Nem toda a gente vai gostar de ti e não faz mal que assim seja

“Not everyone is going to like you. Don’t let it phase you.” – Unknown

Before I say anything else, I feel like I should be honest with you (that doesn’t mean the rest of what I say will be a lie). 

I humbly and wholeheartedly admit that I’m one of those individuals who have spent (better said wasted) half of their lives worrying about what other people think and whether they’re going to like me or not. 

Queria ser adorado e apreciado pelos outros, tanto na vida real como no mundo virtual redes sociaisPor isso, eu estava literalmente pronto a fazer QUALQUER COISA se isso significasse ganhar a sua aprovação. 

Demorei algum tempo a perceber que, ao fazer tudo isto, me estava a privar de autoestima and I’d become a legit agradar às pessoas. I’d lost touch with my true self and become devoid of personality. 

I used to dance to other people’s tunes, but now I’m creating my own.

Falando de um dos mais valiosos lições de vida that no one teaches you at school. I no longer worry about being everyone’s chávena de chá, being judged, or gossiped about and I’ve never been happier!

Cada um de nós pode optar por adotar um destes dois princípios fundamentais: 

a) Não me preocupar com o que os outros pensam ou com o facto de gostarem de mim.

b) Preocupar-se com o que os outros pensam e procurar ativamente a sua aprovação.

Se me perguntarem, o primeiro princípio provou ser o mais eficiente e livre de stress, enquanto o segundo é um atalho para acabar num ciclo, diminuindo a sua autoestimae não ter o controlo da sua vida própria.

A verdade é que nem toda a gente vai gostar de si e isso não é algo com que se deva preocupar. 

Como superar o facto de que nem todos vão gostar de si 

Questionar porque é que precisa que todos gostem de si e o aprovem

Instagram, Facebook, Twitter e outros redes sociais Todas as aplicações têm uma coisa em comum: Queremos ser vistos, seguidos, retweetados, elogiados e por aí fora. O mesmo acontece na vida real. 

Por outras palavras: We want to be liked because it’s in our natureza humana (and that’s totally okay). 

But, sometimes this becomes an addiction and we’re no longer in control of it.

Dá por si a preocupar-se com os seguintes tipos de coisas? Why didn’t he/she like my publicação anterior? Why don’t they approve of my style / ideas / habits? 

Em caso afirmativo, deve questionar-se porque é que tem tendência para o fazer. Esta situação está normalmente relacionada com uma baixa autoestima e a falta de atenção dos pais durante a infância. 

Ao questioná-lo, descobrirá qual é a verdadeira razão por detrás da sua necessidade de ser apreciado e aprovado por todos. É claro que, uma vez identificada a razão, é preciso começar a trabalhar nela. 

Trabalhar para desenvolver uma melhor relação consigo próprio

Em vez de tentar agradar a todos os pessoa solteira you come into contact with, you need to start working on winning your own approval. You’ll do that by desenvolver uma melhor relação consigo próprio.

This doesn’t mean that you should only focus on positive things about yourself, but you need to be realistic. You can make a list of things you like about yourself and things you would like to improve.

And that’s the real definition of who you REALLY are! When you accept yourself for who you are and do your best every day, you won’t bother with what other people are saying or thinking about you. 

Think about all those people YOU don’t like

I really love this one because we seldom think about it, but it rings true to the core! Pause for a moment and think about the people in your life that you don’t really like. 

Now, think about why you don’t like them. Perhaps it’s because they have a weird way of expressing themselves, they are rude, loud, or shy.

O passo seguinte é perguntar a si próprio se isso é algo que pode mudar ou algo que o incomoda realmente? 

Penso que a sua resposta é a seguinte: No, this is not something I can influence and it’s none of my business. I just don’t like them and that’s all. 

You see, that’s the exact same thing someone who doesn’t like you would say as well.

The truth is, not everyone is going to like you and vice versa. It’s a simples facto that you need to ACCEPT as it’s the only way to ultrapassar isso. 

Decifrar a diferença entre crenças e a verdade real

Diferentes tipos de pessoas como o caixa do mercearia, o seu escola secundária pares, colegas e melhores amigos todos vos vêem de uma forma diferente.

Todos eles têm crenças sobre as pessoas que os rodeiam e essas crenças não são necessariamente a verdade real. 

Lembro-me da minha ensino médio “adventures” when I wasn’t liked by some students, so they would spread lies about me. But, I didn’t really care about it because my amigos íntimos e eu sabia a verdade. 

And that’s what you need to do as well! Always decipher the difference between their beliefs and the truth.

As únicas pessoas que sabem a verdade real são tu e aqueles que te conhecem e amo-te por quem realmente és.

You shouldn’t bother with what some irrelevant person in your life thinks about you if you yourself know whether their assumptions are valid or just plain wrong.

Verificar a situação

Antes de ficar mal-humorado ou frustrado com alguma coisa, avalie primeiro a situação.

