Cosas de las que hablar con tu novia para crear una mejor conexión emocional

If you’re in a relationship for a longer period of time, it might get just a bit more boring because it seems like you have already covered all the conversation topics at the beginning of the relationship and now you two spend more time being silent than actually talking. I know that through silence you can say thousands of things but that’s not what works in the long run.

En las relaciones largas y satisfactorias, ambos miembros de la pareja tienen que trabajar juntos para crear un entorno que les permita a los dos evolucionar y convertirse en mejores personas y hacer que se quieran más. Por eso, it’s very important to communicate .

La comunicación resuelve los problemas que puedas tener y, además, las conversaciones productivas y largas acaban construyendo una conexión emocional mucho mejor entre tu pareja y tú.

It might be frustrating sometimes because your opinions might not be the same, but that doesn’t mean you two won’t get along once you dive deeper into the thought processes of each other. In fact, communication and honest conversations are the best signs you and your partner are being intimate with each other.

Because of the fact that a lot of men don’t actually know what to talk about, or you simply might need some inspiration, I’m going to give you some ideas for conversations and things to talk about with your girlfriend.

Elogiarse mutuamente

This sounds a bit off the topic, but believe me, it’s not. Talk about something productive such as complimenting your partner for doing something good or telling her that she looks really pretty today.

It doesn’t have to be a long conversation but rather some way of showing her that you appreciate her and that you are aware of all the hard work she puts into the relationship.

Show her that you have noticed her new dress she wore today to impress you and show her that you notice her effort. Don’t just let her think that la estás dando por sentada.

Ideas de fechas

These may be date ideas, vacation ideas or ideas for the weekend. Any kind of planning that will give her something to look forward to. This way you can both voice your ideas, say what you’d like to do and actually turn that into action. It can help you build a better connection because you will be brainstorming about ideas for hours.

Also, something very important here is to visualize. Tell her to close her eyes and let her talk to you about what she wants the experience to look like. Let her talk and then you switch roles. There’s nothing more romantic than listening to your partner talking about your future.

Habla de ella

Everyone likes to talk about themselves. That’s why the best solution at the end of the day is to talk about her. Ask her about her interests. Her favorite band?

¿Qué escuchaba cuando era niña? ¿Qué pensaba de un libro concreto y por qué? ¿Dónde quiere estar dentro de 10 años?

¿Cómo quiere ganar dinero? ¿Alguna vez se ha sentido muy avergonzada por algo?

These are all amazing questions you can ask a girl in order to make her feel good. She’ll believe that realmente estás totalmente interesado in what she’s telling you.

Las personas de tu vida

The people in the life of both of you have a great impact on you. For that reason, it’s very important to talk about them. Ask her about her friends and how she met them, what do they mean to her and how can they make her a better person. Has she ever had a backstabbing friend? How did they solve their issues?

¿Y qué pasa con sus relaciones anteriores ? Bueno, estas cosas puede que ni siquiera quieras saberlas, pero pueden ayudarte en tu relación. Puede ayudarte a no cometer los mismos errores que las personas que te han precedido, perdiéndola como resultado.

The thing with this topic is that you don’t really pressure her into talking about it, just ask the first question and if she’s interested in talking about it she’ll continue by herself. Don’t let it seem like you’re insecure and you want to know where the other guys screwed up.

Hable de su familia. ¿Es importante la familia para ella y por qué? ¿Y su infancia? ¿Estaban sus padres orgullosos de ella? ¿Cómo reaccionaron cuando les contó la carrera que quería seguir?

Cuando os sintáis más cómodos abriéndoos el uno al otro, podéis pasar a preguntas del siguiente nivel, como si tus padres y tú tuvisteis algún problema mientras crecíais. Si sospechas algo, puedes preguntarle suavemente si sufrió algún tipo de abuso verbal o físico.

Estas preguntas son tan importantes que puedes estar hablando de ellas durante días porque siempre hay historias divertidas que contar sobre tu familia, las pequeñas peleas y lo mucho que les quieres. Este os hace vulnerables a los dos y te da una sensación de cercanía.

