15 sinais de alerta de que o seu parceiro está a perder o interesse

Let’s be honest: being the other woman or the other man is bad enough. But having to doubt your partner’s feelings no meio deste caos é um pesadelo por si só.

However, before you jump to any conclusions, you have to be sure what’s really happening. Are you really seeing signs your affair partner is losing interest, or is there something else hidden behind their change in behavior?

Só há uma maneira de o descobrir: continuar a ler!

15 sinais de que o seu parceiro está a perder o interesse

Se se identificar com todos ou com a maioria destes sinais, o seu parceiro é Apaixonar-me por ti.

1. Sem planos para o futuro

Todos os especialistas em relações lhe dirão a mesma coisa: o primeiro sinal de alerta a que deve prestar atenção é o facto de você e o seu parceiro já não terem planos para o futuro.

Or, to be exact, they’re the one who avoids the topic.

Lembram-se de como as coisas eram no início? Ambos sonhavam como seriam as coisas quando entrassem numa relação verdadeira e comprometida.

Provavelmente falaram de um sítio para ficar, planearam viajar juntos e tinham toda a vossa vida em conjunto planeada.

No entanto, tudo isso parece ter desaparecido de um dia para o outro. O seu parceiro ficou em silêncio como se nenhuma destas conversas tivesse acontecido.

Mesmo quando tentamos abordar esta questão, eles ignoram-nos completamente.

And I’m not only talking about long-term planos futuros. I’m talking about short-term plans as well.

You can’t get them to sign up for a weekend getaway or a coffee date tomorrow night, let alone anything else.

Isn’t this fact alone suspicious? If you’re being honest, you’ll admit that it is definitely one of the signs your affair partner is losing interest.

2. … at least not with you

However, when you come to think of it, you’re the only person they don’t make any plans with. It’s not that they’re too busy. They have time – just not for you.

They keep on making plans with their significant other and the rest of their family. Of course, they wouldn’t even inform you of those plans, but they have to warn you not to send them text messages or call them when they’re with them.

When you ask them about their vacation plans, they’ll tell you that they’ve already booked everything with their primary partner.

The hell with it, they’re even planning on doing things with their best friends and coworkers. It looks like there is a place in their future for everyone. That is, everyone but you!

Of course, when you confront him about this, he’ll tell you you’re imagining things.

O seu cônjuge reservou os voos sem eles saberem, ou têm um evento familiar a que têm de ir.

But you’re not foolish enough to believe in these lies. After all, how come similar things didn’t happen before?

That’s right, the harsh truth is that your cheater doesn’t see your relationship as algo duradouro.

3. Evitam a conversa sobre o divórcio

When you engaged in this affair, there were some promises made. You know the usual lines: their marriage or long-term relationship is falling apart, and they’re about to break up or divorciar-se.

Eles fizeram com que acreditasses que vocês dois estariam juntos de verdade antes que te apercebesses.

Mas agora, quando já não sentem nada por si, everything changed. They’ve stopped bringing their divorce up completely.

Mesmo quando lhes perguntamos sobre o assunto, a discussão torna-se enorme.

Let’s get one thing straight: provavelmente estavam a mentir para ti desde o primeiro dia. Eles só queriam fazer com que te apaixonasses por eles, e foram bem sucedidos na sua missão.

However, as funny as this might sound, they no longer even put effort into deceiving you. It’s like they don’t give a damn whether you stay or leave.

Or, to be exact, they know that you’ll stay, so there is no point in persuading you that they’ll end things with their SO. I know you’ll have a hard time accepting this, but it’s one of the most surefire signs your affair partner is losing interest.

4. You’re nothing but a booty call

A intimidade física é crucial em qualquer relação romântica; ninguém discute isso. O seu caso tem mais hipóteses de ser bem sucedido se os dois se derem bem no quarto.