Let’s say that you found a novo emprego and you’re trying hard to make a good impression, so you work extra hours and do your best every day. 

Passado algum tempo, repara que o seu colega de trabalho doesn’t like you and now you’re wondering about what you have done wrong.

Antes de tirar conclusões precipitadas, é necessário verificar toda a situação de uma perspetiva diferente.

Chances are high that this colleague feels threatened by you because you’re diligent, organized, and determined and now you’re making them feel bad about themselves because they are the total opposite of you.

Tenho vontade de repetir: Not everyone is going to like you and that’s totally okay!

Ver também: Como deixar de procurar a validação dos outros para começar a prosperar

You’re not everyone’s cup of tea and this doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you

The biggest mistake that many people make is thinking that not being liked by someone means there’s something wrong with them. 

Quer dizer, vivemos no século XXI e estamos a evoluir todos os dias, o que resulta em mais diversidade, coisas novas, novas personalidades, etc.

Neither you or I are everyone’s chávena de chá e isso não é algo com que nos devamos preocupar.

I’m an introvert who gets easily drained by social events and you might be an extrovert who likes partying and social gatherings and this doesn’t make either of us RIGHT or WRONG. 

This doesn’t mean you should change yourself for the sake of namorar introvertidos ou ser apreciado e aceite por mais pessoas.

Apenas temos preferências diferentes e tudo o que podemos fazer é aceitá-lo e seguir em frente. 

Don’t take it personally

If there’s one thing you should really MEMORIZE from this entire article, it is the following: Don’t let someone else’s a opinião define-o!

Just because someone doesn’t approve of your style or choices, you shouldn’t get offended by it. You can respect their opinion, but never let it define you. 

Don’t take things personally because you will waste your life thinking about what other people think instead of doing things you enjoy. 

You have the right to express your opinion even if it is different from other people’s and if they don’t like it, you shouldn’t take it personally.

That’s the real beauty of being who you are and nourishing your true self. Respecting other people’s opinions, but not letting them define you.

You’re allowed to be who you are

Sim! Tu és tu e não existe outro TU em todo o universo. Tens todo o direito de ser quem és porque, ao fazê-lo, trazes diversidade e beleza ao mundo.

Agora imagine que cada um de nós era igual e tinha medo de ser diferente.

It would be really hard to differentiate ourselves or fall in love with someone when we’re all the same (and we would certainly die of boredom). 

Be proud of who you are and don’t be afraid to express yourself in every aspect of your life. If you’re a girl and you want to wear tomboy clothes (even though they are considered unfeminine), then do it!

If you’re a guy and you’re afraid of exprimir as suas emoções porque é considerado feminino, mas mesmo assim fá-lo!

If this is who you are and if you’re comfortable with it, there’s absolutely no reason why you shouldn’t be YOU.

Don’t overthink it

Don’t let other people’s potential opinion make you anxious about your own actions. Just remind yourself of the fact that there are also people you don’t like and it is not a big deal, right?

So, why would you overthink if someone else doesn’t like you? When you put it that way, it sounds really funny. But, we human beings like to complicate things even when we’re offered an easy way out. 

Relaxe, respire fundo e pergunte a si próprio o seguinte: Será que daqui a cinco anos ainda estarei a preocupar-me com estas mesmas coisas? 

Let me answer this one for you: You won’t! The truth is, you won’t remember any of it. 

Right now it might seem like a big deal if someone doesn’t like you, but after some time you will find yourself laughing at it and thinking about whether you could have used your time more wisely.

8 Things That Happen When You’re (Finally) Okay With Not Being Liked By Everyone

Permite-nos ser quem somos

I believe there’s nothing more powerful in the whole wide world than knowing who you are and being proud of yourself.

When you’re okay with not being liked by everyone, you’re basically okay with yourself!

You accept the fact that you’re an imperfect human being and you don’t worry about it. Instead, you embrace it. You make an effort to be your melhor eu every day and that’s all that matters.

You’re not anxious about expressing yourself in front of other people because you know the only thing that matters is that you believe in what you’re talking about.

Respeita os outros e defende-se a si próprio e aos seus princípios. 

Sabe quando dizer não

Já não é um agradar às pessoas. You know when to say no because you’re being true to yourself. If someone asks you to do something you’re not okay with, you reject them politely and move on.

After that, you don’t spend the rest of the day worrying about whether they still like you or not. Why? Because you don’t care. 

You know that you did the right thing and they have a choice to respect that or to hold grudges. And whatever their choice is, you don’t take it personally. 

Em vez de se esforçar para agradar a todos à sua volta, concentra-se no que quer e no que lhe parece certo. É a melhor dose de amor-próprio e respeito por si próprio!

Ver também: 8 Signs You’re A Agradar às pessoas E como deixar de o ser

Pode exprimir-se livremente

When you’re worried about being liked by everyone, you tend to overthink your words and actions. We all know the drill: 

Hmm…if I wear this dress to a party, everyone will think that I overdid it. I probably shouldn’t wear it (because I don’t want them to think that I’m trying too hard. Instead, I want them to like me.)

