Estou indo embora porque você nunca esteve lá quando eu precisei de você

Precisava que partilhasses as minhas mágoas.

I needed you to listen. To be there when I couldn’t even be there for myself. When I was weak and out of strength.

Só precisava que estivesses ao meu lado. Precisava que me abraçasses com tanta força que a dor congelasse nesse momento.

I needed you… but you were never there.

Precisava que partilhasses a minha felicidade.

You were always the first one on my mind when things were going great. When the sun shone down on me and I couldn’t believe how lucky and successful I was, you weren’t there to really share it with me.

You were listening but you didn’t hear me. You were more interested in your own happy moments as well as those sad ones. When it was all about you and I had the role of the listener, only then you were at ease.  

Precisava de ti para partilhar os meus sonhos e sonhar alguns novos contigo.  Mas nunca estiveste lá.

Estavas sempre demasiado ocupado. Nunca tinhas tempo para mim e havia sempre algo que exigia mais o teu tempo do que eu.

I was never at the top of your priority list— that’s if you would find the time at all.  

Eu precisava de ti como tu precisavas de mim. A diferença é que eu estava sempre ao teu lado, a apoiar-te, a ser feliz porque tu eras feliz, mas tu não estavas em lado nenhum quando se tratava de mim.

I don’t blame you for anything I am just letting you go. That’s something that was bound to happen at some point. I just delayed the inevitable.  

Acho que me senti sortuda por te ter, apesar de agora saber melhor.

I couldn’t see clearly that you weren’t investing in me at all while I was giving everything to you. I was always the one who understood everything. I thought my love and my effort will be enough.

But it wasn’t—I couldn’t love for the both of us.

Tentei racionalizar e continuei a dizer a mim próprio que as coisas iriam melhorar.

Estava sempre à espera de dias melhores, que encontrasses tempo para mim. Para que encontrasses tempo para nós. Esses dias nunca chegaram.

Eles nunca vieram porque tu estavas apenas inventar desculpas to cover the fact that you want me just when it suits you. Your friends, your career, you yourself and the part of your life without me were all more important. And I never wanted to put myself first on your priority list—I just wanted to be equally important.

Só queria sentir que sou importante.

That even though you don’t have time, you would find some for me. Because that’s what people in love do—eles arranjam tempo. Fazem tudo para ver alguém de quem gostam. Podem não passar tanto tempo quanto gostariam, mas passam tanto quanto têm. O problema é que nunca tiveste esse tempo para mim; nunca estiveste presente.

Todos aqueles pequenos momentos estavam engarrafados dentro de mim. Estavam à espera, como uma bomba-relógio, para explodir e eu quase que conseguia ver isso a acontecer. Todos eles se misturaram naquele grande momento em que te liguei e chorei, implorando-te que viesses ver-me, que estivesses lá para mim, pelo menos naquela altura em que eu mais precisava de ti. Nessa altura, senti que o meu mundo estava a desabar.

You weren’t there and suddenly I realized I was all by myself all this time. I will make it on my own in the future. I realized I never truly had you but you had me.

And you know what? The time has come to finally put me first and to find time for my needs. You can find someone else to feed your ego and look good next to you because I’m out. 

The equation is pretty simple, if you loved me, you’d be there for me. And since you weren’t, since you were always absent when I needed you the most, I learned that I’m enough on my own. This purifying revelation saved me. 

I’m enough. I don’t need you. I can make it on my own.