É por isso que deves ser sempre a pessoa maior

When your real friends tell you to be the bigger person, they’re saying that you should always find the força no coração para perdoar aqueles que te fizeram mal, e eleva-te acima de todas as tuas experiências negativas.

Para ser o pessoa maior significa que, por muito que alguém nos magoe, não guardamos ressentimentos em relação a essa pessoa. 

You’ll find some kind of justification for those who have broken your heart, made your life miserable, or even abused you in any way. 

It doesn’t matter whether we’re talking about your ex, high school friend, coworker, or family member, the bottom line is pretty much the same: You should take the moral high ground and let positivity take over you.

You’re more than someone who wants revenge for all the pain you’ve suffered. You’re above holding grudges or giving someone a taste of their own medicine.

Instead, whenever another person does you harm, you should understand them in a way, move on, and get over whatever it is they’ve done to you.

Um sendo o pessoa maior quote says: “Don’t treat people as bad as they are. Treat them as good you are.”

Sounds almost perfect, doesn’t it? However, what happens when the person who hurt you doesn’t deserve you treating them this way?

O que é que acontece quando o seu agressor vê o seu perdão como uma luz verde para continuar a quebrá-lo? Quando ele te vê a aceitar a estrada alta como uma aprovação da sua comportamento tóxico? 

From one point of view, you behaving like this should have a therapeutic effect on the other party as well. They’re expected to admire your reaction, which will make them ashamed of their own actions.

Neste cenário, a pessoa que destruiu a sua vida será devorada pela culpa. Acabará por pedir desculpa pelos seus erros ou, no mínimo, por se excluir da sua vida. 

No entanto, infelizmente, as coisas podem tomar um rumo completamente diferente.

Em vez de ter um enorme respeito pela sua capacidade de perdoar, na maioria dos casos, a pessoa tóxica começa a considerá-lo um idiota a quem pode continuar a fazer coisas más.

Eles tomá-lo por garantido e esperam que os perdoes, independentemente do que eles te façam. Afinal de contas, o seu amor incondicional por eles é óbvio. 

Quando se passa por uma experiência destas, também se começa a ver a si próprio como estúpido. 

All this time, you’ve been always the forgiving one – the one who’s walked away from arguments and tried to understand whoever’s hurt you – without looking for ways to pay them back. 

However, rarely has anyone appreciated it. Instead, they’ve kept playing and using you. So naturally, you’ve given up.

You’ve decided that the only way to survive this harsh world is to blend in with the masses. You have no other options but to become just like everyone else in your surroundings. 

You simply have no more strength to give away your unlimited forgiveness to those who have never deserved it. You’ve stopped accepting the non-apologies and  praying for your heart to soften up. 

Well, I’m here to tell you that you’re making the mistake of your life if you don’t change your ways. In fact I’m begging you: Be the pessoa maior, no matter who or what you’re dealing with.

At first, you may think you’re doing all of this for the sake of the other party with a toxic vibe.

You want to show them that you’re above them and would never stoop to their level, despite the fact that you’re the damaged one. 

Naturally, you think to yourself that your positivity and forgiveness are the last things they deserve. After everything this person has put you through, no one’s expecting you to wipe their slate clean.

Só que é exatamente isso que se deve fazer. Claro que perdoar é uma coisa e esquecer é outra.

Nobody is telling you that you have to welcome them back in your life and pretend that everything is in perfect order. Instead, just be the better person and don’t play their game. 

Don’t misunderstand me. I’m not giving you this advice because the pessoas tóxicas na sua vida deserve it. Don’t be the bigger man to make things easier for them.

Don’t behave like this because it’s the right thing to do either. Don’t do it because it’s expected of you or just because you want to prove a point to someone else, including the one who hurt you.

Em vez disso, faça-o por si, pois é uma das raras coisas que diferenciam as pessoas más das boas. 

Do it because it will serve as proof that you never had the same vibe as them and that they didn’t manage to pollute you with their evil.

Como prova de que nunca conseguirão alcançar o vosso moral elevada. 

Most importantly, be the better person because, at the end of the day, it’s the only way to free yourself from their chains – the only way for you to finally start your process of deixar ir e seguir em frente sem qualquer bagagem a pesar.

It’s the best thing you could ever do for your self-esteem.

Façam-no porque vos libertará da sua toxicidade. Porque vos purificará e vos trará paz.

É que, sendo o pessoa maior doesn’t mean becoming someone’s capacho. Instead, it’s about not allowing anger, resentment, and other negative emotions to take the best of you.

It doesn’t mean being blind or stupid. In fact, it means being smart enough to choose your battles wisely and know how to get rid of pettiness.

It doesn’t make you a coward who backs out. On the contrary, it makes you a hero. It makes you emotionally intelligent to the point where you can redirect your energy in the right direction. 

It’s about not allowing the bitterness to turn you into someone you essentially aren’t. About not giving this person even more importance by allowing them to change the core of your personality. 

Confia em mim. Este é o caminho a seguir. No fim do dia, tomando a estrada alta é a única forma de a vossa consciência ser cristalina. 

It’s the only way for you to leave this painful situation being proud of yourself and of the fruits of your trabalho próprio. A única forma de se sentir melhor e de reforçar a sua autoestima. 

That said, your real friends will never blame you if you don’t have the strength to be the bigger person just yet. After all, you’re just a human being and it’s perfectly normal to have a vengeful part of yourself. 

Ninguém o julgará por não ser capaz de controlar os seus impulsos e emoções em todos os momentos. No entanto, deve esforçar-se por ser o melhor homem.