Eu queria que tu lutasses por mim

Querido "amor da minha vida",

Ainda me lembro daquela noite em que eu disse que estava tudo acabado. Lembro-me de estares à minha frente e olhares para mim como se estivesses a olhar para um estranho na rua.

Ainda sinto aqueles arrepios no corpo quando acabaste de dizer, “Okay”.

Sem sequer tentar lutar por mim. Sem sequer tentar falar comigo e pedir desculpa por toda a merda que me fizeste. Aceitaste a minha decisão como se fosse a coisa mais normal do mundo.

Espera! Quem é que está louco aqui?  Deixamos de lado a pessoa que amamos tão facilmente?  Don’t you fight for someone who means the world to you?

Those questions kept running through my head while I watched you leave. I didn’t know what you felt inside of you. But I know that I didn’t get the reaction I wanted to see.

You left me like I was never yours. Like we haven’t spent all these years together—dreaming about the house we will buy and our kids that will play in the backyard.

Com apenas uma palavra, afundaste todos os meus barcos. A tua ignorância fez-me sentir como um tolo. Parecia que eu era o único que estava apaixonado na nossa relação.

Parecia que eu era o único que estava pronto para lutar a cada segundo.

E tu? Era apenas um cobarde porque deixaste-me ir tão facilmente. Como se eu nunca te tivesse pertencido. Como se nunca te tivesses preocupado comigo.

Like I was just a stranger in the street. And that moment, I realized that I don’t want you anymore. I don’t need a man who won’t fight for me.

I don’t need an almost relationship. I deserve so much more from my life, and unfortunately, you can’t provide me with that.  

Queria que lutasses por mim, but you couldn’t do even that!

If you are such a coward who lets go of the one you love, then I don’t need you either. I want a man who will be there for me in my moments of sorrow.

Preciso de um homem que me apoie nas minhas decisões. Preciso de um homem que dar-me-á a sua mão quando a vida se tornar difícil.

E, querida, tu não és esse homem. E nunca foste.

I was just blindly in love with you so I couldn’t see other men who were trying to win me over. I trusted you when you said that you want to marry me.

Confiei em ti quando disseste que querias que eu fosse a mãe dos teus filhos. E comprei aquela merda toda como uma idiota enquanto tu tinhas um plano diferente em mente.

Fizeste-me sentir tão segura contigo, mas estava a pensar em boas maneiras de me deixar. E senti que algo estava errado.

I saw that in your eyes. Your eyes weren’t the same as before. They weren’t looking at me with the same passion.

Em vez disso, eram frios, como se alguém tivesse apagado a chama que ardia dentro deles. E os olhos são o espelho da alma.

That’s how I knew something was wrong. But I never imagined something like this could happen.

Nunca pensei que o amor da minha vida me deixasse partir. Pensava apenas que estávamos a passar por um percalço na estrada e que resolveríamos todos os nossos problemas com uma conversa.

But I was so wrong. I didn’t see this one coming. And I must admit it knocked me off my feet. I couldn’t believe that this was happening to me.

To us. I thought we were a happy couple—the one that will grow old together. But no, God had a different plan for us. He wanted to see us separated.

And now, when I look back, I am a happy and a satisfied woman. You want to know why? Because I was saved from a man who didn’t deserve me.

From a man who would sell me for his dreams. From a man who was a coward and couldn’t give his heart. To the man who was afraid to love and to be loved.

I don’t want a man like that. I wanted a man who would fight for me, but you even couldn’t do that. You didn’t show me any respect. You didn’t say that you were sorry.

You just left me like I was a dog in the street. You didn’t care if I would be okay, if I would scream and have a nervous breakdown.

Foste-te embora como se eu nunca tivesse sido tua. E obrigada por fazeres isso. Agora, eu sei o que quero da minha vida.

Agora, eu sei que tipo de homem eu mereço. I know my worth and I know that I won’t give you a second chance.

Because I gave you so much more than you deserved—so many sleepless nights waiting for you to come home.

So many talks late at night, telling you that you shouldn’t be worried about our problems, because if we love each other we will solve them all.

In all that mess, I failed to see that you didn’t want us to solve it all. You wanted to ruin our kingdom that we were building together, so we can’t enjoy it.

For some reason, you thought that we can’t work. And I wanted us to work. I really did.  

But your words were the last ones. And I couldn’t do anything about that. I can just thank God for saving me from a broken man like you.

Because my life with you would be everything but happy. With a broken man, nothing is easy, and I wasn’t ready for someone like that.

Queria que lutasses por mim e me dissesses que preferias estar sozinho a estar com outra pessoa.

But unfortunately, I never heard those words coming out of your mouth. I heard just a simple “Okay” that I will remember until I die.

E só por causa dessa palavra, nunca me vou permitir ter um quase relação como eu tinha contigo.

E tu? Um dia, espero que olhes para trás e te arrependas de tudo o que fizeste para que tudo acabasse!

Com zero amor,

A rapariga que desistiu