15 sinais claros de que uma pessoa que não gosta de compromissos te ama
A maioria das pessoas diz que fobias de compromisso can’t change. You’ll invest all of your time, energy, and effort into this relationship, and it will all be in vain. You’ll just end up drained, exhausted, and scared to love again.
Mas será que existe uma exceção a esta regra? O que é que acontece quando se está sempre a ver o sinais de que um fóbico de compromissos te ama?
More importantly, how can you know if the signs are real? What if you’re just projecting your desires and imagination onto their behavior? What if you’re just comforting yourself and seeing signs that are not actually there?
Well, I think we’ve all been there – I know I have. And my experience has taught me how people with commitment issues behave when they truly love the other person.
15 Sinais de que um fóbico de compromisso te ama
If a commitment phobe is acting like this, it’s a good sign he’s falling for you:
1. Ele quer passar tempo consigo
If a man wants to spend time with you, one thing is for sure: he’s falling for you. But just to be clear, we’re not talking about an average person here – we’re talking about a man with serious commitment issues.
When someone like this has the desire to spend a lot of time with you, that can only mean one thing: you’ve gotten under his skin.
The funniest part is that he is probably behaving like this without even being aware of it. He fails to realize that his walls are slowly being torn down, and he has no clue what’s going on.
A única coisa que este homem sente é a vontade inexplicável de estar o mais perto possível de si.
All of a sudden, he’s never too busy to see you. No matter what happens, somehow, he can always fit you into his tight schedule. In fact, he’ll even cancel important plans last minute just to be with you.
2. Ele torna-se territorial
One of the most important signs a commitment phobe loves you is his possessive and territorial behavior. This man will never admit that he’s jealous, but he sure does display sinais de ciúme.
Don’t worry, he doesn’t think of you as his property, and he doesn’t think he owns you. However, the truth is that he couldn’t stand the idea of you being with someone else.
Ele não está a persegui-la ou a comportar-se possessivamente de uma forma pouco saudável. No entanto, vê como a expressão facial dele muda sempre que envia uma mensagem a alguém ou fala com um colega de trabalho giro.
Of course, he won’t say anything about this because it would mean he wants to take your relationship to the next level, and that is a step he is still not ready to take.
Mas posso prometer-lhe uma coisa: este homem ficaria absolutamente destroçado se a visse apaixonada por outra pessoa.
3. Os amigos e a família dele sabem de si
Os fóbicos de compromissos normalmente odeiam PDAs. Estas pessoas preferem manter a sua vida amorosa o mais secreta possível porque isso dá-lhes a impressão de que as suas relações são suficientemente casuais e que não há nada a temer.
No entanto, consigo, tudo é diferente. Este homem não tem qualquer problema em ser visto em público consigo.
Não só isso: todos os seus entes queridos sabem de si. Maybe he hasn’t introduced you as his official girlfriend just yet, but one thing is for sure: they’re all familiar with your existence.
Sem o saber, este homem está a dar-lhe um lugar na sua vida.
O que é que se deve fazer? Absolutamente nada! Descontraia-se, desfrute e deixe as coisas seguirem o seu próprio rumo.
Don’t push anything too hard, but make sure you get along with his closest friends and family members. Before you know it, you’ll effortlessly become part of the group and achieve what no other woman before you ever has.
4. Deixam-no entrar
The most common sign of commitment phobia is the walls commitment phobes build around themselves. If you observe things carefully, you’ll see that people with commitment issues rarely talk about themselves.
I’m not referring to everyday, casual things. The truth is that they don’t reveal much about their childhood, trust issues, deeply rooted traumas, past love life, emotional baggage… Basically, they hide all of their fears and vulnerabilities.
So, if you’re looking for signs a commitment phobe loves you, just see how he reacts when you ask him questões profundas e pessoais. If he’s more than happy to open up and let you in, this man is already head over heels for you.
Actually, in most cases, he won’t even wait for you to tackle these issues – he’ll be the first one to start with the serious topics.