However, it can’t be the only basis of a relationship. If it is, then you’ve got yourself a um tipo de acordo sem compromissos e não vale a pena procurar os sinais reveladores de que o seu parceiro está a perder o interesse, quanto mais os sentimentos.

Mas a situação consigo é que tinha diversão fantástica entre os lençóis. Nevertheless, it wasn’t the only thing your relationship revolved around. However, that has changed.

Lately, you’ve been feeling like this person’s engate. Why? Well, because that’s exactly o que é.

They call you in the middle of the night, asking when they can stop by. They don’t arrange any activities whatsoever except those that involve a hotel room.

You don’t talk, you don’t travel, you don’t watch movies together. You’re only spending time with one another when you’re sleeping together.

What does this tell you? That they’re still very much physically attracted to you, but that’s about it.

5. … or they avoid physical intimacy altogether

Let’s get one thing straight: we’re not talking about an emotional affair here, are we? That is why it’s quite unusual for your partner to avoid physical intimacy.

I just told you that it’s bad if eles só querem dormir contigo. And now I’m telling you that it’s bad if they don’t want to sleep with you either. What’s going on?

Well, the trick is in finding balance – one of the things your relationship clearly doesn’t have.

Don’t get me wrong – it’s one thing if they’re tired or if this is just a phase. You can’t expect anyone to be turned on 24/7 or for your sex life to always be at its peak.

It’s also understandable if you know that they’re going through something. Maybe they’re dealing with additional stress at work or something similar. In that case, this is not a red flag you should pay attention to.

No entanto, se os seus desinteresse in physical intimacy lasts for some time and there is no valid explanation behind it, you’ve got yourself a problem.

What’s even worse is that they refuse to talk about it. Whenever you tackle the issue, they accuse you of having only one thing on your mind.

O que é que isto significa?

Well, that they’ve probably stopped seeing you as their emotional partner. Instead, you’ve become something like a best friend to them.

Pode tentar reavivar o brilho ou contentar-se com um caso emocional.

6. Ninguém sabe de ti

Keeping your relationship a secret is what an extra-marital affair is all about, I know. However, it’s impossible to keep something like that a secret for so long from literally everyone.

Quando começaram a namorar, o vosso batoteiro showed you off. Of course, they made sure only people they trusted knew about you, which didn’t include anyone who would tell on them to their spouse.

No entanto, agora parece que já ninguém sabe de si, nem mesmo os seus melhores amigos.

Does this mean that they’ve become more careful? But for what reason if they’re planning to file for divorce?

Either way, that’s not hidden behind this change of behavior. I hate to break it to you, but they simply don’t feel the need to talk about you anymore. Yes, it’s as simple as that.

At the same time, they don’t plan to keep you around for much longer, so they don’t see the need to bring you up in conversation.

7. Trabalhar no seu casamento

Já reparou que o seu parceiro está realmente a esforçar-se por salvar o seu casamento, ou sou só eu?

Whenever you try to reach out, they’re always with them. They started mentioning their SO more, even though they try not to do so.

Maybe they haven’t told you anything about their reconciliation outright. However, I’m sure you stalk their social media accounts or have mutual friends.

You found out that they’re living their lives like every other married couple. It looks like they’ve just had a crisis, and now, they’re doing everything to overcome it and rebuild the healthy relationship they once had.

They’re traveling together, going to the movies, and attending social functions. Basically, they’re doing everything your partner isn’t doing with you.

Of course, you’ve never had a problem with them passar o tempo com outros membros da família. However, it seems like they’re using this as an excuse to get closer to their SO.

Isto é difícil de engolir. Parece que eras apenas um tempero para o casamento deles. Obviamente, deste-lhes o suporte de vida de que precisavam.

But hey, it’s better to realize it in time before you lose any more time with this person.

Terapeuta familiar

O maior sinal de alerta de que o seu parceiro está trabalhar no seu casamento is that they’re seeing a family therapist. You have to understand that they consider their relationship so important that they want to make it work at all costs.