Secretos

You both have secrets. Ask her about the biggest secret she is keeping from the world. Just remember that you can’t really push it. If she wants to tell you, she’ll talk about it. But ask her about her secrets and why she’s keeping them a secret.

Pregúntale por las cosas de las que nunca se enteraron sus padres y por algunas escenas embarazosas que se mantendrán en secreto para siempre.

Of course, you have to take part in this and talk about your secrets as well and also promise that you will continue on keeping her secrets just that – a secret. This way trust is formed and you are finally able to dive deeper into her soul and see what’s hiding there.

Opinión sobre la vida y la religión

Everyone has their own philosophy of life and religion and they are based on things we have experienced. Because of that, it’s important to know what your partner’s view of life is in order for you to understand them better and for you two to see if you’re compatible or not.

But let’s put that aside for a while. Ask her about what she wants to do with her life and what’s her view on life in general. Does she live every day like it’s her last or does she plan out every part of every day? Why does she live her life like that and what are her next steps to living life in a better way?

¿Y la religión? ¿Cuál es su visión de Dios ? ¿Cree en la vida después de la muerte? ¿Había alguien en su familia que fuera realmente religioso?

From whom did she learn what she knows about religion? This really is a topic on which you can talk about for hours on end and never get tired of it because it’s interesting. But again, you have to respect the opinions of each other to the point where you won’t get mad at your partner for thinking or feeling a certain way about this topic.

Miedos

Qué buen tema para hablar, ¿verdad? Hablar de miedos suele ser una de las mejores formas de intimar y conocer mejor a tu pareja.

Tu novia debe tener esos pequeños miedos sin sentido como las arañas y las tormentas eléctricas, pero al mismo tiempo, pregúntale por los miedos más grandes. ¿Tiene miedo a la muerte y por qué? ¿Tiene miedo de no saber cosas ? ¿Tiene miedo de ser vulnerable y salir herida?

Estas preguntas realmente dan en el clavo y puedes mantener esta conversación durante toda la noche si eres lo suficientemente coherente con tus preguntas sin ser invasivo. Sé comprensivo con sus miedos y, si tú tienes el mismo miedo, intercambia impresiones al respecto.

Afterwards, put your own opinion into the conversation and tell her about your fears and what scares you in life the most. It’ll be more interesting than you might expect.

El día

Sé que parece un tema aburrido, pero contaros cómo os ha ido el día y lo gracioso que os han dicho en el trabajo es un buen tema de conversación. Podéis contaros todos esos momentos divertidos que te gustaría que tu pareja viviera contigo.

If she had an argument with someone, let her tell you the whole story and don’t interrupt her. Let her tell you all the arguments she made in the fight and what was the end result. If you have space to ask questions, do so!

She’ll love that you’re interested and it can lead to deeper conversations. In one day, she can go through many emotions and discussing all of them and finding solutions for problems will keep you busy for a while.

Pasiones

Every person has their own passions in life and what they want to do because it makes their blood flow faster. The way people look when they’re talking about things they love really is wonderful!

Por esa misma razón, hablar de tus pasiones y preguntarle a ella por las suyas causa impacto. ¿Pintaba cuando era pequeña? ¿Por qué dejó de hacerlo? ¿Le gusta bailar? ¿Qué le apasiona tanto que dejaría su trabajo ahora mismo si pudiera ganarse la vida con ello?

You might have things in common that you can discuss further and give each other advice on these things. You make her feel special, you let her talk and then you just add your own opinion. Believe it or not, that’s how simple conversations are, especially a conversation about your passions.

Felicidad

What makes her happy? This sounds very simple but it’s also very productive for your relationship. You can talk about what makes the other one happy and this way, you will know what to do in order to make her happy.

Puede haber pequeñas cosas como recoger flores o cosas grandes como la salud de la gente que la rodea. Esta podría ser la forma perfecta de enamorarse with her all over again because you will see that she is human, too, and that you don’t have to do some grand gestures in order to make her the happiest person alive.

