Como é que ser traído nos muda: 16 maneiras

What’s the worst thing about being cheated on? The pain doesn’t end the moment your relação tóxica faz. De facto, as consequências perduram mesmo depois de reparar o seu coração partido and think you’ve healed completely.

Isto é exatamente como é que ser enganado nos muda para sempre!

How Being Cheated On Changes You In Some Bad Ways…

How does being cheated on affect a man? How does being cheated on affect a woman? Well, when it comes to this, it’s absolutely irrelevant whether you are male or female.

Aqui estão as piores formas em que ser vítima de infidelidade afecta a sua vida e bem-estar.

1. Confiar em alguém torna-se impossível

When your partner cheats, you can’t avoid developing fortes problemas de confiança. Por mais que tentemos confiar nos outros, torna-se impossível fazê-lo.

Afinal de contas, a pessoa que mais amava apunhalou-a pelas costas da forma mais dolorosa. Your ex didn’t only break your heart – they betrayed you as well. And that’s what shattered you the most.

I’m not only talking about your future relationships here. I’m not talking just about romance.

The truth is that you lose your faith in humanity. After all, your ex wasn’t only your romantic partner. They were a friend and family member too.

Por isso, se o fizerem passar por isto desgosto without hesitation, what’s stopping someone else from doing the same? Why are they different from all of your other entes queridos?

Let’s not forget that this person promised you the world. They swore they would never do anything to hurt you, but that’s exactly what they ended up doing.

Basically, it would be strange if you didn’t develop trust issues as a result.

2. Perder a capacidade de perdoar

Como é que ser traído nos muda: Bem, para começar, esquece-se o que é o perdão.

You’re so bitter after everything that went on that, for the first time ever, you’ve learned how to hate. At first, you think it’s great that you didn’t perdoar o seu traidor por tudo o que te fizeram.

And you’re absolutely right. Forgiveness is the last thing they deserve.

No entanto, esqueceste-te de uma coisa: mereces perdoar-lhes. That’s right – you should do it for the sake of your own bem-estare não por causa deles.

But the opposite happened. After you’ve been betrayed by someone you cared for deeply, you swore that you’d never let anyone break your heart again.

You’ve raised the bar, and you’re not ready to allow anyone to do you wrong. And that’s amazing.

Nevertheless, that doesn’t mean you should lose your ability to forgive altogether. Trust me – when you remember how to do it, you’ll bring yourself the peace you so desperately need.

3. Envolver-se no jogo da auto-culpa

Was it me? Was it something I did? How come I wasn’t enough for my outra pessoa significativa? How come I didn’t see what was going on right in front of my nose?

Could I have done something to prevent this? What did they miss in our relationship? What did the other person have to offer my partner that I couldn’t?

Whenever I talk to my friends who’ve been cheated on, they all asked the same questions. Some of them refused to admit it at first, but eventually, everyone gets trapped in the same thought pattern.

Let’s get one thing straight: autoconsciência é espantoso. Desenvolvemos a capacidade de recapitular os nossos próprios erros e chegamos a um ponto em que somos capazes de nos aperceber dos nossos erros.

No entanto, a participação no jogo da auto-culpa é algo diferente.

The problem is that these thoughts transfer into every single area of your life. You don’t stop with wondering if you were to blame for your partner having an affair.

Every time someone does something to hurt you, you ask yourself why you weren’t enough. And that’s exactly how being cheated on changes you.

Relacionadas: Como parar de pensar demais depois de ser traído (20 dicas)

4. Não há mais fé no amor

Here’s the devastating truth: you já não acredita no amor. Yes, it’s possible for you to care, and it’s possible for another person to care for you.

Mas até isso acontecer contigo, acreditavas no amor eterno e todo-poderoso. You know what I’m talking about.

Acreditou no conceito de almas gémeas. You believed that it was possible to find the one you’d grow old with.

Acreditou em felizes para sempre. Acreditava em encontrar a pessoa certa sem precisar de mais ninguém.