Both them and their SO are aware that they have problems – nobody can argue against that. These problems are above their area of expertise.

However, they’re so willing to work on them that they involve a professional to give them a hand.

8. Arranjar desculpas

Um dos sinais de que o seu parceiro está a perder o interesse está escondido nas desculpas que ele continua a dar, seja qual for a situação.

You ask them about divorce? They will tell you that they can’t leave their spouse because they’re emotionally blackmailing them, because they have a mortgage together, or for the kids’ sake.

You ask them why they spend so little time with you? They keep telling you that they have to work extra hours, that they’re busy at work, that they’re tired, or that they just can’t fit you into their schedule.

Parece-lhe familiar? Bem, a verdade é que eu poderia continuar, pois existem inúmeros exemplos de comportamentos semelhantes.

Porque é que isto está a acontecer?

Mas o que é que todos estes padrões têm em comum? That’s right – they’re all excuses.

E acabamos sempre com um grande e gordo nada. Sabes que they’re lying to you, but the worst part is that they’re getting away with it.

This is not something you want to hear, but they’re giving you these excuses just so you leave them alone. It’s easier to deceive you to get back off their back than to tell you that they don’t want to spend time with you.

9. Promessas vazias

Excuses never come alone. They’re always followed by promessas vãs. And you’ve been getting a bunch of those as well.

Quando é que se vão divorciar? Em breve. Quando é que vais ter o lugar que mereces na vida deles? Já o tens.

Amar-te-ão para sempre? Claro que sim. Vêem-no como a sua alma gémea? Quem mais poderia ser?

Todos os estas palavras soariam perfeitamente se fossem apoiados por acções reais. But when it comes to your relationship, that’s definitely not the case.

Each one of these lines and promises are empty. Your partner’s words don’t match their deeds. And that’s the whole problem.

Of course, it hasn’t always been like this. On the contrary, it started happening once they started losing feelings for you.

10. You’ve become their last resort

Whether you like to admit it or not, the truth is that you’ve become this person’s última escolha.

Quando começaram a namorar, eles estavam dispostos a largar tudo só para passar tempo consigo. Saíam de casa às escondidas para o ver, cancelavam reuniões e compromissos profissionais para estarem ao seu lado.

Eras a sua prioridade e ocupavas claramente o primeiro lugar na sua vida. No entanto, tudo isso mudou com o tempo.

Lately, they’ve only been calling you when everyone else stands them up. Everything and everyone has become more important than you.

Their family (including their spouse), work, best friends, hobbies… you name it.

And you don’t have a problem with them having a place in their life. After all, you know what you signed up for.

Tem um problema com o facto de, obviamente, já não haver lugar para si.

11. Os teus sentimentos vêm em último lugar

Já tentou falar com o seu parceiro sobre todas estas coisas que o incomodam? Com certeza que sim!

Alguma vez foi uma conversa proveitosa? Claro que não.

Why is that so? Well, isn’t it obvious? At the end of the day, your feelings don’t matter to them.

Por muito doloroso que seja compreender esta ideia, they don’t give a damn se eles partem o teu coração ou não.

They don’t care if they leave you hanging, waiting for them to show up as they promised. They don’t care if you cry yourself to sleep.

They don’t give a damn about the fact they’re ruining your future. They don’t care how you feel.

Por outro lado, certificam-se de que não magoam o seu par. Certificam-se de que não perturbam a sua vida aparentemente perfeita.

It seems like everyone’s emotions, needs, and well-being are significant. Everyone, except yours, that is.

12. It’s all about them

Isn’t it clear? Your entire relationship revolves around your partner. It’s pretty obvious that you two aren’t equal here.

It’s not just about the fact that you two are spending less and menos tempo together. It’s also about the quality of that time.

Quando foi a última vez que falou sobre si? Quando é que os seus sonhos, medos e problemas foram o tema principal da conversa?

That’s right, you can’t even remember.

