No vas a gustar a todo el mundo y por eso no pasa nada

“Not everyone is going to like you. Don’t let it phase you.” – Unknown

Before I say anything else, I feel like I should be honest with you (that doesn’t mean the rest of what I say will be a lie). 

I humbly and wholeheartedly admit that I’m one of those individuals who have spent (better said wasted) half of their lives worrying about what other people think and whether they’re going to like me or not. 

Quería ser adorada y gustar a los demás, tanto en la vida real como en la red. redes socialesAsí que estaba literalmente dispuesta a hacer CUALQUIER COSA con tal de ganarme su aprobación. 

Tardé algún tiempo en darme cuenta de que haciendo todo esto me estaba privando de autoestima and I’d become a legit complacer a la gente. I’d lost touch with my true self and become devoid of personality. 

I used to dance to other people’s tunes, but now I’m creating my own.

Hablando de uno de los lecciones de vida that no one teaches you at school. I no longer worry about being everyone’s taza de té, being judged, or gossiped about and I’ve never been happier!

Cada uno de nosotros puede elegir uno de estos dos principios fundamentales: 

a) No preocuparse por lo que piensen los demás o por caer bien.

b) Preocuparse por lo que piensan los demás y buscar activamente su aprobación.

En mi opinión, el primer principio ha demostrado ser el más eficaz y libre de estrés, mientras que el segundo es un atajo para acabar en un bucle, disminuyendo su autoestimay no tener el control de tu propia vida.

La verdad es que no vas a gustar a todo el mundo y no es algo que deba preocuparte. 

Cómo superar el hecho de que no vas a gustar a todo el mundo 

Cuestiónate por qué necesitas gustar a todo el mundo y que te aprueben

Instagram, Facebook, Twitter y otros redes sociales apps todos tenemos una cosa en común, y es: Queremos que nos vean, que nos sigan, que nos retuiteen, que nos feliciten, etc. Lo mismo ocurre en la vida real. 

En otras palabras: We want to be liked because it’s in our naturaleza humana (and that’s totally okay). 

But, sometimes this becomes an addiction and we’re no longer in control of it.

¿Alguna vez se ha preocupado por las siguientes cosas? Why didn’t he/she like my entrada anterior? Why don’t they approve of my style / ideas / habits? 

Si la respuesta es afirmativa, debe preguntarse por qué tiende a hacerlo. Esto suele estar relacionado con un bajo autoestima y la falta de atención de sus padres durante la infancia. 

Cuestionándolo, descubrirás cuál es la verdadera razón que se esconde tras tu necesidad de caer bien y ser aprobado por todo el mundo. Por supuesto, una vez que identifiques la razón, tienes que empezar a trabajar en ella. 

Trabajar para desarrollar una mejor relación con uno mismo

En lugar de intentar complacer a todos una sola persona you come into contact with, you need to start working on winning your own approval. You’ll do that by desarrollar una mejor relación con uno mismo.

This doesn’t mean that you should only focus on positive things about yourself, but you need to be realistic. You can make a list of things you like about yourself and things you would like to improve.

And that’s the real definition of who you REALLY are! When you accept yourself for who you are and do your best every day, you won’t bother with what other people are saying or thinking about you. 

Think about all those people YOU don’t like

I really love this one because we seldom think about it, but it rings true to the core! Pause for a moment and think about the people in your life that you don’t really like. 

Now, think about why you don’t like them. Perhaps it’s because they have a weird way of expressing themselves, they are rude, loud, or shy.

El siguiente paso es preguntarse si es algo que puede cambiar o algo que realmente le molesta. 

Creo que su respuesta es la siguiente: No, this is not something I can influence and it’s none of my business. I just don’t like them and that’s all. 

You see, that’s the exact same thing someone who doesn’t like you would say as well.

The truth is, not everyone is going to like you and vice versa. It’s a simple hecho that you need to ACCEPT as it’s the only way to supéralo. 

Descifrar la diferencia entre las creencias y la verdad real

Diferentes tipos de personas como la cajera del tienda de comestibles, su instituto compañeros, colegas y mejores amigos todos te ven bajo una luz diferente.

Todos tienen creencias sobre las personas que les rodean y estas creencias no son necesariamente la verdad real. 

Recuerdo mi escuela secundaria “adventures” when I wasn’t liked by some students, so they would spread lies about me. But, I didn’t really care about it because my amigos íntimos y supe la verdadera verdad. 

And that’s what you need to do as well! Always decipher the difference between their beliefs and the truth.

Las únicas personas que conocen la verdad real son usted y los que le conocen y te quiero por lo que realmente eres.

You shouldn’t bother with what some irrelevant person in your life thinks about you if you yourself know whether their assumptions are valid or just plain wrong.

Comprobar la situación

Antes de ponerte de mal humor o frustrarte por algo, asegúrate primero de evaluar la situación.