E agora, depois da vossa partner’s infidelity, all of that is erased. What’s the point of entering a nova relação quando é que vai acabar como acabou o anterior?

Even when you’re around happy couples, you see them in a different light. Of course, you don’t say anything, but the truth is that you just expect one of them to cheat or do something similar.

5. Problemas graves de autoestima

Como é que ser traído nos muda: Bem, destrói a tua sentimento de autoestima.

You won’t admit it at first, but you’re having a hard time loving yourself the way you did. You weren’t enough for your favorite human being in the world, so that must mean that you’re not worthy of love.

If the person who knew you best didn’t think of you as digno de amor e respeito, quem é você para discutir com eles?

Comparar-se a si próprio

And let’s face it, these self-confidence issues are mostly caused by the fact that you keep on comparing yourself with this outra mulher ou homem.

What do they have that you don’t? Why were they better? What did they give your ex you didn’t? Why did they replace you with this person?

I’m not only talking about their physical appearance here. Even if your SO had an caso emocional, you’ll wonder about this new person’s intellect, sense of humor, and personality.

Once again, this doesn’t end even after your toxic relationship does. Without even realizing it, you continue comparing yourself to the whole world.

Continuas a inventar que toda a gente é melhor do que tu, o que obviamente não está nem perto da verdade.

6. Tornar-se um pensador excessivo

You’re analyzing your entire relationship, aren’t you? What went wrong? When was the moment things started going downhill?

Repete toda a sua relação para trás e para a frente, procurando pistas em que não reparou quando devia ter reparado.

Before you know it, overthinking gets into your blood. You start to analyze everyone’s every word and move.

…and an overworrier

And you don’t just tornar-se um pensador excessivo. What’s even worse is that you become an overworrier as well.

Espera-se sempre o pior resultado possível. É claro que se trata de uma automecanismo de defesa que desenvolveu.

É a única forma de se proteger de outro desgosto.

If you expect the worst, it can’t surprise you when it happens, can it? But if you hope for the best, your whole world will shatter into pieces when you’re betrayed yet again.

Even though this doesn’t make sense, it’s exactly how being cheated on changes you. You’re constantly on the lookout, and you deprive yourself of the possibility of being happy.

7. Tornar-se numa pessoa vingativa

Admita, está obcecado com a melhor forma de vingar-se do seu ex. Mesmo que não actue de facto, passa muito tempo a planear a sua vingança.

After all, they did you so much harm. Why should they get away with it as if nothing happened? You won’t let it slide just like that, will you?

What should you do? Allow them to live their life as if they hadn’t destroyed yours? Let them build their happiness on your tears?

Absolutely not! You must make them pay, even if it’s the last thing you do.

At least, that’s what you’ve been thinking lately, haven’t you? And I understand completely. Don’t get me wrong – I’m not here to judge you.

However, I am here to burst your bubble and tell you that even revenge won’t make you feel better.

Como é que ser traído nos muda: Bem, faz-nos perder-se, doesn’t it?

You weren’t like this before. You didn’t know what hatred was, but now it consumes you completely.

That’s exactly how it changed you – it changed the essence of who you were.

8. Ansiedade de relacionamento

Muitas pessoas desenvolvem ansiedade na relação after surviving infidelity. And I’m not talking about only questioning your new partner’s feelings.

I’m talking about entrar no próxima relação in the first place. Ever since you were cheated on, you’re literally terrified of relationships.

You can’t even think about voltar à piscina dos encontros. Mesmo que comece a gostar de alguém novo, a sua ansiedade entra em ação e começa imediatamente a correr pela sua vida.

Mas o que acontece se conseguir ultrapassar este obstáculo e entrar numa nova relação? Well, that’s when your real problems begin.

When someone cheats on you, you’re positive that everyone else will do the same. You keep on expecting all hell to break loose.

Você sabotar a sua nova relaçãoquestionar a sua autoestima e pensar demasiado em todos os pormenores do seu romance.

Well, my dear, that’s exactly what relationship anxiety looks like.