Su relación

Un tema que da un poco de miedo. A menudo, la gente se siente vulnerable al hablar de su relación de pareja desde una perspectiva diferente. ¿Qué tal si os ponéis de acuerdo para sentaros cada mes y hacer un repaso de vuestra relación?

What can you do better? How can you improve certain aspects in which you’re lacking? What does the other side need that they’re not getting and so on?

The improvement of your relationship should be your top priority. I guess that that’s also the reason why you searched this topic and why you want to improve your communication. Communicate your differences, your wants and needs, your boundaries in relationships.

Así será mucho más fácil para ambos trabajar juntos y averiguar si realmente sois compatibles o no .

Matrimonio e hijos

Well, why are you wasting time with someone who doesn’t want to get married because they are afraid to commit? Or she wants to commit but you’re the one who’s afraid? How can you know this without asking?

You don’t have to talk about this early on in the relationship, but it is really important to talk about it at some point, so you know if you have a future together and if you have the same view on monogamous relationships and how would you want your marriage to work.

Los hijos también son un tema de conversación, precisamente por vuestro futuro juntos. Tenéis que saber si queréis lo mismo. ¿Cuántos hijos queréis tener?

If she wants kids but you, on the other hand, get frustrated every time you’re around kids and you simply don’t want a commitment like that, you have to let her know. It won’t help to try and convince her against her beliefs.

Sexo

Las conversaciones traviesas son imprescindibles en las relaciones. El sexo es una parte importante de tus relaciones y por eso se puede hablar de sexo de dos maneras:

La primera consiste en hablar de cómo mejorar tu vida sexual a la perfección y de lo que necesitas que haga más (o menos) tu pareja para sentir más placer.

Ask her if she’s satisfied and if she wants to try out new things that can help you get a better connection in bed.

The second way is you two talking dirty to each other. You know what I mean—tell her while breathing deeply what you’d like to do to her and what turns you on about her and your sex. Talk about the way you love to touch her curves and the way her moans make you feel like a real man. This gives you both security and reassurance that what you’re doing is pleasurable to the other.

Las noticias

It’s always an interesting topic to talk about the news. There is always something happening in the world that you can research or hear on the news.

What are her opinions on the newest conspiracy theories? There are so many things around us that can be talked about. There is bad news that you can ask her opinion about but there is also lots of good news out there giving you the chance to talk about how you don’t appreciate the little things life gives you. Numerous possibilities. Just find a story that’s interesting to the both of you.

Viajar

¿Qué países quiere visitar? ¿Por qué? ¿Qué plato nuevo quieres probar? Hablar de viajes es una de las conversaciones más interesantes que podéis mantener.

Start a conversation on this topic and you’ll end up discussing different cultures all around the world and you will also be making plans for the future where you two will travel the whole world together.

Even talking about things you’d like to pack with you for certain trips could be interesting. It can get funny and awkward, but you’ll get a better insight into your partner and she into you.

If she is willing to live out of a backpack for months of traveling, you know that she’s open minded for new things and so on. It’s just so easy to get to know a person better when you’re talking about traveling.

Cotilleos

Gossiping isn’t that bad at all. It’s a great conversation starter and it can go on forever because there is always something to say about someone else.

This doesn’t have to mean that gossip should be bad, but rather that you talk about the behaviors of your friends around you and other couples. You can always learn from them or at least get a solid laugh. Ask her about her work and colleagues – she’ll have a lot to say, believe me.

Trabajo

Work-related things don’t always mean gossip. It can be a conversation about a new project she’s working on and maybe you can give her some advice on how to better handle the team she’s working with. You can also ask her for her opinion on some problems you’re facing at work.

I know that it’s not emotional talk and it’s not something that you would consider to be romantic, but it lets you both know that you are able to look outside the box and that you are willing to help each other in every aspect of your lives.

Con esto, podrás ver si tal vez, algún día, también podrías trabajar juntos. ¿Tal vez incluso empezar algo por vuestra cuenta? ¿Quién sabe?

Sentimientos internos

OK, here comes the serious stuff. Talking about your inner emotions, especially with your partner is frightening. It’s making you vulnerable and the whole new level of intimacy is creeping you out. I get it! I get it all. But it’s not a reason why you should avoid this conversation.

