O que aprendi com a minha amiga que foi abusada pelo seu parceiro

I have a friend whom I’ve known practically my entire life. We knew each other from school and we lived close to each other, so we always hung out together. It wasn’t until college that we became great friends.

Ela é super inteligente, sarcástica, espirituosa e bonita. Sempre teve uma língua afiada e era a rapariga mais engraçada em todas as reuniões.

Para além disso, tinha uma relação estável de longa duração. A vida dela era tudo o que eu sempre quis para mim.

I remember one day we were having a latté in our favourite cafe and she said that her boyfriend is near, driving around in his car and that she is just going to give him kiss hello. 

I remember thinking and saying to her,“Omg, that’s super cute.”

As time passed, we started becoming really close friends. I told her that she has the greatest life ever: “You are beautiful, finishing up college, everyone likes you, and you are in this great relationship full of understanding and trust.” She kind of smirked when I said that.

On another occasion, we went for a jog and her boyfriend, whom I still hadn’t met, called her and asked where we were going.

I made a joke and took her phone and said, “We’re going out with these handsome guys from university.” I noticed how uncomfortable she was.

I don’t recall what happened in between; she graduated and I still had two more semesters, so I went back to university and she called me,saying they’d broken up.

Ela contou-me tudo numa espécie de código, como se tivesse medo de falar ao telefone.

Quando voltei para casa, ela confessou-me tudo. Toda a sua relação era uma mentira. Ele era uma pessoa extremamente ciumenta e agressiva.

Remember the time he stopped by to “kiss” her, well he was just controlling her. And that time I made a joke about the guys from uni, well, he didn’t believe her and slapped her because of it. 

Ela contou-me imensas situações em que ele era ciumento e paranoico e lhe batia só porque achava que estava certo.

Perguntei-lhe como conseguia estar tão bem e feliz à frente dos nossos amigos e ela respondeu-me que, quando estava entre nós, vivia a vida que queria.

A sua relação durou muito tempo. Ela disse que tinha medo de acabar com ele porque ele ameaçava matar-se a si próprio, à sua família e a ela. 

Ele fez-lhe uma lavagem cerebral e ela tinha medo de contar a alguém.

At one point she was afraid to ask him to go to the movies and see the new James Bond film just because he might think that she is “in love with the actor,” then freak out and hurt her physically. 

Eventually, he broke up with her although she played by his rules. He was obviously mental and he couldn’t cope with himself anymore.

She was finally saved although she wanted to even get back together with him – classical Stockholm syndrome. Luckily, he moved away and she realized that freedom is the most important thing in life for her.

She thought she’d never find anyone again. Her self esteem was shot and she’d completely lost faith in men, but she fell in love again with the greatest guy ever to whom I introduced her.

Finalmente está feliz e a viver a vida que sempre desejou.

Por vezes, dou por mim a queixar-me de um tipo qualquer que me magoou e diminuiu a minha autoestima, mas depois penso nela e deixo de me queixar.

Ela é uma pessoa tão boa e forte e conseguiu ultrapassar tudo isto apenas porque acreditava no amor e que existem pessoas boas por aí.