Cómo dejar de huir de los problemas y por qué lo hacemos
We’ve all experienced it at some point. We worked really hard to accomplish something and we were full of determination, well, until it vanished and we started the race called running away from problems.
Aunque nunca fue nuestra intención esconder ese problema concreto bajo la alfombra, decidimos hacerlo porque era más fácil que afrontarlo en ese momento.
Aunque esto pueda parecer un método práctico, en realidad, al hacerlo nos estamos engañando a nosotros mismos y empeorando las cosas.
Running away from our problems might reward us with short-term artificial happiness, but that’s all there is to it.
It’s one of the biggest delusions a lot of people deal with on a daily basis. Now, the question is: Why do we do it?
¿Por qué huyendo de nuestros problemas cuando sabemos que al final nos alcanzarán y convertirán nuestra vida, ni más ni menos, que en un infierno?
To that and many other questions (as well as solutions), you’ll find the answers below.
8 maneras de parar Huir De sus problemas y ocúpese de ellos en su lugar
Pausa y reflexión
En lugar de dejarte llevar por el pánico ante un determinado problema o sentirte abrumado por él, detente un momento y reflexiona.
Think about all decisions that you’ve made, what you could’ve done to make things better and how you can improve them now.
At this initial phase, you need to understand what’s happening in order to be able to face the problem.
Also, when you pause and reflect, you won’t get tempted to run away from your problems instead of facing them.
Te centrarás en las cosas que ocurren a tu alrededor y en cómo te sientes al respecto, lo que te lleva a comprender una determinada situación.
Sólo podemos ocuparnos de algo si lo comprendemos por completo.
Las matemáticas son sencillas:
Pausa y reflexión = Comprender = Afrontar el problema.
Don’t blame other people or circumstances
When we’re feeling hopeless and helpless, we tend to blame other people or circumstances for the problem(s) we’re experiencing.
Lo hacemos sobre todo para justificar nuestra decisión de huir de nuestros problemas.
By blaming other people or circumstances, we’re telling the Universe that this is not our problem because someone else is to blame for it. Let me get one thing straight: Nadie tiene la culpa de nada.
So, make sure you don’t blame anyone around you, the circumstances, or yourself because that’s a surefire way to become passive and avoid dealing with the problem. Instead, be realistic about it.
Acepta el problema tal como es y esfuérzate por sacar lo mejor de la situación.
Acepta la incomodidad
One of the main reasons why we put our problems on hold is because we’re afraid to face and embrace discomfort. This always reminds me of the following lyrics by System Of A Down:
“‘Cause we are the ones that want to play
Siempre quiero ir
Pero nunca quieres quedarte
Y somos nosotros los que queremos elegir
Siempre quiero jugar
But you never want to lose…” (Aerials)
Podemos aplicar esta analogía a casi cualquier cosa en nuestras vidas y suena más o menos así:
We want to lose weight, but we don’t want to break a sweat for a second or change our lifestyle.
We want a better job, but we don’t want to deal with the uncertainties and discomfort that come with finding a new one.
Queremos experimentar amor incondicional, but we’re not ready to reciprocate, invest and make an effort.
En lugar de hacer estas cosas, sal de tu zona de confort, acéptalo y ten en cuenta que nada bueno en la vida es fácil.
Hay que sudar la gota gorda, enfrentarse a las incertidumbres y esforzarse si se quiere aprender a lidiar con los problemas y evolucionar.
Evitar la autocompasión
Recuerda que la autocompasión es una de las mayores pérdidas de tiempo. No solucionará tus problemas ni te hará sentir mejor.
En pocas palabras, no te aportará nada bueno, sino que sólo prolongará el sufrimiento.
Así, en lugar de revolcándose en la autocompasiónCéntrese en la superación personal. Vive los problemas de la vida como una oportunidad para crecer en lugar de esconderte en el miedo.
Que hoy sea la última vez que huyes de tus problemas porque sabes que puedes hacerlo mejor.
Empezar a buscar soluciones y elaborar un plan
Una vez que haya identificado su problema, empiece a buscar soluciones. Si su problema es el sobrepeso, la solución lógica sería perder peso, ¿verdad? Ahora, tienes que desarrollar un plan para ello.
You have the option to go for a walk, go for a run, hit the gym regularly, change your diet (eat healthier food) and probably there are some more options, but we won’t go that far.
After you’ve listed all your options, you have to make a schedule and stick to it!
When you have everything organized, there are fewer chances that you’ll run away from your new regimen.
Evalúa tus progresos al final del día y recompénsate por haber alcanzado tus objetivos. objetivos personales.
(Este método sirve para cualquier problema que puedas tener).