Let’s say that you found a nuevo trabajo and you’re trying hard to make a good impression, so you work extra hours and do your best every day. 

Después de algún tiempo, notas que tu compañero de trabajo doesn’t like you and now you’re wondering about what you have done wrong.

Antes de sacar conclusiones precipitadas, hay que comprobar toda la situación desde otra perspectiva.

Chances are high that this colleague feels threatened by you because you’re diligent, organized, and determined and now you’re making them feel bad about themselves because they are the total opposite of you.

Tengo ganas de repetirlo otra vez: Not everyone is going to like you and that’s totally okay!

Véase también: Cómo dejar de buscar la validación de los demás para empezar a prosperar

You’re not everyone’s cup of tea and this doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you

The biggest mistake that many people make is thinking that not being liked by someone means there’s something wrong with them. 

Vivimos en el siglo XXI y evolucionamos cada día, lo que se traduce en más diversidad, nuevas cosas, nuevas personalidades, etcétera.

Neither you or I are everyone’s taza de té y esto no es algo que deba preocuparnos.

I’m an introvert who gets easily drained by social events and you might be an extrovert who likes partying and social gatherings and this doesn’t make either of us RIGHT or WRONG. 

This doesn’t mean you should change yourself for the sake of citas con introvertidos o ser querido y aceptado por más gente.

Simplemente tenemos preferencias diferentes y lo único que podemos hacer al respecto es aceptarlo y seguir adelante. 

Don’t take it personally

If there’s one thing you should really MEMORIZE from this entire article, it is the following: Don’t let someone else’s ¡opinión te definen!

Just because someone doesn’t approve of your style or choices, you shouldn’t get offended by it. You can respect their opinion, but never let it define you. 

Don’t take things personally because you will waste your life thinking about what other people think instead of doing things you enjoy. 

You have the right to express your opinion even if it is different from other people’s and if they don’t like it, you shouldn’t take it personally.

That’s the real beauty of being who you are and nourishing your true self. Respecting other people’s opinions, but not letting them define you.

You’re allowed to be who you are

Sí, tú eres tú y no hay otro TÚ en todo el universo. Tienes todo el derecho a ser quien eres porque al hacerlo aportas diversidad y belleza al mundo.

Ahora imagina que todos y cada uno de nosotros fuéramos iguales y tuviéramos miedo de ser diferentes.

It would be really hard to differentiate ourselves or fall in love with someone when we’re all the same (and we would certainly die of boredom). 

Be proud of who you are and don’t be afraid to express yourself in every aspect of your life. If you’re a girl and you want to wear tomboy clothes (even though they are considered unfeminine), then do it!

If you’re a guy and you’re afraid of expresar sus emociones porque se considera femenino, ¡aún así hazlo!

If this is who you are and if you’re comfortable with it, there’s absolutely no reason why you shouldn’t be YOU.

Don’t overthink it

Don’t let other people’s potential opinion make you anxious about your own actions. Just remind yourself of the fact that there are also people you don’t like and it is not a big deal, right?

So, why would you overthink if someone else doesn’t like you? When you put it that way, it sounds really funny. But, we human beings like to complicate things even when we’re offered an easy way out. 

Relájate, respira hondo y pregúntate lo siguiente: ¿Seguiré preocupándome por estas mismas cosas dentro de cinco años? 

Let me answer this one for you: You won’t! The truth is, you won’t remember any of it. 

Right now it might seem like a big deal if someone doesn’t like you, but after some time you will find yourself laughing at it and thinking about whether you could have used your time more wisely.

8 Things That Happen When You’re (Finally) Okay With Not Being Liked By Everyone

Te permite ser quien eres

I believe there’s nothing more powerful in the whole wide world than knowing who you are and being proud of yourself.

When you’re okay with not being liked by everyone, you’re basically okay with yourself!

You accept the fact that you’re an imperfect human being and you don’t worry about it. Instead, you embrace it. You make an effort to be your el mejor yo every day and that’s all that matters.

You’re not anxious about expressing yourself in front of other people because you know the only thing that matters is that you believe in what you’re talking about.

Respetas a los demás y defiendes tus principios. 

Sabes cuándo decir no

Ya no eres un complacer a la gente. You know when to say no because you’re being true to yourself. If someone asks you to do something you’re not okay with, you reject them politely and move on.

After that, you don’t spend the rest of the day worrying about whether they still like you or not. Why? Because you don’t care. 

You know that you did the right thing and they have a choice to respect that or to hold grudges. And whatever their choice is, you don’t take it personally. 

En lugar de desvivirte por complacer a todos los que te rodean, te centras en lo que tú quieres y en lo que te parece bien. Es la dosis definitiva de amor y respeto por uno mismo.

