7 cosas que debes saber para encontrar al hombre adecuado
We’ve been taught through media, movies and the stories we’ve heard our whole lives that ‘the one’ will come and that all we need to do is be ready to receive love.
Everyone has their ‘one’ and that’s what is so wrong about it because no relationship advice should sound like ‘just be patient, the one will come’.
What? Does he really fly right out of the sky to be your one and only true love? I’d like to tell you that you’ve probably met someone who was a potential life partner for you.
You must be thinking that I’m going out of my mind, but it’s the truth.
When we look for the right guy, we think that that position could only be taken by one person in particular, but the truth is that there a lot of guys out there to whom you’re attracted and have the right behavior that you’d like to see in your husband to be.
Existe esta historia que nos jode la mente sobre cómo conoceremos a alguien: nos tropezaremos con él un día y el tiempo se detendrá. Pensamos que al instante nos invadirán los sentimientos.
It’ll be like we’re the only two people in the entire world. But that’s so wrong. Las relaciones requieren mucho trabajocompromiso y confianza.
Because of that, we’re giving you 7 things that you need to know before finding your right guy:
1. The puppy love stage can’t last forever
Al principio de la relación, te invadirán increíbles sentimientos de alegría y felicidad, como si no hubiera nada que pudiera separaros.
Pero, ¿cuántas veces te ha pasado? Le conoces y todo va genial, pero cuando la relación avanza, empieza a comportarse como un gilipollas y no te queda más remedio que romper.
La etapa del amor de cachorro es el tipo de amor superficial durante los primeros meses, cuando todo va genial, pero debes ser consciente de que llegarán momentos difíciles y los dos tenéis que encontrar la manera de superarlos.
2. A fight doesn’t equal a break up
So, this one I’ve learned the hard way. I would get into a fight with my boyfriend and in an instant, I would break up the relationship because I thought that there was nothing I could do.
I thought that I would never fight with my true love and I’ve been suffering because of that—a lot. I am not telling you that insulting your partner or screaming and yelling is OK.
But arguments that happen along the way aren’t worthy of throwing in the towel.
3. Recognize the ‘unhealthy’ connection
Meaning passion and lust. Lust isn’t something that creates a lasting and loving relationship. It’s just an explosion of chemistry between you two.
That doesn’t bring long-term happiness. Healthy relationships aren’t built on that but rather on communication and deep connection.
Una relación sana también tiene sexo apasionado, pero va acompañado de una conexión emocional y mental.
4. Las conversaciones en profundidad son cruciales
This goes together with the past point. I’m not telling you that you need to discuss the origin of the Universe but talking about your emotions and thoughts is very important.
Abrirse a tu pareja es lo más importante aquí (incluso más que el sexo). Hablar de vuestro futuro juntos es como crear un camino que os lleve a los dos a un una relación exitosa y saludable.
I mean, if he doesn’t want kids and you do and there is quite a chance that none of you want to change your mind, so why would you want to spend your energy on that. But how would you know if you didn’t talk it through?
5. Don’t expect him to heal you
If you’ve been through a lot in your past relationships, if you’ve been unappreciated by your parents, there is a chance that you are now trying to make it all better by putting all your broken pieces into someone else’s hands and expecting them to rebuild you.
That’s not really effective and it can cause you too much pain if your expectations aren’t met. Rather, put in some time and effort to fix your own self before you start a new relationship.
Sólo tú sabes cómo pegar tus piezas.
6. Las relaciones sanas se construyen con el tiempo
A diferencia de las relaciones malsanas, las sanas empiezan poco a poco, con intereses y atracción mutuos más que con lujuria y una explosión de emociones.
Las relaciones sanas tardan en construirse. Intenta tomártelo con calma y usa la cabeza. Sé que puede ser difícil, pero intenta usar la cabeza antes que el corazón, al menos al principio.
Your mind doesn’t operate according to reason and rationality. So, try to understand your thought process that goes with the relationship and take your time.
7. Esté atento a las cualidades que lo convierten en un guardián
Women come to me complaining about how they’re treated in a relationship, about how the man isn’t the right one for them or how they simply don’t feel loved anymore.
That’s why we go for someone who clearly isn’t material de maridaje, o incluso de relación. We tend to overlook the red flags and fall head over heels for him when we know that he’s not right for us.
Por eso hay algunos pequeños signos y cualidades de un guardián:
He doesn’t make you feel bad about yourself.
Él abraza tus imperfecciones, amándolas tal y como debes amarlas. Él te acepta por completo y sabe que eres digno de amor sin importar tus defectos.
He’s always there for you.
Even if he has something to do, if you need him, he’ll be there for you. If you are sick or you can’t do something on your own, he will be the one who will give you a helping hand and you don’t need to worry that he’ll let you down.
Le pide su opinión.
Quiere implicarte en todo lo que hace, incluida la toma de decisiones. Te pide tu opinión sobre determinados temas y agradece tus aportaciones.
Te presenta a sus amigos y a su familia.
He isn’t afraid to show you off because he’s so proud to have you in his life.
Tiene creencias y valores similares.
A menudo se pasa por alto, pero tener una pareja con intereses y valores similares es crucial. Si no sois fundamentalmente compatibles, os encontraréis con muchos obstáculos en el camino.
If you aren’t on the same page, there are times where he won’t respect where you stand and that causes a lot of problems. So look for someone with the same values and beliefs as yours.
Quiere hacerte feliz.
Tu felicidad es su prioridad y eso es un verdadero signo de amor incondicional.
Te ve como su mejor amigo.
No hay nada más importante que esto. Tenéis que reíros y ser felices juntos para conoceros de verdad. La amistad es lo importante aquí y la necesitáis en vuestra relación para superar los momentos difíciles.
Quiere el mismo nivel y tipo de compromiso que tú.
If you want a monogamous relationship and he wants the same, you’re on the same page and the relationship can go on.
Pero si él quiere una relación de sexo abierto cuando tú quieres ser leal, en realidad no hay nada que puedas hacer para que funcione.
QUIERE QUE FUNCIONE.
You’re both committed to making it work and showing each other that you are in love and that there is nothing that can break you.
I hope that I’ve been helpful. In the end, the most important thing here is to know how to choose properly.
Knowing whom to choose as your partner is very important and you need to commit to your choice fully—that’s why it’s important to know what you’re looking for.
Have the right kind of mindset and work on achieving everything you want in a relationship. Because that’s what you deserve. You deserve the best and you deserve to be treated with all the respect that someone can give you.
