Cansado de ser solteiro? 10 dicas para abraçar a sua vida de solteiro

As fotografias bonitas de casais felizes nas redes sociais, os filmes românticos e a pressão dos seus amigos e familiares mais próximos em relação ao seu estatuto de solteiro contribuem para que se sinta cansado de ser solteiro.

Não importa o que faças ou onde vás, todas as pequenas coisas começam a lembrar-te do teu estatuto de solteiro. E cansamo-nos disso!

Cansamo-nos de todos aqueles lembretes merdosos de que as únicas pessoas que são verdadeiramente felizes são as que têm relações românticas.

And even though you know that’s not true, you still get irritated about your single life and you wish things were different.

But I’ll tell you one thing: O estado da relação não é uma medida de felicidade!

Just because you’re not in a relationship (yet), it doesn’t mean you should feel tired or lonely or excluded from society.

The only reason why you’re still single at the moment is that you’re ought to be. Each person has their own unique path and being single is a part of your journey!

Whenever you’re feeling tired of being single, here are 10 things to help you understand and embrace your single life:

1. Don’t lose hope

Toneladas de gelado, sessões de ciúmes imaginários em relação a casais, sentir-se só e cansado do seu estatuto de solteiro. This is probably how you’ve been feeling lately, right?

And that’s more than okay! It’s totally fine to feel shitty from time to time, even when you have no valid reason for that.

It’s totally okay to lose hope from time to time because you’re surrounded by all those happy couples and worried that you’ll never find the One.

However, it’s not okay to feel like that every single day of your life. You shouldn’t lose hope no matter how shitty you feel about being single.

Instead, you should open your eyes and realize that this is not a curse and you’re not missing anything in your life. Everything that happens in our life is in tune with time.

Every single one of us has our own unique timeline and you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be at the moment!

2. There’s probably a reason why you’re single at the moment

We’re often unaware of this one but you know what they say: Tudo acontece por uma razão. Pode negá-lo, ignorá-lo e não acreditar nele, mas continuará a ser verdade.

There’s probably a reason why you’re single at the moment and those reasons vary from working on yourself to focusing on your career.

Perhaps you’ve neglected your passions, which made you feel like you’re missing something in your life.

All these things can make you feel unfulfilled to the extent of thinking that the only reason why you’re feeling the way you’re feeling is because you’re still single.

Convencemo-nos de que, quando conhecermos a nossa cara-metade, nos sentiremos finalmente livres e completos.

Sim, mas só quando já estiveres completo sem eles.

Being single is the right time to address all your issues and work on yourself because the only time you’ll be able to love others and be in a happy relationship is when you learn to love yourself first!

3. It’s better to be single than with the wrong person

One of my good friends recently complained to me that she’ll never meet a homem simpático porque todos os bons já devem ter sido apanhados.

Por isso, está convencida de que acabará por ter uma relação com uma pessoa de merda.

E a minha resposta foi: Why do you even worry about that? Remember that it’s better to be single than with the wrong person!

As pessoas que estão cansadas de ser solteiras esquecem-se muitas vezes do facto de que ser solteiro é dez vezes melhor do que estar com a pessoa errada.

E se toda a gente à sua volta tiver alguém? E se todos os seus amigos e familiares estiverem numa relação feliz ou casados?

This doesn’t mean that you won’t meet your special one someday and this doesn’t mean you should enter a relationship with just anyone just for the title of being in a relationship.

It’s better to be single and happy than miserable in a relationship.

4. Em vez de se preocupar em sair com os outros, comece a sair consigo próprio

If you’re tired of being single but also tired of dating, you shouldn’t force yourself. Instead, you should start dating yourself!

Now, you’re probably wondering how one can date themselves when dating is a concept that includes two people. Well, it’s not (I mean, not necessarily).

Pode namorar consigo próprio da mesma forma que namora com os outros, mas fá-lo sozinho.

Este é também um aspeto importante da sua saúde mental, porque namorar consigo próprio significa aprender a gostar de passar tempo consigo próprio.

Pode ir a um restaurante, ao cinema, tomar uma bebida, dar um passeio ou fazer um piquenique consigo próprio. Em vez de se preocupar em sair com os outros, deve fazer coisas consigo mesmo.

Passar tempo sozinho e fazer coisas sozinho também são partes importantes do autocuidado.

Once you learn to enjoy spending time with yourself, you’ll never even think about dating others (at least, for the time being).

5. Don’t lower your standards when meeting new people

Even if you’re not feeling stressed out about dating, you still need to remember one thing and that is: Nunca, mas nunca, baixem os vossos padrões, aconteça o que acontecer.

