15 Sinais de que se está numa relação queerplatónica

“A queerplatonic (or quasiplatonic – QPP) relationship is a relationship that is not romantic but involves a close emotional connection (platonic) beyond what most people consider friendship.”

Summarized, a queerplatonic relationship (QPR) is an intimate and intense relationship that doesn’t have characteristics of either a friendship or a romantic relationship.

É um dos laços mais especiais e fortes que se pode ter durante a vida.

Such a relationship is asexual but it also breaks the conventions of ‘apenas amigos’ and even if there was the possibility of sensual tension between the two, neither would ever act on it because it just seems wrong.

Being in a queerplatonic relationship means being with someone who completes you on so many levels (that you didn’t know even existed), which is simply incomparable with what you might have shared so far with your romantic partner in a romantic type of relationship.

Como é uma relação queerplatónica?

There are only a few words which can explain the feeling after you enter a queerplatonic partnership and those are…

You feel like you’ve known each other for years and you can’t imagine your life without your queerplatonic partner!

Eles são como uma espécie de alma gémea para si, uma chama gémea assexuada e provavelmente nunca olharia para eles de uma forma apaixonada porque a vossa relação é muito mais do que isso!

Both of you have sworn an emotional commitment and platonic love to one another. You’re best friends with non-romantic intentions.

You understand each other’s fears and emotions and sometimes you know what they are thinking without even asking them. You’ve formed a perfect queerplatonic partnership.

While to outsiders, a queerplatonic relationship might seem confusing (because people have this tendency to always believe that there’s something more romantic going on), this doesn’t mean that you should immediately give up on this special connection you have with each other.

If you choose to take part in romantic or non-romantic relationships, that’s your decision and no one else’s.

We’re living in the 21st century and every person has the right to make a choice of their own, so why should you make excuses for having an aromantic relationship which is both romantic and aromantic at the same time?

I know, it sounds pretty confusing but it’s real.

As relações queerplatónicas dependem da orientação romântica?

As relações queerplatónicas, também conhecidas como quase-platónicas, não têm limites nem restrições.

Those kinds of relationships don’t look at sexual orientation and they don’t respect any so-called romantic norms. These relationships are spontaneous and pure-hearted.

A única coisa importante é a presença de uma ligação emocional e de afeto físico.

Queerplatonic relationships don’t depend on polygamy or monogamy either, which brings us to the mention of queerplatonic marriage.

Regardless of whether a marriage is in the form of an intimate relationship or it’s an asexual community, these people are perfectly capable to raise children and form a healthy community.

A healthy marriage doesn’t depend on romantic attraction, cuddling, holding hands or kissing in public.

No fim de contas, o casamento baseia-se na confiança mútua, na comunicação e no respeito. Imagine-se casado com uma pessoa que tem todas as  qualidades de um melhor amigo.

Remember that sharing a queerplatonic relationship with someone is a truly rare and amazing thing to experience and if you’re wondering if you’re in one now, check the following 15 signs that your friend or bestie is so much more than that!

15 definite signs you’re in a queerplatonic relationship

You’re excited about spending time with them

You can’t think of a single time you said yes to their plans and didn’t feel like it.

Even if you don’t feel like clubbing, you’re still excited about spending time with them because you just know that your day will get so much better the moment you see them.

When we talk about queerplatonic relationships, you don’t need romantic love to be able to feel the excitement before meeting the person you like.

Because of your special bond, you even make sure to make time especially for them and if there isn’t any time, you cancel other plans for them.

Muitas vezes perguntamo-nos se foi demasiado

When you’re together, everything feels so natural and normal.

 Partilha os seus pensamentos mais profundos e medos, mesmo nas primeiras fases da amizade, porque parece correto.

When you’re with your person, you have a feeling that you’ve found a life partner regardless of whether you are a romantic couple or not.

But once you’re on your own, you wonder if that was a little bit too much to share.

Eles entendem-nos quando mais ninguém o faz

De todos os tipos de relacionamento, este é o mais compreensivo.

When everyone else is looking at you like you’re crazy, they seem to get you.

You’re so connected that there are no boundaries between the two of you and sometimes it feels like you can read each other’s minds.

There’s no awkward silence – ever

It’s like you can spend hours talking and the moment you separate, you remember something you forgot to tell them.

You have so much in common and you share so many things you’re passionate about that you can discuss them for ages.

And you feel so comfortable with each other that it just feels good to tell them everything that’s on your mind, no matter how stupid, scary or messed up it sounds.

O silêncio total ou a falta de palavras não é um problema nesta comunidade aromática porque nunca se sente esse silêncio desconfortável.

It’s impossible to feel it when you’re with someone you’d trust your life with.