One thing is clear: he sees you as more than a lover – you’re his friend. He feels like he can trust you, and that’s exactly what made him fall for you.
5. Ele tem medo de a perder
We’ve all been in this situation: a commitment phobe keeps showing red flags that he’ll never change. Whatever you do, you can’t get him to take your relationship to the next level.
So, you give him an ultimatum. You two either build a committed relationship, or you’re out.
Infelizmente, na maioria dos casos, uma pessoa com fobia de compromisso não tem problemas em deixá-la ir. Mesmo que ele queira que você fique, os seus medos impedem-no de lhe dar o que você quer.
No entanto, o que acontece quando ele mostra como ele tem medo de a perder e concorda com o seu ultimato? Bem, essa é uma das mais fortes sinais que um fóbico de compromissos adora tu.
Let’s get one thing straight here: giving a man an ultimatum should be your last resort as it won’t necessarily end well. However, sometimes you have no other choice.
6. Fala da sua fobia de compromissos
If a commitment-phobe tells you: “I am a commitment phobe,” you’ve done half the job. You see, these people don’t go around telling others they have commitment issues. In fact, in a lot of cases, they’re unaware of their issues.
But if a guy is open about his problem and is willing to talk about it, it means he’s on a path of healing and recovery. He’s acknowledged that his behavior is not healthy, and he obviously wants to change.
Most importantly, you’re the person he opened up to about his fears and trust issues. You have to know that this is a big deal, so please don’t take this honor for granted.
E não é só isso: um homem que a ama vai falar consigo sobre as causas e as fontes da sua fobia de compromisso. He’ll be honest with you about his past love life, and he’ll tell you exactly what made him this way.
Nesta situação, a sua única tarefa é ouvi-lo com atenção e oferecer-lhe um ombro para chorar.
7. Trabalha a sua saúde mental
Um dos maiores sinais de que um fóbico de compromissos gosta de si é o facto de ele estar a tentar fazer a diferença. Ele percebe que tem um problema e quer trabalhar a sua saúde mental para o bem de ambos.
When he admits he has commitment issues, he doesn’t expect you to just deal with it. Instead, he puts a lot of effort into getting to the bottom of his trust issues and resolving his problems.
This is something you should appreciate above all. This man loves you so much that he is ready to face his biggest fears because of you. Trust me – this is the biggest and bravest step he could take.
Tudo o que lhe resta agora é encorajá-lo e dar-lhe a mão nesta viagem tão importante.
8. Ele valoriza a sua opinião
This man doesn’t see you only as his lover. He appreciates and respects you as a person, which is sometimes even more important.
He frequently asks for your advice, and he clearly values your opinion. This can only mean one thing: he’s letting you into his life.
He doesn’t have to colocar um rótulo na vossa relação, but he definitely does treat you as his girlfriend. Actually, you’re even more than this to him – you’re his partner in crime.
With time, you’ve become his person. He’s started trusting you, and he’s realized he can rely on you. And for someone with commitment issues, this is bigger than plain romantic love.
9. Faz planos para o futuro
When a man displays signs of commitment phobia, he’ll avoid the “future talk” at all costs. He’s terrified of making any plans ahead of time because that would mean that he is in a serious relationship that is going somewhere.
It’s impossible to make any arrangements with commitment phobes. You can ask them to confirm your date next week, and they’ll run for their lives.
However, this man is different because he’s the one who initiates future plans with you. One thing is for sure: he can’t picture his life without you.
No, I’m not saying that he promises to spend the rest of his life with you. He’s not asking you to marry him or anything like that.
But please, don’t let this disappoint you. On the contrary, be grateful for the things he is doing. Baby steps, remember?
If your commitment phobe is booking you two a vacation together for next summer, trust me, that’s the furthest he’s gone with a significant other. He includes you in his holiday plans, and he doesn’t make any major life decisions without consulting you, even if those decisions will affect his life a year from now.
