Uma carta de despedida para o homem que não quero deixar ir

Durante toda a minha vida, fui uma rapariga forte e corajosa, mas quando se trata de amor, perco totalmente o meu poder.

Transformo-me numa rapariga que só quer rastejar para um buraco e deixar que outra pessoa faça o trabalho duro por ela.

And I am not doing that because I am a coward but because I can’t stand watching people while I am telling them things they don’t want to hear.

And that is why I am doing this right now. That is the reason I am writing this letter. I can’t look you in the eye and tell you that I am leaving.

Sei que ficarias desiludido, destroçado e que te desmoronarias. Sei que me implorarias para ficar contigo, dizendo-me que mudarias.

Sei que me vais voltar a dizer as mesmas velhas mentiras e o pior é que eu vou acreditar em ti e aceitar-te de novo.

That’s why I am writing this break-up letter far away from you. I want to calm my thoughts and to think straight.

I don’t want to hurt you, especially after so many things that we went through together. But I don’t want you in my life anymore.

I can’t stand putting you first while you never do that for me.

I can’t stand fighting for your attention while you easily give it to the first girl you meet.

I can’t convince you that you should sometimes listen to what I have to say because, hey, I know what is best for you.

I don’t want you to decide instead of me. I don’t want you to think that I would be incapable of doing big things without you.

I don’t want you to tell me what I should and shouldn’t do. I am big enough to know what can benefit me and what is not so good for me.

And that is what you did throughout the whole relationship. You didn’t behave like we are equals. You didn’t behave like I was an adult.

Sempre tiveste uma estranha vontade de ser o dominador, aquele que decide e que tem a decisão final.

E sabes que mais?

I am sick and tired of that! I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t even think I am worthy.

I don’t want a man who will mold me into someone he would like to fall in love with.

I want you to fall in love with the real me. I want you to accept the real me and not ever having it cross your mind to change anything about me—not even a single bit.

Estarei a pedir demasiado? Estarei a pedir o impossível?

I don’t think so, especially after everything I did for you. I’m not asking too much because if it was real love, you would have known my wishes by just looking at me.

Mas nunca foste capaz de o fazer.

Nunca viste para além do meu corpo. Nunca quiseste conhecer-me melhor.

Só queria alguém que fosse bom para o seu ego, alguém que ouvisse os seus desejos e alguém com quem se divertisse.

E eu tornei-me tudo o que tu querias. Perdi-me durante demasiado tempo só para te fazer feliz.

And I came to the breaking point where I couldn’t even recognize myself anymore.

I changed so much just so you would like me more that I forgot to love myself. The girl I see in the mirror isn’t that happy and positive girl anymore.

She is far from happy because she doesn’t listen to her heart. Instead, she listens to someone else who isn’t even good for her.

Ela ouve o homem que pensa ser o seu felizes para sempre . Mas não o é. E nunca o será.

That’s why this rutura A carta é tão dolorosa para mim. E sei que seria mais doloroso se estivesse a contar-vos tudo isto pessoalmente.

I know that I wouldn’t be so strong and that you would convince me to go back to you. And that is the last thing I want to do.

Hoje é o dia em que te deixo ir, quer queiras quer não. Há muito tempo que ouço os teus desejos e agora é a minha vez.

Preciso que respeites o meu único desejo, aquele que estou a escrever nesta carta. Quero que respeites a minha decisão como eu sempre respeitei a tua.

I want you to finally let me go because this is not love anymore; it is just a bad compromise. And I can’t live like this any longer.

If you are wondering if there is another man behind this whole story, just know that there isn’t. I am still madly in love with you, but you are ruining me like nobody did before.

You are hurting me even if I love you, and you don’t want to change.

Quebras as tuas promessas como se elas não significassem nada para ti e repetes as mesmas coisas vezes sem conta.

And I am smart enough to see that by doing all that, you don’t really love me.

Só gostas da ideia de mim. Adoras ter alguém com quem beber o teu café matinal, alguém que te manterá quente nas noites frias de inverno e alguém com quem te podes exibir.

Sadly, I was that person but not anymore. So please don’t call me and beg me to give you another chance because I gave you too many of them.

Don’t text me and don’t try to find me.

Mesmo que eu esteja a acabar contigo, não é uma coisa fácil de fazer. Passei demasiado tempo contigo para te poder esquecer num prazo tão curto.

So, please don’t reach out. Don’t make it harder for both of us.

Sabíamos que algo assim aconteceria mais cedo ou mais tarde. E é melhor que tenha acontecido agora, porque ainda podemos encontrar o nosso verdadeiro par.

In the end, I just want you to know that I don’t hate you. I guess heaven sent you into my life for some reason.

Maybe to make me stronger, to teach me that real love can’t be found on every corner and to show me that sometimes it is better to be alone than in a bad company.

E é isso que vou fazer agora mesmo. Vou ficar sozinha, livre de ti e totalmente concentrada em mim.

Maybe in losing you, I will find what I have always been seeking – maybe I will find myself.

Christine is the author of ‘ Encarando os olhos da ansiedade e da depressão ’ , a book that will change the way you fight anxiety and depression.