9. Desenvolvimento de problemas de ciúme

Optou por não dar uma segunda oportunidade para o seu traidor. And I’m super proud of you for that. But every relationship coach will tell you the same thing: that doesn’t mean that nobody else deserves to get a first chance.

Ou, pelo menos, o benefício da dúvida!

I know that this is hard to believe, but you don’t have to go through your new partner’s text messages, conversas no messenger, Pontuação do Snapchat, and other social media accounts. You don’t have to be jealous of every single person of the opposite sex they talk to.

You don’t have to search for signs that are clearly not there.

I know what you must be thinking: you want to find out in time so you don’t give them the opportunity to make a fool out of you. Well, guess what? Even that won’t salvá-lo de um coração partido!

Não vale a pena ter ciúmes possessivos.

Most importantly, there is no point in comparing yourself to other people in your partner’s life. They chose you for a reason. And that means that you’re more than enough for them!

10. Duvidar das suas escolhas

Teve um má relação. Does this mean that every new one will be the same? Well, according to you – that’s exactly what it means.

Continua a culpar-se por escolher mal e deixar entrar a pessoa errada. Agora, o pior seria repetir o erro.

Por isso, tornamo-nos demasiado cuidadosos. Começa a duvidar da sua capacidade de julgamento e pensa demasiado em cada escolha que faz.

Don’t get me wrong – this is not me saying that you should be reckless. It’s great that you learn from your mistakes.

However, don’t allow that one awful experience to prevent you from doing what you want.

And I’m not only talking about romantic relationships. I’m talking about the fact that you’ve become scared of chasing your dreams.

You’ve stopped letting new people in because you assume that you’ll make the wrong choice all over again. Trust me, you won’t – you’ve learned your lesson!

11. Problemas de saúde mental

Como é que ser traído nos muda: Bem, infelizmente, para muitas pessoas, isso traz inúmeros problemas de saúde mental.

Passar por uma situação tão desgosto afecta a sua química do cérebro, and it’s not unusual for a victim of cheating to ficar deprimido ou ansioso.

If this is something you can relate to, maybe it’s time to visit a mental health professional who’ll help you through the processo de cura.

Whatever you do, please don’t be ashamed of how you feel. Remember: none of this is your fault!

… And In Some Good Ways

You’ll think I’m messing with you, but guess what? Looking at it from a different perspective, being cheated on wasn’t so bad after all. I know it breaks your heart and even threatens to make you incapable of loving again.

No entanto, existem algumas formas positivas de o mudar a si também. Aqui estão elas:

1. Tornas-te mais forte do que nunca

A coisa boa que ser enganado traz é uma força mental incrível. Eu sei que acabei de falar sobre problemas de saúde mental, mas acredite, quando os ultrapassa com sucesso, torna-se mais poderoso do que nunca.

Porquê? Bem, se foste capaz de sobreviver à traição da pessoa que mais amavas, não há literalmente nada que te possa matar.

Pensaste que isto te ia destruir. Mas aqui está, de cabeça erguida, apesar de todas as probabilidades.

Once you raise from the ashes, you realize that the only person you can’t live without is yourself. You’re no longer scared of anyone abandoning you.

You’re no longer terrified of ter o coração partido because you know you’ll succeed in gluing it back together.

For the first time ever, you’re completely free. And most importantly, you’re finally aware of your strength and potential. How amazing is that?

2. You realize that some things aren’t meant to be…

Quando se é traído pela primeira vez, tenta-se chegar ao fundo de tudo o que aconteceu. Procura-se o razões subjacentes a esta catástrofe e fazer o seu melhor para encontrar o significado maior.

Mas depois, passado algum tempo, apercebemo-nos: some things don’t need an obvious reason. And your partner having an affair was one of them.

If this hadn’t happened, you would never have realized that some things and some people are just não é para ser.

Your relationship had to end the way it did. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have become the person you are today.

Foi apenas uma questão de fé. E a vida vai mostrar-lhe porque é que foi a melhor coisa que lhe podia ter acontecido.

