Sei que é egoísmo, mas não quero perder-te

When I say, “I love you,” I am saying ‘forever’. When I say that I am afraid to lose you, I am saying that I have no idea how would my life seguir em frente sem ti. It makes me sound as if I am seemingly desperate and I don’t actually mind.

Conheces-me demasiado bem, por isso sabes porque choro quando me deito no teu peito, ouvindo o bater do teu coração. You know it’s because I’m afraid that your heart might stop and I will be left alone to fight with the idea that you’re no longer by my side.

Sou egoísta mas, ao mesmo tempo, daria tudo por ti. Sou egoísta ao ponto de te querer só para mim, só para me poder dar a mim e tudo o que sou a ti.

It’s a contradiction that I face from day to day, trying to understand what my heart and mind are telling me.

It took me some time to realize that it’s nothing possessive but rather the fear of not being able to look at you or not being able to tell you how much I truly, deeply love you.

I am afraid to lose you because I can’t see myself loving anyone else and the thought that someone could possibly take your place one day is like poison to my mind because I don’t want that.

I don’t want to meet someone else and have to explain to them why I think that the stars are so beautiful.

I don’t want to have to explain myself to someone else when I start screaming how beautiful the sunset looks.

When I did all that in front of you, you just smiled, hugged me and kissed my forehead. It’s still my favorite kiss. It’s like you’re telling me that you’re not going anywhere and that tu sempre me protegerás.

Eu quero isso. Quero mesmo isso. Quero que fiques ao meu lado para nos protegermos um ao outro, porque não há ninguém que nos possa compreender como nós compreendemos tudo na vida do outro.

Se encontrares uma nova pessoa (Deus me livre) e descobrires que serás mais feliz com ela, deixando-me, levarás o meu coração contigo. Deixarias para trás uma concha vazia.

Mas quero que sejas feliz. Se isso significa deixar-me, então vai em frente. Mas sê feliz. Tal como tu queres que eu seja feliz.

These thoughts don’t change the fact that I’m still afraid of a life without you by my side. That’s why everything I am and everything I will ever be, I’m giving to you.

I am afraid of mornings where I won’t be able to wake up seeing your wonderful, innocent face.

I’m afraid of nights that I might fall asleep not being able to curl up next to you and not being able to feel your warm breath on my face and the warmth of your body, so close to mine. I don’t want to see any of those scenes happen.

And I know that you don’t want that either. My fears are based on previous experiences that told me that if you hold someone dear, they will leave.

Nunca me deste uma razão para pensar que me ias mostrar as tuas costas e afastar-se. It’s just that I’ve learned that with loving someone, comes losing them.

Sorry that I’m so complicated. Sorry for telling you this for the hundredth time, but I am afraid to lose you.