Como recuperar a confiança depois de ser traído

Ser traído pode mudar-nos seriamente in so many ways. And it’s no surprise that not only your heart broke into pieces because you were betrayed by someone you love but you can’t shake that feeling that someone you cared so much about picked somebody else over you, and it hurts so damn much.

E pensar dessa forma é o maior erro que cometemos. Começamos a tentar encontrar a causa de sermos enganados em nós próprios.

Isso prejudica seriamente a nossa autoestima ou até faz-nos perdê-la completamente.

We start comparing ourself to that other woman, seeing her pros and cons and comparing them with our own. We are desperately trying to see what she has that we don’t.

Na verdade, acabamos por culparmo-nos a nós próprios in a way. We start questioning if we were enough, if we loved deeply enough, if our looks and our intelligence were enough, if our behavior didn’t go down well with him, if there was something we could have done differently to change the outcome—and the list goes on.

A única coisa que conseguimos ao pensar assim é desviarmo-nos do nosso caminho e perdermos a nossa confiança.

Of course it’s not about us. Of course we are good enough, we are beautiful, we have all the love, respect and understanding within us, and we gave our absolute best.

Claro que somos mais do que suficientes.

The truth is that person who cheated wasn’t good enough for us and he is the only one to blame in this situation.

This way of thinking has to stop immediately. If we let it go on, it will only ruin our social relationships, work relationships, future love relationships and the most important relationship of all—the one we have with ourself.

That’s why we have to take some steps and win back our confidence:

Perceber que o mau comportamento dele não tem nada a ver consigo

Não és tu a culpada nesta situação. Ele é a única razão e a única causa de a sua batota.

E embora ele lhe possa dar inúmeras razões e desculpas esfarrapadas, a razão pela qual ele fez o que fez foi porque tem baixa autoestima.

He cheated so he could feel good about himself, so he could boost his confidence by charming other women into his bed. Isn’t that as low as he can get?

Tentar ver as coisas de outro ângulo

Maybe all this heartache and pain happened because God is trying to protect you from everything that’s not meant for you.

Maybe you wouldn’t have opened your eyes to everything else that was bad in the relationship if it hadn’t been for the cheating.

I know it hurts now but one day you will wake up next to the love of your life and thank your ex for cheating on you and being such a low life, as if he hadn’t you would never have met somebody a million times better than him.

Tudo o que acontece na vida é uma lição em si mesmo. Algumas lições são dolorosas, outras são indolores, mas todas elas nos ensinam algo valioso e nos levam aos lugares que nos são destinados.

Rodeie-se de pessoas positivas

A pior coisa que pode fazer agora é ficar sozinho e pensar demasiado nas coisas. Em vez de pensar demasiado nas coisas depois de ter sido traídoPassar tempo com os amigos e a família. Eles estão sempre lá para si, aconteça o que acontecer, e são os seus maiores apoiantes. Estarão sempre lá para o ouvir e para lhe mostrar o quanto gostam de si.

You shouldn’t keep your feelings bottled up inside. If you lose track of yourself or your worth, they will remind you just how valuable you are. They will build up your self-esteem in no time.

Não se esqueça de lhes agradecer por isso. Eles são o seu grupo de apoio e acrescentam valor à sua vida, tal como você acrescenta à deles.

Faça algo por si próprio

Lying in bed and crying can be beneficial for a short period of time but you can’t waste too many of your tears on somebody who is unworthy of you. For me in situations like this, spite did the trick.

I got back up from that just to prove to him and to myself that he didn’t get the best of me. I found strength somewhere inside of me; even though my heart was broken, I wasn’t about to quit on myself.

I started doing things I always wanted to do but kept postponing—I started a gym class, I got some new hobbies and tried new activities. In doing that, I met new people.

Estava sempre a fazer alguma coisa, a crescer, a evoluir e isso tornava-me mais enérgico.

Descobre aquilo que te interessa e persegue-o. Precisa de desafios e de diversão na sua vida agora e precisa de se orgulhar.

Go easy on yourself. Healing is never easy and it’s a long process but you will get there.

Work on getting your confidence back—don’t give him the satisfaction of seeing you down. As you start to take care of yourself more, you will care less and less about him.

Depois de recuperar completamente a sua confiança, ele não será mais do que uma memória distante.