That’s right – you saw it as a curse, but it was actually a blessing in disguise all along.

3. …and that sometimes God saves you

Remember how we talked about the fact that you’ve lost faith in love and humanity? Well, that’s why you’ve regained your faith in God and the Universe.

Esta experiência dolorosa ensinou-lhe que há uma grande diferença entre querer algo e precisar realmente de algo.

O que é que estou a tentar dizer? Bem, vê as coisas desta forma: pensavas que precisavas do teu ex.

Pensaste que era a tua alma gémea. Pensaste que estavas destinado a envelhecer com eles.

E estavam dispostos a fazer tudo o que fosse preciso para apagar a infidelidade deles das vossas vidas.

Mas Deus abriu-te os olhos para salvar-te. Ele fê-lo para vos dar clareza.

After a while, you’ll see this for yourself. You’ll realize that you were actually blinded by the love you felt for them, and you’ll come to the conclusion that your ex wasn’t the one for you, regardless of the affair.

But guess what? If the affair hadn’t happened, you would never have reached these realizations. Do you see what I’m talking about now?

4. Aprende a arrasar na sua vida de solteiro

Perder a fé no amor e passar por uma situação de ansiedade numa relação não é nada fácil. No entanto, surpreendentemente, também pode trazer-lhe algo de bom.

Everything you went through made you stay away from relationships. But that doesn’t have to be the worst thing that happened, does it?

Fez-te apreciar a tua vida de solteiro. It feels great not having anyone to cheat on you, doesn’t it?

On a more serious note, you really do learn that it’s better to be alone than with someone who doesn’t treat you right.

After escaping a terrible relationship, you learn to cherish the most important one – the relação que tem consigo próprio.

So if you don’t feel ready to start something new right away, take your time. Work on your self-esteem, remember how it feels to love yourself, and let go of the past.

5. E para escolher melhor no futuro

Como é que ser enganado nos muda: Bem, certamente que nos ensina algumas lições.

First of all, you’ve become an expert in figuring out the sinais de que o seu parceiro o está a trair. I bet you’re able to smell infidelity from a mile away and apanhar um batoteiro num piscar de olhos.

But not only that – you know how to survive it as well.

However, there is an even more important lesson you’ve learned from this awful experience: to never settle for less than you deserve. The last thing you’ll do is put up with infidelity ever in the future!

Ser traído muda-nos para sempre?

Being cheated on definitely does turn you into someone you never knew you could be. Sometimes, it will help you change for the better, and sometimes, you’ll change for the worse, but one thing is clear: you won’t stay the same!

Either way, the impact it leaves on you is permanent and unerasable. Of course, it’s up to you if you’ll lose yourself and reinvent yourself completely after surviving an affair or if you’ll just change some parts of your personality.

Como é que ser enganado o afecta?

Ser enganado afecta a sua auto-confiançaA saúde mental, as relações (incluindo as românticas e as que tem consigo próprio) e a personalidade como um todo. Basicamente, afecta todos os aspectos da sua vida.

One of the worst things this experience takes away from you is faith. You no longer believe in love. You’ve lost faith in happy endings, and you don’t trust anyone around you.

Even if that’s the only way being cheated on affects you, it’s more than enough!

Como é que a traição afecta o traidor?

Mesmo que não haja desculpa para cometer adultério, batoteiros pode lutar contra a culpaO que é que se passa com a pessoa? O ódio a si próprio, a ansiedade, a depressão e as inseguranças também. Their mental health can be destroyed after they realize what they’ve done.

However, this doesn’t apply to all cheaters out there because not all os batoteiros pensam the same. Some don’t have trouble perdoando-se a si próprios e a seguir em frente com as suas vidas como se nada tivesse acontecido.

Para terminar:

You’ve figured out how being cheated on changes you. But I must remind you that everything is still in your hands.

It’s up to you: will you benefit from this situation, or will you allow it to kill you emotionally? Will you look for the silver lining in this cloud, or will you let the storm wash you away?

The choice is all yours! And I know that you’ll make the right one.