Buscar apoyo
Don’t be afraid of seeking help and support from your loved ones, support groups, your family, close friends, a mental health professional and so on.
Chances are that half of the people you know have gone through the same problem you’re going through now.
And even if they haven’t, they can still enrich your perspective, give you helpful advice, suggest solutions and support you through the entire process of dealing with your problem.
“If you’re out there and need help, please seek it. Be proud of your valiant day-to-day struggle. There is no shame in needing support.” – Jared Padalecki
Véase también: Equilibrar estos 10 aspectos de la vida es la clave de la verdadera felicidad
Sea persistente y paciente
Independientemente del tipo de problema, del método para resolverlo y de todos los demás factores, recuerde que siempre debe ser persistente y paciente, porque ésa es la clave del éxito.
When you start dealing with your problems, you will probably go through lots of ups and downs, moments filled with a lack of motivation and similar and that’s completely normal.
So, don’t let that discourage you from achieving your goals and instead use escapism as a form of coping mechanism.
Todas esas cosas forman parte del proceso que conduce al éxito.
Life doesn’t come with instructions, so we have to make mistakes and fall a few times in order to get up stronger, learn new things, and improve our strategy.
All you need to do is believe that you can, do your best, be patient and you’ll already be halfway to solving your problem!
3 Most Common Reasons Why We’re Huir de los problemas
We’re afraid of dealing with the problems head-on
One of the biggest and most universally known reasons why we run away from our problems is because we’re afraid of dealing with them directly and openly.
Nos decimos cosas como: “Oh, there is plenty of time. I’ll ocuparse de ello tomorrow/next week/(next year?)”
Nos convencemos de que no debemos ocuparnos del problema que tenemos delante. lista de prioridades at the moment because, as always, we have other “more important things” to do.
Sometimes, those things really are more important, but this doesn’t mean that we should run away from problems or postpone them for an eternity. Como siempre, la organización es la clave.
But, unfortunately, we often forget that or we don’t want to remind ourselves of that, so we decide to leave those problems for better days, when dealing with them will be more convenient for us.
But, will those better days ever come? Hmm…
We’re afraid of the outcome
Siempre que nos encontramos con problemas (sobre todo si se trata de un gran problema), lo primero que nos viene a la mente es lo siguiente: What if I don’t succeed? What if I make things even worse than they were?
Estas y otras preguntas similares son las que nos impiden seguir enfrentándonos a nuestros problemas porque nos asusta el posible resultado.
So, let’s say that you’re in college at the moment and you have a crucial exam in the near future.
La presión para aprobarlo es realmente alta y la sientes con cada fibra de tu ser.
¿Qué haces? ¿Te pones a estudiar para el próximo examen o lo dejas todo por miedo a suspender?
Some people choose the first method (dealing with the problem), while others opt for the other one (running away from the problem) because they’re afraid of the outcome.
El miedo es una de las emociones más poderosas del universo que puede obligarnos a actuar de forma irresponsable y extraña.
Even though we’re aware of the fact that our actions cannot be justified, we still act that way because in our mind it was the right thing to do.
We’re afraid of losing something/someone
This one is especially true when it comes to running away from relationship problems. It’s when you’re perfectly aware of the fact that things have gone south and your relationship is no longer healthy.
You wish things were different or like they used to be before, but you don’t want to do anything about it. Why? Because you’re afraid of the entire process that might take a turn in the wrong direction.
Quieres evitar discusiones, peleas, tener que dar explicaciones constantemente y cosas similares porque crees que, haciendo todo esto, las cosas podrían ir a más.
So, you choose to stay silent and passive for the time being (or forever?) because you don’t want to lose that person.
You don’t want to risk losing them because you think your life won’t be the same without them. And that might be true, but staying in an unhealthy relationship can ruin both partner’s mental health.
De nuevo, el miedo puede ser tan poderoso hasta el punto de paralizarnos e influir en la calidad de nuestras relaciones y de la vida en general.
7 Reasons Why We Shouldn’t Run Away From Problems
Al huir de los problemas, tomas un atajo (o la salida fácil)
I’ve never been a fan of taking shortcuts or easy ways out because I’ve realized that they DON’T teach you anything! And this can be applied to every aspect of our lives.
Running away from your problems teaches you impatience and neglecting the importance of making an effort. There’s no chance that you’ll learn something new if you don’t face it or fight for it.
The easy way out doesn’t teach you anything valuable and that’s why you should NEVER run away from your problems if you want to evolve as a person.
La paciencia, el esfuerzo y la perseverancia son algunas de las cosas más importantes que aprendemos a lo largo de nuestra vida y nos hacen más fuertes y sabios.