If you are angry, try to articulate your feelings—what triggered your emotions and how she can help you feel better.

Also, if you see that she’s been going through some problems and that she feels sad, depressed or anxious, ask her all the questions that are needed for her to open up to you. What caused her feelings? How is she dealing with them?

Can you help her? Women really do want you to continue on asking them questions even after they’ve told you, “I’m fine”. She is not fine! Go and figure out what’s wrong!

No vayas con la intención de mejorarlo porque no hay emociones buenas o malas. Las emociones no son más que determinadas formas de reaccionar ante las situaciones para que el cuerpo vuelva a ser su yo natural. Just help her by being interested in her emotions. Take part in it and don’t let her feel like she’s alone in situations where she needs you desperately.

Conflictos

Not a pleasant topic to talk about, but at least it’s better than yelling at each other. If you have had a fight recently, try talking about it. It’s extremely important for your relationship to talk about your arguments, fights and conflicts. It lets you make an overview that can help you in your relationship.

When the fight is actually happening, there is usually not much space to talk things through to the core because you’re both very confused.

The adrenalin is causing you to have clouded thoughts and it doesn’t let you think rationally. So now, sit down and talk things through like adults. Find a way to solve arguments productively—in a way where both of you can be happy. There are so many things you can do better if you just talk about them.

Cocinar

I am not even joking about this one. I am genuinely telling you to talk with your girlfriend about cooking. Even if you’re not a good cook yourself, talk about different spices, what brands are the best for certain dishes and so on. This is for the pleasure of the both of you.

Podéis cocinar juntos a modo de team building para fortalecer vuestra relación y convertirla en algo maravilloso y especial.

Cocinar también es la mejor manera de superarse y de aprender a escuchar a los críticos. Y mientras hacéis todo eso, se os llenará la barriga de cosas increíbles que hayáis cocinado juntos. Hablar de comida y de cocina no tiene ningún inconveniente.

Cómo no quedarse nunca sin temas de conversación

Esto podría ser incluso más importante que las cosas que he enumerado anteriormente.

You see, people think that they don’t have anything to say at all or that what they’re talking about is going to bore the hell out of someone else.

Don’t think that way! You have been given the amazing opportunity to talk with someone you love and you enjoy talking with her. Do not be fooled that you don’t have something interesting to say or an interesting story to tell. Just give yourself space and all of your words will come out easily.

¡Escucha! La clave de una buena comunicación es escuchar activamente. Cuando escuches, sabrás exactamente en qué momento puedes preguntar una nueva pregunta to continue the conversation and you will also know what to ask. Knowing what to ask is crucial because she might be upset with you because you’re repeating a question she already answered and that by itself is a conversation killer. You simply have to listen and hear what she’s telling you.

Remember what she’s telling you. This goes together with listening. By remembering what she told you before, it will be easier to find a way to continue the conversation. If she’s talking about something, you can connect it with something from the past that she was telling you about. By doing this, you will not only help the conversation but also make her think that she’s important enough to you that you remember what she was telling you.

Cuídate. I know that I have listed so many things here that you can talk about with your girlfriend, but putting the focus on her the whole time isn’t an option. Remember that you have to be healthy and happy in order to have the urge to keep the conversation going. Don’t neglect your own needs in order to fulfill hers. How is this a conversation killer, you might be wondering? If you don’t feel good, than there is no conversation to begin with. Cuida de ti mismo en primer lugar .

I heard in a movie once that ‘interested is interesting’ and I found that advice to be very helpful! Whenever I turn the conversation in a way that the person talking with me does all the talking and I just listen and keep on asking questions, the communication gets better all the time. When you’re interested in the story of someone, they notice it and they don’t want to stop talking with you.

So now you have some ideas for conversation topics and some tips for always having something to talk about. The next time you’re alone with your girlfriend and that awkward silence is all around you, don’t hesitate to try out one of these topics. They really will help you and your girlfriend have a much much deeper and more powerful emotional connection.