Se pensa que a única forma de conhecer pessoas que são material de relacionamento é baixando os seus padrões, então pense novamente.

Maybe this will help you to enter a relationship but will you be truly happy once you lower your standards? I don’t think so.

You’re probably familiar with the existing and new dating apps like Tinder that have made online dating a must if you’re single (but have also increased the chances of meeting toxic people).

When going on a date for the first time with someone you just met, keep in mind to preserve your standard levels. Don’t find excuses for their shitty behavior or personality.

Por mais aborrecidos que sejam os primeiros encontros, baixar os seus padrões é uma receita certa para o desastre. Alguns dos melhores conselhos sobre encontros para todas as pessoas solteiras são os seguintes:

Stay consistent with yourself and maintain your standards because that’s the only sure path to true happiness!

Ver também: Fique solteiro até atingir estes 10 objectivos de vida

6. Aprender a gostar da sua própria companhia é uma receita para não se sentir só

Being alone and feeling lonely have become two interconnected terms lately but they don’t really have to be. Being alone has nothing to do with sentir-se só e tudo está na tua cabeça!

Just because you’re a single woman or man, this doesn’t mean you should feel lonely.

As a matter of fact, the reason why you’re feeling lonely is that you haven’t learned to enjoy spending time with yourself.

That’s why you’re convinced that the only way to not feel lonely is to be with someone in a relationship. But the truth is otherwise.

O amor-próprio é a força mais poderosa do universo e um assassino da solidão!

Once you learn to love yourself and enjoy your own company, you’ll see that all this time, the key to happiness was buried within you.

You will no longer feel this void in your soul and you’ll understand that it is possible to be alone and not to feel lonely. After all, every single one of us came into the world alone.

This doesn’t mean that we don’t need any other human being but it means that we’re perfectly capable of doing things on our own and enjoying our own company.

Significa que temos a capacidade de ser felizes enquanto esperamos pela coisa certa!

7. Exprima as suas paixões e passe tempo com as pessoas certas

Outro fator que mata a solidão é a paixão. Aprender a exprimir as suas paixões ajudá-lo-á a entrar em sintonia consigo próprio e a esquecer o seu estatuto de solteiro.

Instead of only watching Netflix, now is the time to work on expressing yourself. It’s time to ask yourself what it is that makes you feel alive and happy.

Quais são as actividades que enchem o seu coração de calor e inspiração? Gosta de desenhar, cantar, cozinhar, dançar ou criar arte?

Whatever it is, if it’s something that makes you happy while doing it, then it’s your passion and you should focus on doing it as much as you can.

Além disso, deve passar tempo com as pessoas certas; com aqueles que o amam e o compreendem.

Instead of only focusing on what’s missing in your life, focus on embracing what you already have!

8. Encontrar o lado bom da vida dentro de si

Sempre que penso no positivismo, lembro-me imediatamente desta poderosa citação de The Silver Linings Playbook de Matthew Quick:

“You know what? EXCELSIOR, EXCELSIOR! It means you know what I’m gonna do, I’m gonna take all this negativity and use it as fuel and I’m gonna find a silver lining, that’s what I’m gonna do. And that’s no bullshit. That’s no bullshit. That takes work and that’s the truth.”

Encontrar um lado positivo significa encontrar um aspeto positivo em todas as situações. Por isso, use todo esse cansaço de ser solteiro como combustível para encontrar um lado positivo!

I also suggest watching this amazing movie or reading the book (if you haven’t yet).

9. Em vez de se concentrar em encontrar o Únicoconcentrar-se em viver o momento

Viver o momento é uma das coisas mais inspiradoras que pode fazer por si e pelos outros.

Instead of focusing on chasing what you don’t have (yet), focus on living in the moment and appreciating what’s in front of you.

Life is a miracle. Just because you’re still single, this doesn’t mean you should feel less worthy or you should be persistent in finding the One at any cost.

A vida é um verdadeiro milagre e viver o momento é a única maneira de viver a vida ao máximo.

After a year or more, you’ll laugh to yourself at all the things that bothered you now.

You’ll realize that being single and gozar a vida é uma das maiores dádivas, se a aceitarmos como tal!

10. Manter-se paciente

And the most important tip: Stay patient! Remember what we said about the timeline and that everything happens for a reason? Keep that one in mind because it’s the only truth.

No matter how much you’re tired of being single, you need to stay patient!

If you do things on impulse, you’ll risk being unhappy. But if you stay patient, time will reward you.

Lembrem-se que as coisas boas vêm para aqueles que esperam!