The best part is that you don’t have to push anything – he’s the one doing all the work. This is a good sign that this man is sure your relationship will be a long-lasting one.
10. Ele quer saber mais sobre si
Procura sinais de que um fóbico de compromissos gosta de si? A primeira coisa a que deve prestar atenção é o interesse dele pela sua vida.
I’m not talking about the fact that this man asks you about your everyday activities and whereabouts – even though this is a huge step for many. This guy wants to get to know the real you.
Ele vai muito além da superfície e tenta descobrir quem és como pessoa. Ele faz todas as perguntas importantes e lembra-se de pequenas coisas sobre si.
He is interested in your friends, hobbies, dreams, hopes, childhood… He cares about everything that might concern you.
11. Ele encontra-te a meio caminho
In all of his past relationships, it was his way or no way at all. He didn’t really care about his ex-girlfriends, so he could act like this.
Qual era a pior coisa que lhe podiam ter feito? Deixá-lo?
Mas agora, he cares about you, and he doesn’t want to let you go so easily. He knows that he doesn’t have the luxury of being so stubborn, so he’s mastering the art of compromise.
Este homem não tem problemas em encontrar-se consigo a meio caminho. Ele cuida das suas necessidades e do seu bem-estar. Ele quer que sejas feliz ao lado dele!
12. He’s trying to change
You know what they say: you can’t change a man who doesn’t want to be changed. And that’s the biggest truth out there.
No entanto, Quando um fóbico de compromissos se apaixona, ele próprio sente a necessidade de mudar. Depois de todo este tempo, apercebe-se de que são os seus medos que o enjaulam.
He’s become sick and tired of his inability to love. He feels the need to give himself completely to another human being.
He does all of this without you saying a word. It’s just that he wants to revive that vulnerable boy who fell asleep inside of him.
Finally, he’s brave enough to expose himself emotionally. And that’s exactly what he’s doing.
13. Trabalha as suas capacidades de comunicação
People who suffer from a fear of commitment almost always suffer from a fear of communication as well. Don’t get me wrong – they can be the biggest social butterflies out there. They can be outgoing and have amazing social skills.
But I’m not referring to small talk here. Fobias de compromisso têm dificuldade em exprimir os seus verdadeiros sentimentos.
Em vez de as verbalizarem, elas reprimir as suas emoções e escondê-los do resto do mundo, incluindo eles próprios.
Therefore, if your guy starts working on his communication skills, it’s one of the signs a commitment phobe loves you.
Já não recebe o tratamento silencioso when he’s angry. Instead, he tells you exactly what hurt him, what’s wrong, and what you can do to fix it.
He doesn’t have a problem paying you a decent compliment without adding sarcasm and irony to it. He even uses babyish talk without being embarrassed about it.
He tells you he misses you directly. He talks about his plans and feelings without you having to guess what’s on his mind.
14. Torna-se mais fiável
One of the biggest problems about commitment phobes is that you can’t rely on them. These people are incapable of promising that they’ll be around a few days from now, let alone sticking to what they said.
Bem, um dos sinais de que um fóbico de compromissos a ama é que ele está a transformar-se num verdadeiro homem com quem pode contar. As suas acções têm correspondido às suas palavras desde que começou a apaixonar-se por si.
De alguma forma, this man has begun taking care of you. You’re still an mulher independentemas sabes que ele te protege.
He’s there to hold your hand through tough times, wipe away your tears, help you out, and be there to solve your problems. You know that if you called him in the middle of the night, he would pick up and come running to you.
O teu instinto diz-te uma coisa: se caíres, este homem estará aqui para te apanhar.
He’s ready to move mountains for your sake, and he’d rather die than leave you hanging.
15. Ele diz-lhe
Truth be told, your gut tells you that this man is falling in love with you. He’s sending you romantic, loving vibes, and he’s done a lot of things to prove his feelings for you. But you need confirmation.
And that’s exactly what you get – a miracle. That’s right, a fobia de compromissos diz-nos que nos ama.