They get you and you’re not afraid to speak your mind because you know they won’t judge you.

You complete each other’s sentences

Sometimes it freaks you out and sometimes it just feels amazing to have someone who’s always on the same page with you.

They know exactly what you mean at all times and you even find yourself finishing each other’s sentences.

Para quem está de fora, parece que desenvolveram a vossa própria língua, pois falam depressa e sem mais explicações, porque simplesmente sabem o que o outro está a pensar naquele momento.

Espero que agora compreenda que a assexualidade e as relações platónicas também podem criar relações significativas.

It’s not all about getting into bed with somene and physical contact.

There’s slight jealousy when they’re talking about another friend

There’s nothing more painful for a queerplatonic relationship than a third person.

Esse é o ponto mais vulnerável de todas as relações, incluindo esta.

It’s not like you don’t want them to have any other friends besides you, it’s just that you don’t want them to talk about them in front of you.

Sentimo-nos especiais e quando mencionam outra pessoa, essa sensação desaparece durante algum tempo.

But don’t worry, this one goes both ways. They’re ciúmes quando se fala de outra pessoa também.

After all, a small dose of jealousy hasn’t harmed anyone so far.

Sente-se completo com eles

Procuramos durante toda a nossa vida por aquele alguém que nos tornará completos, por aquele alguém que nos fará sentir como a outra metade de nós próprios.

And you can feel just that with them, in a way you can’t even feel with your own significant other.

That’s not a sign that your relationship with your partner is not good enough or that there’s something wrong with it.

Considera isto uma bênção, porque encontraste algo que muitos de nós ainda estamos à procura.

Outras pessoas expressam as suas suspeitas sobre a vossa relação

They either tell you that it’s unhealthy to be that close to someone or that there’s something more going on than friendship.

They may call you out for having a crush on each other or for ‘hiding your true emotions’.

That’s because most people don’t understand the kind of bond you share, simply because of its rarity.

Aceite um conselho e ignore simplesmente o que toda a gente lhe diz e siga os seus instintos. Se quer acariciar, então acaricie.

Se queres apenas falar, então fala. Façam o que o vosso coração vos disser.

Quando vemos o seu nome no ecrã, ficamos todos tontos

You feel like a little schoolgirl when you see that they texted you or they’re calling you.

You are eager to see what news they have to share with you, whether it’s maybe something new you can do together or something new that happened to them since the last time you talked (and that was like, minutes ago).

It’s almost like you have a crush but then it’s not.

They already know how you feel, so there’s no need for you to explain

Em vez de procurar as palavras certas, a melhor forma de exprimir o que sente, eles já sabem.

É tão bom ter alguém que sabe como nos sentimos, mesmo sem dizer uma única palavra.

And even when you’re confused and you’re not sure how you feel about something, when they put it into words, it makes sense instantly.

Everything seems better when you’re with them

Everything seems less scary and you feel like you can conquer the world when you’re together.

When you’re down, they pull you up. When you’re happy, they’re happy with you.

You don’t need expensive restaurants, clubs or pints of ice cream. You don’t need vacations or expensive trips.

Só precisas da tua melhor amiga para tornar tudo melhor e simplesmente estar ao teu lado.

When something happens, they’re the first person who comes to mind

Whether it’s a bad or good thing, they’re the first person you think of when something happens to you.

It doesn’t matter whether it’s good or bad, you just want them nearby to share the news.

If they’re not there, you’re constantly thinking about how they would have enjoyed it, how you wished they were there.

You’re so close that you simply know how they think and what things they enjoy.

Alcunhas estranhas

As relações queerplatónicas baseiam-se em alcunhas estranhas mútuas que se dão um ao outro.

Whether you’re still in high school or in your late 40s, it’s a way to tell everyone ‘we’re together’.

Those nicknames mean something to both of you but to everyone else they’re just, well, weird.

For example, you’ve probably called each other a zucchini or a squish. Trust me, it gets even weirder.

Veste-se de igual sem sequer tentar

It’s like you read each other’s minds, as you dress alike without even telling each other what you’re going to wear.

Partilham o mesmo gosto em termos de roupa, música e basicamente tudo o resto, pelo que era apenas uma questão de tempo até começarem a vestir-se de forma semelhante.

Gostam tanto um do outro que, inconscientemente, compram coisas que os fazem lembrar, o que leva a que tenham quase o mesmo guarda-roupa um do outro.

Eles sabem o que você precisa ainda melhor do que você

Whether it’s walking around all day, clubbing all night or simply sharing silence, they know what you need at that moment, even when you don’t know it yourself.

That’s why it just feels so good to be in a queerplatonic relationship because you make each other happy so naturally and without any fuss.

Fazem-se felizes um ao outro porque isso também vos faz felizes.