7 sinais à prova de bala de que você é um facilitador em seu relacionamento tóxico

Quando se passa algum tempo numa relação tóxicaSe o seu filho não se sentir à vontade, uma atitude facilitadora torna-se o seu mecanismo de sobrevivência.

Basicamente, sem ter consciência disso, começa a agir de forma a permitir que o seu parceiro continue com os seus jogos tóxicos.

You’re creating an environment in which he feels safe to continue with his toxic behavioral patterns and consequently, you’re supporting the unhealthy dynamics of your relationship.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not trying to blame you for the fact that you have a toxic partner. No matter what, always remember that you’re the victim here.

No entanto, só quero que tome consciência das suas práticas facilitadoras, para que possa deixar de as fazer e estar um passo mais perto de se salvar desta situação relação destrutiva.

1. Continua a salvá-lo

The first red flag that you’re an enabler in your toxic relationship is the fact that you put so much effort into trying to save your partner, even though deep down you probably know that’s utterly impossible.

In fact, most of the time, you’re trying to save this man from himself. You see yourself as this superwoman whose duty is to pull him into the light and chase away his darkness.

You think that you’re the only one who has the capacity to fight his demons, the only one who truly understands him and doesn’t have the luxury of giving up on him.

2. Perdoa sempre o seu parceiro tóxico

Let’s be honest here. How many segundas oportunidades has your boyfriend gotten from you? How many times have you forgiven him for the way he’s treated you?

I bet you can’t even remember, can you? Well, the worst part is that by now, you’ve started forgiving him even before he apologizes.

Está sempre à procura de desculpas para o seu comportamento tóxico. Basicamente, continua a justificá-lo e a procurar formas de o perdoar, para poder justificar a sua permanência com ele.

3. Evita conflitos para manter a paz

Another sign that you’re an enabler is the fact that you do everything in your power to avoid any kind of arguments in your relationship.

I’m not saying you should be constantly picking fights with your boyfriend without a valid reason.

However, there is a great difference between avoiding all types of conflict because you’re scared of his reaction and trying to resolve things in a peaceful way.

Basically, you’ll remain silent even if you disagree with him because you know that even the smallest issues can cause hell in your relationship.

4. You think that he’ll change

Almost all enablers have one thing in common: false hope. You wouldn’t be in this relationship if you thought things would remain like this forever, would you?

So, instead of seeing the harsh reality, you live in a dream. You’re convinced that this is just a phase in your romance and you refuse to accept that your boyfriend is really a pessoa tóxica.

You do your best to make him change his ways, without realizing it’s an impossible feat.

5. Assume sempre a responsabilidade

Whatever happens in your relationship, it’s always your fault. Whenever something goes wrong, you’re the only one to blame.

In fact, most of the time, you’re the one who consciously takes over the entire responsibility for things you aren’t guilty of.

Not only that, you also take responsibility for your other half’s words and behavior. You can’t seem to grasp the idea that he is an adult who should stand behind his actions – without you babying him.

6. Defende-o perante o mundo

If you’re an enabler in your toxic relationship, you have this uncontrollable urge to defend your partner in front of everyone else, including your closest friends and family members.

Esconde o seu mau comportamento e tenta apresentá-lo melhor do que ele é na realidade.

Well, tell me one thing: Why would you have the need to do all of this if he isn’t doing anything wrong?

I guess that deep down, you know perfectly well that he’s the bad guy here and you’re actually ashamed of your relationship.

7. Nega que tem um problema

What is common for every enabler out there is that they refuse to accept there’s a serious problem in their relationship.

Por isso, se continuar a negar que o seu romance é tóxico, apesar de todas as signs you’re in a toxic relationship, you’re without a doubt an enabler.

You’re a smart girl. You see all the red flags and people have been warning you about your relationship.

However, it’s easier for you to sweep things under the carpet than face them.

If you had to admit that you’re in an unhealthy relationship, you’d have to do something about it – and that’s exactly what you’re trying to avoid.