Véase también: 8 Signs You’re A Complacer a la gente Y cómo dejar de serlo

Puedes expresarte libremente

When you’re worried about being liked by everyone, you tend to overthink your words and actions. We all know the drill: 

Hmm…if I wear this dress to a party, everyone will think that I overdid it. I probably shouldn’t wear it (because I don’t want them to think that I’m trying too hard. Instead, I want them to like me.)

Well, when you’re FINALLY okay with not being liked by everyone, you don’t overthink such things. You think about how you feel in that dress and not about what other people might say. 

Your own comfort becomes your number one priority and not other people’s opinions. You’re not afraid to express yourself in different ways because you know that’s who you truly are and you’re not ashamed of it. 

Usted hazte GRATIS.

And if everyone else around you is partying, you’re not afraid to read a book instead and say that you’re not interested in going out.

If the majority of people are wearing/doing one thing, you’re not afraid to rock your own style and do what feels natural to you and not someone else. 

Te ayuda a emplear tu tiempo sabiamente

Aprendí por las malas que preocuparse por lo que piensan los demás y por caerles bien es una enorme pérdida de tiempo.

There are so many inspiring, creative things we can do instead of blindly dancing to other people’s tunes and “begging” them to like us.

Cuando nos damos cuenta de ello, elegimos emplear nuestro tiempo sabiamente. Nos mimamos con nutritivos autocuidado ritualessalimos a pasear, vamos al cine solos. 

We dance like there’s no tomorrow (not caring about what others think) and Taylor Swift agrees with us as well:

“‘Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play

Y los que odian van a odiar, odiar, odiar, odiar, odiar

Baby, I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake

Me lo sacudo, me lo sacudo

Los rompecorazones van a romper, romper, romper, romper, romper

Y los farsantes van a falsificar, falsificar, falsificar, falsificar

Baby, I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake

I shake it off, I shake it off.” (Shake It Off)

Te conviertes en una inspiración para los demás

Esta es una de mis favoritas. Piensa en tus ídolos y modelos (si tienes uno o varios) y pregúntate qué es lo que te gusta de ellos.

Probablemente hacen las cosas de forma diferente a los demás, tienen un estilo, una opinión, etc., diferente, ¿verdad?

And that’s the reason why you like them! 

You see, when you’re okay with not being liked by everyone, you become an inspiration to others because you’re not afraid to be who you are.

Let’s say that you wear a different, non-standard outfit to school or work one day. Some people will see you as a weirdo, while others will be inspired by your courage. 

That’s exactly what happens with your role models as well. Some people like them and are inspired by them, while others don’t and that’s totally okay. 

The truth is, not everyone is going to like you and by being who you are, you’ve got nothing to lose because you become an inspiration to others.

Hazlo lo mejor que puedas (en lugar de preocuparte) se convierte en tu lema

Te esfuerzas por ser tu el mejor yo hoy y todos los días porque hacerlo lo mejor posible se convierte en el lema de tu vida.

You no longer worry whether someone will judge your choices, habits or ideas because you know that you’re being the lo mejor de ti puede ser.

Cuando lo sabes, te proteges de cualquier posible negatividad.

You don’t have a problem acknowledging your flaws and quirks, admitting when you’re wrong, correcting your mistakes, or apologizing.

You’re open to constant growth and that’s the main thing you’re focused on. You see every mistake as a valiosa lección and you don’t blame yourself or others for it. 

Ves las cosas como son e intentas mejorarlas y también aceptas las que no puedes cambiar. 

Ser diferente es la clave del éxito

Courtney Love once said that: “All publicity is good publicity to a certain degree”.

Si tu deseo es convertirte en influencer (que es una de las vocaciones modernas más populares hoy en día), ser diferente te ayudará de innumerables maneras. 

Both people who like you and those who don’t (good and bad publicity) will make you successful because the only thing that matters is that you’re a hot topic. 

Lo más importante es que compartan, comenten y les gusten tus cosas y esto impulsará tu perfil y, como resultado, te hará triunfar.

This rule can be applied to every aspect of our lives as well. When we’re not afraid to be different from others, we develop a different mindset and skills – like thinking outside the box, for example. 

So, yes, be different and don’t worry whether someone will like you or not because this is the key to success.

Te ayuda a atraer más cosas positivas a tu vida

When you’re okay with not being liked by everyone, you spread positive vibraciones a tu alrededor y, lo que es más importante, al Universo.

Thinking positively attracts more positive things into your life and that’s la Ley de la Atracción.

Lo que piensas, lo atraes a tu vida.

Now, imagine that you constantly worry about not being liked by others and how it makes you feel miserable. This will only attract more negative things into your life (and you don’t want that). 

Reflexiones finales

Instead of worrying about other people’s approval, the only thing you should be worrying about is being the best version of yourself.

Whenever you’re feeling down about the fact that not everyone is going to like you, remember the following:

“You can’t change how people treat you or what they say about you. All you can do is change how you react to it.” – Mahatma Gandhi

Véase también: True Love Accepts You As You Are, It Doesn’t Compare You To Others