Uma carta para o homem que me fez sentir como se eu fosse a pessoa inamável

Neste mundo, tudo o que eu sempre quis foi amar e ser amada. Sou uma rapariga teimosa e sempre soube que era capaz de fazer qualquer coisa quando me empenhava nisso.

Tudo o que consegui na vida foi merecido pelo meu esforço e pela minha dedicação. Nunca nada me foi servido numa bandeja de prata.

Penso que esta é uma das principais razões pelas quais Lutei tanto por ti. Because life showed me that I can’t get anything I want that easily and that I have to walk a mile longer than anyone else does for it, so I figured I’d have to do the same in love too.

You were everything I ever looked for or could possibly ask for and once you were in my life, I knew I couldn’t let you go.

I told myself it wasn’t gonna be easy, but I believed that it would be worth it in the end. But what I thought would be worth it actually cost me way too much.

Sempre fui um lutador. Nunca me conformei até ter o que achava que merecia.

And I knew that here and there I’d have to receive a few punches along my life’s road, but what you gave me wasn’t just a punch, it was a knockout I barely recovered from.

Trataste-me miseravelmente e eu permiti. Destruíste completamente a minha confiança, esmagaste-a com a face da terra.

Now that I look back, I can’t believe I’d ever let that happen to me. I was one of those who knew her worth. But somewhere down the road, I obviously forgot that.

O que mais me impressiona é que nada do que eu fiz foi suficientemente bom para ti.

You kept comparing me to others and you kept asking me why I couldn’t be like them. My efforts were useless, my battles were meaningless to you.

But you’re one hell of an actor, you know? You convinced me that there wasn’t anything about me to be love, that I only had bad sides and how I was this person who was extremely hard to love.

Fizeste-me sentir como se eu não fosse amável e que devia ter sido abençoada por ter alguém como tu a amar-me.

Demorei algum tempo a perceber que it wasn’t me who was unlovableeras tu. E porque eras como eras, precisavas de me pôr constantemente para baixo para que eu ficasse ao teu lado.

You needed me to see you as this God-given creature and how I was blessed to have you next to me. But you weren’t a blessing, you were a curse.

Porque te sentiste mal contigo mesmo, fizeste-me sentir mal comigo também. Porque deixaste que alguém te convencesse de que eras difícil de amar, fizeste-me sentir como se eu também não fosse amável.

Deixaste que alguém te destruísse a confiança e a autoestima e depois fizeste o mesmo comigo.

You projected your insecurities onto me because they had convinced you of everything you’d been trying to convince me.

You shouldn’t have done that. You shouldn’t have made it a chain reaction. Regardless of how bad you felt, instead of stopping the chain, you continued it.

Sabias o quanto te doía e, no entanto, eras capaz de o fazer a outra pessoa também. Eras capaz de fazer essas mesmas coisas a mim, à pessoa que teria feito qualquer coisa por ti.

Well, unfortunately for you, I came to my senses. I realized it wasn’t me and that it had nothing to do with me.

Demorei algum tempo, mas sabe o que se diz, mais vale tarde do que nunca.

I realized I didn’t have to be your punching bag. And that I shouldn’t let you treat me bad just because you felt bad about yourself. I wasn’t gonna let you break me just because I loved you.

I wasn’t gonna let you turn me into a doormat that anyone could walk over, just so you’d be able to keep your head on the surface.

No woman should ever feel the way you made me feel. No woman should ever feel like she’s the unlovable one, like she’s hard to love or that she only has this one shot in life for love and no matter how bad her love treats her, that she’s supposed to put up with it.

Because if you treat me poorly, it’s not love, it’s poison and I don’t have to settle for it.

I’m a fighter, but I learned that sometimes you need to stop fighting and walk away if what you’re fighting for isn’t worth it.

I bent over backwards to make things work and in the end, it didn’t work out.

No final, em vez de sentir que me tinha afastado de uma relação, senti-me como se tivesse rastejado para debaixo de um edifício demolido por um terramoto. Mas, pelo menos, consegui ser aquele que fugiu.

Decidi ser eu a parar a corrente, sabes. Decidi que não ia fazer o mesmo que me fizeram a mim ou o mesmo que vos fizeram a vocês.

I decided to be strong enough when you couldn’t, I decided to be the man when you couldn’t and I decided not to hurt others just because I was hurt.

I know I’m good enough. Talvez me tenhas visto como a pessoa que não é amável, mas sei que não posso acreditar que sou como me viste.

The way you painted me is the exact portrait of how you see yourself. I don’t want to do those things to myself.

I don’t want to fight anymore for you. I don’t want to fight for someone who made me feel the way you did, like I’m the unlovable one.

You’re not someone I should give my heart to. You’re someone who would have destroyed me if I’d continued fighting for you, so I stopped.

Telling myself I deserved more wasn’t selfish. It was the best thing I could do. It was what I needed in order to keep myself on the surface.

My conscience is clear. What you did to me doesn’t have to define me. But it will definitely serve as a hard-learned lesson in life that sometimes I need to fight for myself as hard as I do for others.