-me de que todos os outros eram amados, esqueci-me, algures no caminho, de me amar a mim próprio.

E quando eu tentava fazer o meu melhor para ser bom para as pessoas à minha volta, elas faziam o seu melhor para me usar o mais possível.

E depois viraram-me as costas assim que viram que já não tinham utilidade para mim. Será que isto pode piorar?

After being emotionally drained, after doing my best for people who hadn’t deserved my best in any way, after being alone when that was the last thing I needed, it occurred to me that sometimes you have to be your own hero and guard your heart.

Because, sometimes, people you can’t picture your life without can live normally without you.

I’m slowly learning that just because I love someone, it doesn’t mean they’re good for me.

Just because I’d like to have someone in my life doesn’t mean they deserve to be there. Just because I do my best to be there for people, it doesn’t mean they value me. Because some people won’t love me no matter what I do.

But I haven’t lost my hope completely. Because I know that some people won’t stop loving me no matter what I do. I’m slowly learning to distinguish these two kinds of people.

I’m learning that even though there are things we don’t want to happen, they’re bound to happen and there is nothing we can do to avoid them.

I’m slowly learning that there are things I don’t want to know, but life will teach me them anyway.

I’m slowly learning that there are people I love, but whom I have to let go because they do me no good.

I’m slowly learning to let go of the people who don’t value me and I’m learning that I’m not giving up on them, but rather I’m doing myself a tremendous favor.

I don’t want to hold on anymore just because I think there will be no one else. I’m slowly learning that there will always be someone else to whom I’m going to be good enough.

I’m learning that I’m worth more than repeatedly being hurt by someone who doesn’t really care about me.

I’m learning to trust my future and that there will be someone who’ll see me for my true worth and who’ll treat me the way I should be treated.

I’m learning to guard my heart and I’m learning not to allow others who did me wrong make me think there is something wrong with me. I’m learning not to devalue myself just because someone else didn’t value me.

I’m reminding myself that I’m worthy, that no one else can determine my worth and that I’m worthy even if others don’t really see it.

At this point, I’ve figured out that I’ve done too much for others and that the only next possible step is to stop. I’m learning to let go of the people who don’t value me and I’m walking away.

Because no matter how much I care, they’re never gonna care for me. No matter how well I behave toward them, they’ll never return the favor or decide to be good to someone else.

No matter how selfless I am, they’ll never stop being selfish. So I’m letting go.

I’m letting go of all the toxic, narcissistic, selfish and self-centered people in my life. I’m done giving my love, time, kindness and whatnot to those who don’t appreciate it.

Regardless of the amount of love I feel toward them, I’m letting them go.

I’m slowly escorting them away from my life and I’m learning that it is better to break your own heart once than to allow others to continuously break your trust, heart and your expectations.

I’m learning that not all people who walk into my life are meant to stay. Some of them are only meant to teach me a lesson, such as to let go of those who don’t value me.