Mesmo quando os dois se envolvem numa comunicação significativa, acaba sempre com eles a queixarem-se e você a ser o seu ombro para chorar.

You’re very understanding of all their troubles. You even listen to them talk about their marital problems.

You’re there to give them advice, hear them out, or give them a hand even when they don’t ask for one.

Mas será que eles retribuem o favor? De certeza que não!

Whenever you need them, they’re nowhere to be found. They’re too busy to listen to you, let alone help you out with your issues.

It’s time to ask yourself this: Am I this person’s emotional partner or a pro-bono therapist?

13. They’re annoyed by everything you do

What are some of the first signs your affair partner is losing interest? Well, this one doesn’t have a lot to do with affairs in general – it also answers the question of how to tell if your o parceiro está a perder sentimentos.

Quando tudo o que faz irrita o seu parceiro, uma coisa é certa: a paixão já passou há muito tempo!

I’m mostly talking about those pequenas coisas they used to find interesting and cute. But now, they’re literally bothered by the way you breathe.

That’s exactly what’s going on in your affair.

Por exemplo, costumava ter ciúmes. O seu parceiro via isso como um sinal do seu amor por ele. Sentia-se lisonjeado pela sua natureza possessiva.

Now, all of a sudden, they can’t stand this side of you.

It’s like that with everything. They’re annoyed by the way you kiss them and make love to them, your text messages, how you look, talk, and behave.

I hate to break it to you, but this person’s disinterest is quite visible – you’re just refusing to see it.

14. Há mais alguém

Okay, so they’re cheating on their spouse with you – we’ve got that covered. But once they start cheating with a third (or should I say fourth?) person, it’s time to pick up what’s left of your dignity and walk away.

I mean, come on, you won’t allow yourself to be cheated on by a person who’s cheating on someone with you, will you?

If this is the case, the truth is that you’re dealing with a batoteiro em série. These people don’t care who their lover is – as long as they are in a position to commit adultery.

Detesto ter de te dizer isto, mas nunca foi por tua causa. Eles só queriam fazer batota, e tu eras conveniente.

You obviously no longer give them the thrill they were getting at the beginning of your affair. Of course, this has nothing to do with you – this person is just moving from one victim to another.

E, infelizmente, o vosso tempo acabou.

Why didn’t they leave you?

Well, why would they? If they have a chance to jiggle between the three of you, that’s exactly what they will do.

15. A tua intuição diz-te

At the end of the day, there is something even stronger than all of these signs your affair partner is losing interest. That’s right, I’m talking about your gut feeling.

Podem tentar enganar-nos o mais que puderem, mas, no fundo, sabemos que as coisas não são as mesmas.

Nota-se na forma como nos olham, na a forma como te beijame, de um modo geral, na forma como o tratam.

As much as you’re trying to tell yourself that you’re imagining things, you know the harsh truth. You’re aware that your intuition is showing you signs you can no longer ignore.

A única questão é: o que é que vai fazer em relação a isso?

Como é que se sabe se um caso acabou?

If your affair partner has reconnected with their spouse as if nothing happened, your affair is over, even if they didn’t break up with you outright. Don’t expect them to be brave enough to end things with you directly. Instead, they’ll let you make the conclusion yourself.

Como é que os namoros acabam normalmente?

A maioria dos casos termina com a reconciliação do casal, embora estes casamentos acabem normalmente em divórcio, seguida de uma relação de compromisso com a terceira pessoa. De acordo com alguns estudos, apenas uma pequena percentagem de parceiros infiéis deixa efetivamente as suas mulheres ou maridos para construir uma vida com os seus amantes.

Para terminar:

I know that it was heartbreaking for you to relate to most of these signs your affair partner is losing interest. But they’re here, and they’re very much real.

I don’t mean to judge you, but this affair would’ve ended one way or another. And it’s definitely much better for you to know where you stand.

To be honest, you have no other option but to leave even before seeing all these signs. However, now after you’ve seen them, you know what your only choice is!