Tus problemas siguen ahí
Many people think that if they decide to run away from their problems, those problems will vanish into thin air. But, just because you aren’t dealing with them actively, this doesn’t mean that they no longer exist.
La verdad es que, no importa cuántas veces huyas de algo, esa cosa seguirá estando en tu MENTE. ¡Porque no puedes ordenar a tu mente que deje de pensar en ello!
The things we run away from and all the unsaid words haunt us on a subconscious level which means we won’t even be aware of it. (Pero, nuestro cuerpo y mente serán conscientes de ello con toda seguridad).
A menudo, las personas que huyen de sus problemas empiezan a experimentar síntomas mentales y físicos de su decisión.
Pueden tener dificultades para conciliar el sueño porque les corroe la conciencia, o pueden desarrollar ataques de pánico y similares.
The bottom line is that problems will still remain, just in another form that can be harmful for both your mind and body (until you decide to face the thing(s) you’ve run away from).
Tienes miedo de conectar e invertir
When we’re running away from our problems, we start having a hard time investing and connecting with others.
En el fondo de nuestro corazón sabemos que cuando surja un determinado problema (ya sea en una relación, o en una amistad), saldremos corriendo.
When we know that we won’t stick around when things get tough, we become more cautious about establishing and maintaining connections.
Let’s say that you’ve met a great guy/girl and everything is running smoothly, until one day something (and it can be just about anything) happens.
Pueden tener problemas de salud mental o familiares, lo que también te afecta a ti, porque esperan que les apoyes.
O su relación podría estancarse en la rutinalo que significa que tienes que encontrar una manera de hacer las cosas emocionantes de nuevo.
Now, if you’re a person who usually runs away from problems, that’s exactly what you’ll do in these situations as well.
Así, la próxima vez que conozcas a alguien nuevo, tendrás miedo de conectar con él porque sabes que al final podrías volver a huir.
Véase también: 7 señales de que padece filofobia: el miedo a enamorarse
Huir de tus problemas te lleva a huir de ti mismo
Did you know that running away from problems actually means that you’re running away from yourself? Yup. And we all know that we can’t run away from ourselves no matter how hard we try.
Dado que esos problemas siguen almacenados en un compartimento especial de nuestro cerebro, la única forma de huir de ellos sería si experimentáramos amnesia (una forma de pérdida de memoria) causada normalmente por daños cerebrales.
Since the majority of us are not that lucky (sarcasm intended), we don’t have a choice but to keep carrying problems with us as we’re actively running from them.
Or better said, as we’re actively running from ourselves.
It’s a limbo that can only be escaped by deciding to face problems instead of playing hide and seek with them.
Te hace sentir desesperanzado
The truth is, you can TRY to run away from problems, but you can’t run away from el sentimiento de desesperanza que conlleva.
It’s when you’re alone and reflecting on everything that’s happened that you suddenly realize that you might have made a mistake by not facing that one problem.
It’s when you’re having difficulties falling asleep because you can’t stop thinking about that one thing you had to deal with, but for some reason you didn’t.
Las palabras no dichas y las acciones y deseos no cumplidos son los demonios que siempre nos acechan por la noche. Todos estos encuentros te hacen sentir desesperanzado porque aún puedes sentir el peso de tu decisión de huir.
Atraes más problemas a tu vida (y además sigues huyendo de ellos)
Una vez que huyes de tus problemas, esto se convierte en tu rutina porque un problema está conectado con miles de otros.
Por ejemplo, suspendes un examen que era crucial para terminar la universidad, encontrar trabajo, mudarte a otra ciudad, etc.
All these events are interconnected and they all depend on that one decision “to study for an exam or not”.
You realize that things have gone south and whatever happens next, you’ll just avoid dealing with it as well. You end up in a loop that is far away from a happy place.
Es una carrera que nunca ganarás
I’ve learned the hard way that running away from my problems is a race that I can never win. It is an ongoing problem that will keep creeping on you until you decide to face it.
The moment you decide to run away from problems, you doom yourself because you know you’ll never win.
Puedes seguir corriendo durante mucho tiempo, pero en algún momento tendrás que volver al lugar del que te fuiste.
Entonces, ¿por qué pasar por estas penurias cuando puede ir al grano centrándose en encontrar una solución para su(s) problema(s) particular(es)? Sí, esa es la verdadera pregunta.