Well, when you’re FINALLY okay with not being liked by everyone, you don’t overthink such things. You think about how you feel in that dress and not about what other people might say. 

Your own comfort becomes your number one priority and not other people’s opinions. You’re not afraid to express yourself in different ways because you know that’s who you truly are and you’re not ashamed of it. 

Você tornar-se LIVRE.

And if everyone else around you is partying, you’re not afraid to read a book instead and say that you’re not interested in going out.

If the majority of people are wearing/doing one thing, you’re not afraid to rock your own style and do what feels natural to you and not someone else. 

Ajuda-o a gastar o seu tempo de forma sensata

Aprendi da maneira mais difícil que preocupar-me com o que as outras pessoas pensam e com o facto de gostarem de mim é uma enorme perda de tempo.

There are so many inspiring, creative things we can do instead of blindly dancing to other people’s tunes and “begging” them to like us.

Quando nos apercebemos disso, optamos por gastar o nosso tempo de forma sensata. Mimamo-nos com coisas nutritivas autocuidado rituaisVamos dar um passeio, vamos ao cinema sozinhos. 

We dance like there’s no tomorrow (not caring about what others think) and Taylor Swift agrees with us as well:

“‘Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play

E os odiadores vão odiar, odiar, odiar, odiar, odiar

Baby, I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake

Eu sacudo-a, eu sacudo-a

Quem parte corações vai partir, partir, partir, partir, partir, partir

E os falsificadores vão fingir, fingir, fingir, fingir, fingir

Baby, I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake

I shake it off, I shake it off.” (Shake It Off)

Torna-se uma inspiração para os outros

Esta é uma das minhas preferidas. Pense nos seus ídolos e modelos (se tiver um ou alguns) e pergunte a si próprio o que é que gosta neles?

Provavelmente, fazem as coisas de forma diferente dos outros, têm um estilo diferente, uma opinião diferente, etc., certo?

And that’s the reason why you like them! 

You see, when you’re okay with not being liked by everyone, you become an inspiration to others because you’re not afraid to be who you are.

Let’s say that you wear a different, non-standard outfit to school or work one day. Some people will see you as a weirdo, while others will be inspired by your courage. 

That’s exactly what happens with your role models as well. Some people like them and are inspired by them, while others don’t and that’s totally okay. 

The truth is, not everyone is going to like you and by being who you are, you’ve got nothing to lose because you become an inspiration to others.

Dar o seu melhor (em vez de se preocupar) passa a ser o seu lema

Esforça-se por ser o seu melhor eu hoje e todos os dias, porque dar o seu melhor torna-se o seu lema de vida.

You no longer worry whether someone will judge your choices, habits or ideas because you know that you’re being the melhor para si pode ser.

Quando se sabe isso, protege-se de qualquer potencial negatividade.

You don’t have a problem acknowledging your flaws and quirks, admitting when you’re wrong, correcting your mistakes, or apologizing.

You’re open to constant growth and that’s the main thing you’re focused on. You see every mistake as a lição valiosa and you don’t blame yourself or others for it. 

Vemos as coisas como elas são e tentamos melhorá-las, mas também aceitamos as que não podemos mudar. 

Ser diferente é a chave para o sucesso

Courtney Love once said that: “All publicity is good publicity to a certain degree”.

Se o seu desejo é tornar-se um influenciador (que é uma das vocações modernas mais populares hoje em dia), ser diferente ajudá-lo-á de inúmeras formas. 

Both people who like you and those who don’t (good and bad publicity) will make you successful because the only thing that matters is that you’re a hot topic. 

O mais importante é que eles partilhem, comentem e gostem das suas coisas, o que irá impulsionar o seu perfil e, consequentemente, torná-lo bem sucedido.

This rule can be applied to every aspect of our lives as well. When we’re not afraid to be different from others, we develop a different mindset and skills – like thinking outside the box, for example. 

So, yes, be different and don’t worry whether someone will like you or not because this is the key to success.

Ajuda-o a atrair coisas mais positivas para a sua vida

When you’re okay with not being liked by everyone, you spread positive vibrações à sua volta e, mais importante, ao Universo.

Thinking positively attracts more positive things into your life and that’s a Lei da Atração.

O que quer que penses, atrai-lo-ás para a tua vida.

Now, imagine that you constantly worry about not being liked by others and how it makes you feel miserable. This will only attract more negative things into your life (and you don’t want that). 

Considerações finais

Instead of worrying about other people’s approval, the only thing you should be worrying about is being the best version of yourself.

Whenever you’re feeling down about the fact that not everyone is going to like you, remember the following:

“You can’t change how people treat you or what they say about you. All you can do is change how you react to it.” – Mahatma Gandhi

Ver também: True Love Accepts You As You Are, It Doesn’t Compare You To Others