Well, just imagine how special you are to this man. He’s managed to defeat his biggest fear, and he’s gotten emotionally naked in front of you.
Don’t worry, he’s not like other guys. He’s not saying these three magic words to manipulate you, and he’s definitely not a bombardear-te de amor.
When a commitment phobe tells you he loves you, one thing is for sure – he definitely means it.
Os fóbicos de compromissos apaixonam-se?
Sim, fobias de compromisso têm a capacidade de se apaixonar e de amar os seus outra pessoa significativa. However, they can’t build a healthy relationship until they work on their mental health and resolve their issues and deeply rooted traumas.
No entanto, uma pessoa com fobia ao compromisso pode apaixonar-se mesmo quando ainda luta contra os seus medos. Tem dificuldade em aceitar e ainda mais dificuldade em deixar a outra pessoa entrar, mas o sentimento de estar apaixonado está dentro dela, apesar das suas tentativas de o combater.
Como é que se consegue que uma pessoa com fobia ao compromisso se apaixone por nós?
Se quer que um homem com fobia ao compromisso se apaixone por si, tem de lhe dar espaço para que ele próprio o faça.
Sei que o seu primeiro impulso é pressioná-lo a mudar. Quer ele para cometer e colocar um rótulo na vossa relação.
Assim, sem sequer se aperceberem, tornam-se demasiado pegajoso e carente. Chateia-o, arranja discussões e, consequentemente, irrita-o.
Well, trust me when I tell you that this is probably the worst thing you could think of doing. Instead of pulling him closer, you’ll get a counter-productive effect, and you’ll afugentá-lo.
Em vez disso, fazer com que ele se comprometa usando psicologia invertida. Pretend that you’re perfectly fine with this arrangement and that you wouldn’t commit if your life depended on it, either.
This way, he’s the one who’ll feel the urge to cage you. He’ll start chasing you, and the tables will turn.
In the meantime, instead of begging for crumbs of his love and attention, show him what he’s missing out on. Show him that you’re the best girlfriend he could ever have and make him receio de perder uma tal captura.
Porque é que os fóbicos de compromissos fogem?
Isto não é algo que alguém com questões de empenhamento admitirá, mas no fundo dos seus corações, fobias de compromisso run away because they’re scared of getting hurt. These people were, in most cases, once in a relação de compromisso that didn’t end well.
O desgosto que sofreram ficou-lhes na memória desde então, pelo que agora têm dificuldade em descontrair perante alguém novo. A última coisa que querem é expor-se ao risco de serem magoadas novamente. E envolver-se numa relação séria é exatamente isso.
Basicamente, a fobia de compromisso é como um mecanismo de defesa para eles. Constroem muros altos e grossos à volta dos seus corações para se protegerem de qualquer potencial dor emocional.
Como é que os fóbicos de compromissos se sentem?
As pessoas com medo de compromissos têm verdadeiramente medo de relações sérias e duradouras. Na verdade, sentem ansiedade quando confrontadas com a possibilidade de terem de se comprometer com um parceiro.
Chegam mesmo a ficar ansiosos quando vêem uma relação de compromisso e amor em que um casal está totalmente dedicado um ao outro. Começam a entrar em pânico, e o medo apodera-se delas por completo, baseado na mera possibilidade de lhes ser retirada a liberdade.
Para terminar:
Even though there is nothing more rewarding than spotting signs a commitment phobe loves you, don’t let this be a green light for you to waste years of your life with someone who shows no emotion for you. As much as this hurts, some commitment phobes never change, and there is nothing you can do about it.
Here’s a piece of relationship advice: if your commitment-phobic partner doesn’t show any sure signs they’re falling in love with you in the first few months into the relationship, don’t get your hopes up. It’s always better to walk away in time than wait for a miracle that might never come.
On the other hand, if you see good signs that something is changing in your love life, appreciate your partner’s strength to open up to you. Know that you’re special to this person, and encourage them to abandon their fears.