25 frases inspiradoras sobre huir de los problemas
1. “I don’t run away from a challenge because I am afraid. Instead, I run toward it because the only way to escape fear is to trample it beneath your feet.” – Nadia Comaneci
2. “Going away won’t change anything if you’re running from yourself.” – Joyce Rachelle
3. “Wherever you go, there you are! You can’t run away from yourself, or the underlying situation, no matter where you go. You won’t find happiness anywhere, unless it’s already there in your heart, and therefore you have carried it with you.” – Andrew James Pritchard, Sukiyaki
4. “Running is the easiest solution to every problem. The capability of choosing this option on the basis of problem defines your personality.” – David Barik
5. “A lot of people think moving will solve their problems, when what they’re really doing is running away.” – Roxanne Snopek, The Chocolate Cure
6. “We feel that we can hide or run from problems, but we fail to understand that it isn’t the problem we hide or run from, but our capacity to handle that problem. Problems regularly attack due to our vulnerability to the problem; we often look at [the] situation giving us the stress & consider stress as the problem, but stress isn’t the problem, it’s our feeling or understanding of that situation which causes the stress.
Nos alejamos, intentamos meditar, tomamos medicación y nos entregamos a actividades que rejuvenecen el cerebro. Así, el estrés desaparece. Seguimos con nuestras vidas y, al cabo de un tiempo, la sensación de alegría también desaparece y empezamos a estresarnos de nuevo.
Problems are most vulnerable when it’s in the seed stage, but we water them with our ignorance or lack of attention and one day they become bigger than our expectation & imagination. We can still fight it, but we underestimate our capabilities & keep running away, that process gives it more nutrition to grow even bigger, and since we run away without solving them, they keep following us in new disguises; finally, one day we run out of places to run to and are left with stress, depresión, and anxiety.” – Shahenshah Hafeez Khan
7. “Acceptance of one’s life has nothing to do with resignation; it does not mean running away from the struggle. On the contrary, it means accepting it as it comes, with all the handicaps of heredity, of suffering, of psychological complexes and injustices.” – Paul Tournier
8. “What is needed, rather than running away or controlling or suppressing or any other resistance, is understanding fear; that means, watch it, learn about it, come directly into contact with it. We are to learn about fear, not how to escape from it.” – Jiddu Krishnamurti
9. “You can always improve your situation. But you do so by facing it, not by running away.” – Brad Warner
10. “Courage is a terribly important value. It means you don’t run away when things are tough. It means you don’t turn away from a friend when he or she is in trouble. It means standing up against the majority opinion… There’s a lot of people who won’t wear it on their sleeve, or display it through some heroic act. But courage is having the strength to do what’s honorable and decent.” – George H. W. Bush
11. “Stop leaving and you will arrive, stop searching and you will see, stop running away and you will be found.” – Laozi
12. “You can’t run away from yourself.” – Bob Marley
13. “To remain stable is to refrain from trying to separate yourself from a pain because you know that you cannot. Running away from fear is fear, fighting pain is pain, trying to be brave is being scared. If the mind is in pain, the mind is pain. The thinker has no other form than his thought. There is no escape.” – Alan Watts
14. “Running away will never make you free.” – Kenny Loggins
15. “You can run but you can’t hide.” – Emily Giffin
16. “Danger – if you meet it promptly and without flinching – you will reduce the danger by half. Never run away from anything. Never!” – Winston Churchill
17. “Running away from things you find unpleasant causes suffering. But facing and challenging such situations will enrich your life.” – Senora Roy
18. “Running away from the problem only increases the distance from the solution.” – Nishan Panwar
19. “Running away was easy; not knowing what to do next was the hard part.” – Glenda Millard
20. “We acquire the strength we have overcome.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
21. “Nothing ever goes away until it teaches us what we need to know.” – Pema Chodron
22. “We run away all the time to avoid coming face to face with ourselves.” – Unknown
23. “Acceptance of one’s life has nothing to do with resignation; it does not mean running away from the lucha. On the contrary, it means accepting it as it comes, with all the handicaps of heredity, of suffering, of psychological complexes and injustices.” – Dr. Paul Tournier
24. “When someone is trying very hard to get something, they don’t. And when they’re running away from something as hard as they can, it usually catches up with them.” – Haruki Murakami
25. “Trying to run away is never the answer to being a fully human. Running away from the immediacy of our experience is like preferring death to life.” – Pema Chodron
La única forma de resolver un problema es afrontarlo
Huir de los problemas es como entrar en un callejón sin salida.
You can hide there for awhile and think that you’ve managed to run away from your problems, but eventually you will have to go back and face them.
Afrontar los problemas en lugar de huir de ellos es la única forma de estar en paz con uno mismo y vivir una vida feliz.
Ser persistente y no rendirse nunca hasta encontrar una solución te hace más fuerte y más sabio.
Estas son las cualidades que debes alimentar porque te ayudarán a alcanzar todo tu potencial y a convertirte en la mejor versión de ti mismo.
Véase también: 8 problemas de las relaciones a distancia (y cómo hacer que funcionen)
